To expect him to make contact for the kids

[Soconfusedbylife]

So me and DH had an argument over the weekend and I asked him to leave for a few days. It’s the first time he ever has done but I am a bit confused that he hasn’t tried to make contact with our 2 young children (5&7). I have no idea when he’ll be back and he’s very stubborn and never apologises and I believe I was the more innocent party so refuse to go chasing him. How long would you give him before making contact?

Its Monday you asked him to leave for a few days. That would be Tues or Weds earliest.

Your poor children 😓 I can't imagine just fucking off and not even thinking of my DD.

You can’t play games with him like that, it’s not fair on the kids. You can’t kick him out over just an argument

It was a bad argument and we’ve been unhappy for years. He said something to me that was incredibly hurtful and refused point blank to apologise. I asked him to leave to give us both some space to clear our heads and think things through which we discussed calmly.

I just thought he would’ve rung the kids before bed tonight. He does occasionally work away so they think he’s doing that but they have been asking for him.

I agree it’s not right to kick people out of their home over disagreements :( Just ask him to sleep in a different room? That kind of instability isn’t good for anyone.

That said you’re definitely not wrong to be upset that he hasn’t got in touch but maybe he is really hurt that you would expect him to leave and has taken you at your word?

I don’t know, it all sounds very dramatic and I’m sorry that all of you are in this situation.

Maybe next time, make sure both of you understand that unless you’re genuinely separating it’s not right to be arguing like this. You not wanting to chase him, him staying away with no contact, you asking him to leave in the first place - it sounds really unhealthy so maybe you could resolve to communicate better to avoid this fallout in the future?

I hope he gets in touch with you soon!

Sorry I cross posted with you and your update kind of makes everything I’ve said irrelevant

I have never advised anyone to leave their partner but it really sounds like it would be better for everyone involved if you did at least temporarily separate, this sounds like a really hurtful and stressful situation for everyone

its only been a day or two?

I know it’s only been 2 days but this is the first time this has happened in 12 years so unknown territory.

if you break up he will go much longer between contact.