To blame the mother on her child's behaviour

[AIBUorAnxious]

Name changed for this as my usual name would be outing.

I go to a few mum and toddler groups and see a few familiar faces in some of them. There is a mum and child who goes to every one I go to and her child's behaviour is really starting to put me off going.

Her child won't share (which is fair enough as they're toddlers and it can be hard) and is constantly hitting other toddlers. When the child does it the mum smacks the toddler and shouts at the child. The child was really rough with mine today and it made me not wanna go back tbh! Some of the toddlers are just over one and the child in question is at least 2 1/2.

Would I be unreasonable to say that the hitting is learnt behaviour from the mum and she shouldn't be hitting her child to stop them hitting others? Its really uncomfortable for everyone in the group!!

She hits her toddler?!

I'm sorry, but had I seen that happening I would have a different aibu!

Call this shit out op, poor little child.

Raise it with one of the Group organisers maybe rather than confronting directly?

Is there a leader you can have a word with, who can offer some parenting advice..our local groups are run by a community mother's programme who offer support to struggling parents.

I think I will say to the group leaders, we live in an area deemed "socially deprived" so there are support workers etc working there, tbh I'd be surprised if the behaviour hasn't been flagged before.

I hate it when parents use physical violence to punish physical violence. It makes zero sense!! My Dad did the same growing up. Definitely flag it up to the group leaders if you feel able to.

We had a similar problem in our group but they were helping the parents in question so they probably are aware but they should definitely be on the ball when it comes to smacking as that's not pleasant Tor others around either.

I can't believe you haven't flagged this up, rather than criticise her on the Internet, tbh.

It might not be her fault, as such. She might be put of her depth and in need of Parenting tips.

The child needs closer supervision and shouldn't be able to have sustained contact with the others, until this passes.

I hadn't flagged before as (as bad as this sounds) it hadn't really affected me personally until today. My little one didn't know how to handle it and I was concerned about helping them and my other younger child and before I knew it the group was over and I hadn't really had time to digest until now.

I totally understand she could be in too deep

Tell a Staff member. I've never heard of a group that doesn't have a no smacking rule, especially for such a young child.

She might be glad if the opportunity to open up.

I’m surprised the staff haven’t addressed it. I know at the SureStart I went to with mine smacking was banned.
Yanbu to think the hitting might be learned behaviour from her mum.

Not surprising that the child thinks violence is the way to get his/her own way, if that is the behaviour the mother is demonstrating.

I don't understand people who hit children. It's just despicable, thick, lazy parenting and of course it causes emotional and behavioural problems - how could it not?