Kids calling my Mother in laws partner grampy!

[JKCR2017]

Hi all, so it’s a bit of a long complicated one. My mother in law insists that DC call her partner grampy. I’m all for step families etc. I call my own step father dad and DC call him Grandad and Oh isn’t DS’s bio father but is just as well as calls him Daddy. But calling this man grampy doesn’t sit right with me. OH doesn’t call him his step dad. OH is not keen on the guy.

Basically ‘grampy’ has 3 children that he doesn’t have a relationship with. They are grown up now but hasn’t bothered with them for years. In mine and OH’s 6 year relationship I’ve not heard him talk about them once, very odd.

Coincidentally, turns out his youngest daughter is an old school friend of mine. I remember her telling me about her strained relationship with her father since her parents divorced and he got a new woman. Didn’t realise that 15 years down the line these people would be my mother in law and her partner.

My old school friend, his daughter is about to have a baby (we are fb friends). If he doesn’t see his own children and grandchildren why would he want my DC to call him Grampy?

He doesn’t really act like a Grandad or anything so not sure the title fits right?

Aibu?

Also, I am sure she does it on purpose. Mil will Make ‘grampy’ comments on fb etc. I’m sure she does it as his daughter is on my fb and will see this. (This is the type of person she is).

I just feel for my old friend. I too don’t have a dad around so I know how it feels. I know how it feels when you see posts, photos etc of your dad on fb and your not cared about. I can’t help feel like she feels this way, when she sees mil post things on Facebook.

Can you call him Grumpy instead?

Totally see your point. What would you (and your friend) like your DC to call him? Just his first name? If so, I you could tell them to call him that but accept that it will piss off your MIL! The question is, is it really worth the aggro?

Mil will Make ‘grampy’ comments on fb etc. I’m sure she does it as his daughter is on my fb and will see this. (This is the type of person she is).

That's so nasty :/ I feel bad for his daughter

If you call him his real name all the time I'd be surprised the kids would do otherwise.

My partners Mum has always been keen on the ‘grampy’. He doesn’t act like a grampy figure either. Half the time he doesn’t even acknowledge DC. If he was like a Grandad I wouldn’t mind so much. I just feel really cringed out by it.

I’m not overly close to this friend. We were school friends but not in regular contact now, just Facebook friends with the occasional communication. But I’m sure she feels hurt. I would do too and I know how she feels being in a similar situation myself. 😪

Maybe she sees 'Grampy' as an alternative name to Grandad or Grandpa? My grandchildren call my husband (not their 'real' Grandad) Grumple. They already have 2 Grandads but my DH is somebody else special in their lives.

My mil has insisted on calling her partner grandpa. It’s taken fourteen years of repeatedly referring to him as ‘firstname’ but they’ve finally got the message. The children just went along with what we called him and have never used grandpa.