NC’d for this, but I’m a regular poster and sorry it’s a long one!
I’m a landlord of a small flat and around 3 years ago my mum moved back into the area and I rented the flat out to her. I wouldn’t usually do this but she would’ve struggled to find a place otherwise as she had practically no credit history. But I was clear that I’d still do everything by the book and treat her like I would any other tenant. She’d also bought some furniture - the flat was actually fully furnished before she lived in but she wanted to replace some bits with things more to her taste. I said yes as long as she either left it or replaced it when she left.
She didn’t last long, after 2 months she went back to where she’d moved from, and I was unable to get a tenant in for some time so used her deposit to cover rent arrears. She was fine with this and it was all done above board via the TDS. It turns out her dad, my grandad, had bought the furniture I mentioned above. Even though it would have meant me replacing bits, I offered to give it back to him. He said no as he had no room for any of it - he said if I ever came to sell the flat then to just sell the furniture on and give him the cash.
I’ve since found out he also funded her 2 rent payments, deposit, and a few other bits and bobs. Not my business but it’s relevant. I had no idea if the arrangement was a loan or a gift, nor did I especially care. At the time he asked me for the deposit back and I told him he’d have to speak to mum because I had to used it for rent arrears, and my agreement was with her not with the person who gave her the deposit (again I had to treat her like any other tenant).
Fast forward to now - a couple of weeks ago, 12 hours before we were due to fly our on holiday we found that we’d had fraud on our bank account. We had a bit of savings but not really enough for spending money (we stupidly left getting currency to the last minute). For the sake of not getting a short term loan, we went to a couple of family members to lend £300 each from them - including my grandad. We got back last week, luckily money was back in (and I opened a new account!). So I transferred the £300 to my grandads account on Saturday from the new account. Due to the account being brand new, it’s unfortunately taking 3-5 working days for the transfer.
The day after we got back I met him in a coffee shop for a catch up. He started having a go at me saying that he’s sick of people owing him money, that’s he spent 3 years chasing my mum for the money he spent on her when she lived in my flat. Fair enough - but he started asking me why I had ‘his’ things in the flat. I explained that mum left them and that he was fine with them staying in. He denies saying this. I said I could try and get them back but I would need to first replace them as I have a tenant in. He doesn’t want that - he wants the money for them. He asked me how much they all cost - I said I don’t have a clue, ask my mum.
All this time I had my 1yo son on my lap and he was being very aggressive, pointing at me, screaming and throwing his arms about. People were looking. He said he thinks mum owes him about £1600 and he is “transferring the debt to me” because it all relates to my flat. And I’ve said, I’m not paying for it, I will pay you back the £300 I borrowed, but nothing else. He said “No, you will pay me back this £1600, and its up to you if you get it off your mum, but you WILL be paying it to me because there’s no way I’m ever getting it off her.” I once again said no. At this point, the plan was to give him the cash for that £300, but I wanted a paper trail as I had a feeling this wasn’t the end of it. So the next day is when I called to make the transfer.
I spoke to my mum and said she needs to sort this with him. She agreed and sent him a list of what she owes him, furniture included, and said once he looks at it they can discuss how it’ll be paid back.
Today he called me demanding that I got to his house NOW because the £300 wasn’t in his account, I’m a liar. I explained it wasn’t instant and he was having none of it. He’d got mum’s letter, and “you lied to me, it’s £2,000 I spent on her”. I said I didn’t lie, I didn’t have a clue how much she owed and I never even gave a figure!! It was HIM who’d guessed it was £1,600.
After screaming at me some more, he revealed he is meeting his solicitor tomorrow because he’s taking me to the small claims court for this £2,000 plus the £300 loan. And that I had “better come up as soon as I can and discuss this face to face.” He then hung up on me. I didn’t go up, he was frightening me.
I’ve been in tears. I don’t owe him anything, and could do without being fucking sued by my own grandad. I guess, despite this letter from mum, he’s decided that I’m the one who now owes him because it’s obviously easier to bully me than to wait on my mum paying him back.
For context - we’ve done a lot for him including caring for him when he’s had operations, taking him out for lunch, taking him to airport for holidays, etc and we have never once been thanked.
I have no other family around me, my mum is abroad, my dad died and my brothers live far away. I can’t really afford a solicitor, and I don’t know a great deal about litigation. Does he have a case? Has anyone else been sued by a family member? It’s bloody awful, I don’t need this, I have enough on my plate, my DH is extremely depressed and has had suicidal thoughts, I’m trying to take care of him and I think this may tip us over the edge.
Before anyone asks the inevitable - no dementia diagnosis, he’s generally fit and healthy (though I know that doesn’t mean he won’t have dementia). It’s very possible that’s he’s actually just nasty, I’ve seen it in him for decades now.