Or just a bit of a downer

[CrispyChickenSkin]

I'll keep it short, I really am not sure if I am being unreasonable here and would like some opinions.

I run a tiny crafting business and take bespoke orders from people for T-shirt's, wine glasses. Wedding favours etc.

A friend of a friend messaged me and asked me to make some items for our mutual pregnant friends baby shower.
Fine, not a problem. However one of the items she wanted was a newborn baby vest saying 'I am the reason my mummy drinks'. I said yes to everything but that I wouldn't make that vest. I felt wrong about it myself but I also think it will be very badly received by my friend who grew up with a lot of dependency issues in her family and still struggles with it.

Friend of a friend is raging and messaged me a few times to say how I am unprofessional, have offended her, I'm boring, shouldn't bother coming etc.

My partners view is that I should have done it as it's not for me to judge what others think is appropriate etc and he thought it was actually funny and I'm taking it all a bit too seriously.

I am a bit torn as she is on a bit of a crusade now I've had message from my friends sister who is arranging the shower asking why I have refused to do the favours etc.

Should I just go ahead and keep the peace?? I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing here.

If you think it would be insensitive to your friend stick to your guns OP

You are doing the right thing. What an awful gift that would be.

I think you are quite right not to do that vest, a vulgar message in the extreme.

I think YABslightlyU.
As a business owner you should be making what the customer asks for. (Within reason)
However as this is your friend and you are aware of how this could look I think you have been cautious and rightly so.
It is your right to refuse service to anyone you wish but the slogan she asked for really is tongue in cheek and pretty much harmless.

Thanks ladies! I am going to stick to my guns on this and I was more than happy to make all the other items(for free) but I agree..

@Rachelover40 unfortunately it's not the worst thing I've been asked to make 😳

Well if you don't think it's appropriate don't make it but it's not you giving it to her so if she is offended by it it won't really reflect badly in you and if she does mention it to you then you can tell her you didn't want to but your other friend insisted. I think they are being a bit unreasonable with their reactions, they could just go elsewhere if they are that desperate to have it made.

We want to hear the bad ones op!!

As you can see there are lots of places online that stock these babygrows. Friend of a friend has probably seen one and found it harmless.

@JellieEllie I know and this was my issue. I think if it had been someone I didn't know I would possibly have done with it, I just have a feeling it may hit a nerve and I don't like the sentiment and would rather not be attached to it in any way.
My friend will know I have done everything.

yanbu. What a thoughtless message to put on a baby clothe! It's not funny or clever. I would take to the friend's sister especially as she will know that your friend has had dependency issues.

@JellieEllie I know there are lots of places she can order form as an alternative that still doesn't make me feel comfortable about it.

@Santaispolishinghissleigh oh, honestly.. lots of quotes about boob sucking and for some reason the one I get most often is 'thanks mum for not swallowing me' all of which I kindly explain can be purchased elsewhere.

I like a funny quote/pun and am partial to a rude joke just not when it's delivered on a baby vest.

Eurgh personally I can't stand those "novelty" baby grows. Considering you know your friend who it's for, and she wouldn't like it you can just say "I'm not doing it because she won't like it" and leave it at that. It's not unprofessional because this is a personal item for a personal friend so professionality isn't coming into it.

How it can be the reason mummy drinks before it's even born? It might be a dream baby. My first drove me to drink, my second is easy peasy.

Urgh my teen ds sent me a meme of the swallowing one! Not acceptable on a baby's vest ffs!! Grim.

But yes it's tasteless. Like those Daddy's Little Squirt ones with a picture of a sperm on.

@Oysterbabe ha yes!! Also a request I've turned down. I don't feel like the one I've been asked to do is quite as vulgar but still...

@Santaispolishinghissleigh I know!! Plus they always want a little smiley sperm on there too 😟😟

You are doing these for free (did I get that right), they will be from you as much as anyone else, inform your friends sister that you have refused to do the favours you have refused to do one exactly as requested as bad taste. In fact do the baby grow with another, cuter message. "My mummy's friend is an Ar*e

thanks mum for not swallowing me

Omg 😂 that's pretty crazy !!

@hellozzz thanks yes I am, well some of the materials will be provided. I have spoken to her and explained I was happy to do favours etc but not that one thing and she was led to believe I had just refused. She is actually fine I think she was a bit confused and stressed out this morning.

@hellozzz i may just turn up rocking an xxxx is an arse T-shirt myself 😂 good idea

If you are doing it for free then making them is your contribution to the present. So you have every right to only do what you are comfortable with.

I bake novelty cakes for a (sort of) living. There are some things I won’t make. I don’t see a problem with that.

I wouldn’t make that vest under the circumstances either, OP.

If you're making them for free, your gift is your time and creativity. Your 'friend' can't gift that on your behalf, what a spoon.

Stick to your guns OP. It's a horrible offensive message particularly for anyone who has had to deal with the effects of substance abuse in the family.
I hate all these jokes about "why mummy drinks" etc. Alcoholism is a real problem and it's not clever to normalise it.