To not want to give my toddlers fish fingers every day...

[MrMakersFartyParty]

I've always made sure my toddlers eat healthily and never had a problem with it.
Over the last week the youngest ones have been refusing to even try what I put in front of them. They're not ill or teething by the way.
If I put fish fingers and bread and butter in front of them they'll eat it, but I can't do this every day.
I cook everything from scratch and I'm on slimming world, and at the moment I'm throwing away so much food and they're screaming at me that they're hungry... I'm dreading meal times.
My mums told me to just give them nuggets, fish fingers, pizza... Stuff they don't really have but they will definitely eat it. But it makes me so uncomfortable, I want them to go back to eating the same things as the family. Also there's no pattern to it, sometimes they'll eat tuna and sometimes they'll just throw it on the floor, sometimes one will eat fish fingers, the other only the bread.
They are 20 months old twins by the way.
Help I'm worried I'm going to make them picky eaters. Do I give them dessert still if they refuse to try their food? What do I do if they're still hungry?

My mantra is "you don't have to eat it, but this is what's for dinner". I also find giving limited choices helps, e.g. " would you like carrots or peas with your tuna baked potato".

Thank you all so much! I've been so incredibly stressed about it because when my mum has looked after them for an hour here and there, she says she's been so worried about them not eating and has given them a whole heap of rubbish. The other day I was gone for an hour and I came back they'd had nutella on toast, pieces of cheese, a freddo, and a chocolate mousse and a bag of crisps.
And she has been saying things like "if they don't eat they'll waste away, you did at that age so I used to let you eat anything you wanted" but I actually have a bit of an unhealthy relationship with food now so I don't think I'm a good example.

Thanks so much all! i will try to not let it bother me and just offer the normal stuff and only give fruit/yoghurt after.

Don't give in!! I did, and the little muckers won't eat anything non-orange!

Ah. Just saw your update. That's a grandparent thing. Honest to god, I once had to take DS to my mum's when he had (incredibly mild chickenpox) and I was interviewing people for a job. Got a panicked phone call around noon that he wasn't eating, phoned to check what he'd had and was told 'only two slices of toast, a pint of milk, a packet of buttons and some chocolate fingers, but he won't touch his lunch now and so I think he needs the GP.'

Er no. He needs to feel hungry!

Try to relax (easier said than done!) and keep doing what you're doing.

OP fishfingers are a good source of protein too.
It isn't considered good form on here to worry too much: the conventional wisdom is that if you don't make an issue of it then neither will your child. This may be true, but in the interim if you are worried at least top them up with a fruity pill so you know they have had all the vitamins and trace minerals they need.
FWIW mine breezed through toddlerhood and started eating like idiots when they hit 13/14. Your pain now may translate into sensible eating in the teen years! Keeping FX for you.

It is quite normal in toddlers. Probably goes back in our evolution to the time when young children would start to get mobile when we were living in forests. Becoming picky eaters would stop them from eating the pretty (but poisonous) berries.

tried many thing.
splitting some off and saying had to eat this half before they left table.
don't give up.if they ge tused to one food or fussiness then they wont ever break that routine.they say it takes kids that age at least three attempts to like things.so keep going.
keep calm.dont ingite a war of attention to them playing up.at that age attention is attention and is always wanted more of no matter how its gotten.
get them helping mummy.hold up random foods.get them to choose.bake the cakes
.ask there advice"oooh which herb should go in here?whats for tea this or this do you think?can you guess which veg mummy like better?what colour for tea red or white sauce?can you stir.can you taste this chef etc etc they love being involved and asked and needed.it distracted them too.
don't just accept and replace.you no how far you can "tell off" or push before its gone too far but don't just say "oh ok luvvie here you go instead."
praise if they try something new.treat them as a puppy who just peed in the right place!
"dad says these are nice.i don't....what do you think"worked wonders.and we switched depending on which parent was in favour a the time because they then agreed with that one!

Perfectly normal, BUT if you are on slimming World are you sure you haven't inadvertently changed their "normal" meals in the process. Also sure you can pretty much live on fish fingers chips and peas so don't overdo the "healthy" bin feeding.

Hi OP,
It's so common at this age for them to get really fussy about food. i read somewhere that it's because they've rached the biological stage where technically they can run away from you and survive for a short time alone, so to increase the chance of success at surviving they are less inquisitive about food and only eat what they are very very familar with.

I agree with your mum, actually. They can survive on simple food: fish fingers, chicken nuggets (you can get organic ones from the supermarket if that feels better) spaghetti hoops, pizza slices etc.
Add small bowls of fresh stuff they don;t mind, such as chunks of bana, pear or apple, cucumber or carrot. Tell them that the stuff in bowls is what will make them big and strong.

Then make some sweet stuff that's highly nutritious. I used to make mini muffins from soya and almond flours, with loads of egg, mashed banana etc inside and cream cheese frosting on top.

You can also buy abidec drops and put that in their milk or juice.

It won't last. Keep showing interest in a variety of healthy foods which you eat in front of them with great enjoyment and let them taste stuff from your plate if they want to.

@howabout only with things like swapping to lean mince instead, we already ate pretty well, but i've just had to cut out snacks rather than changing our actual meals

Ignore your mum, stick to your guns. Continue to serve the food you want to. You have to think of this as a long game, don't focus on the micro view. If you follow your mums advice and limit their diet to just what you know they will eat then you will very quickly reduce their exposure to other things and their repertoire will become small very quickly and they will be less likely to try new things.
As others have said, mix it up, make sure there is variety and also something in each meal they will eat. It does not matter if they reject half of it. It's soul destroying at times but you just have to say, ok you don't have to eat it and scrape it in the bin.
My two are 5 and 2. We are having stir fry tonight and i know this is dodgy territory for both of them, but I'm not worried as they eat breakfast and lunch and yesterday they ate well with a roast dinner. They arent going to waste away from eating poorly at one meal.

My mother used to tell the story of how as a 3 year old I started refusing food. I don't know how long it went on for, but probably only a day or two, when I ate a small tin of Ambrosia creamed rice. And then that's all I would eat for another few days, along with toast. A kind neighbour popped round with a small tin of another brand of rice - which I refused as I could see from the label it was different. My mother raised 5 children and I was the only fussy one (youngest) but she was always outwardly calm and unbothered with my nieces and nephews when they became fussy. She used to say that no toddler would voluntarily starve itself, and there is always something they will eat.

In that case it's just normal and they're likely to outgrow it quicker given you have cut out snacking. Mine won't eat fishfingers and I love them

Twins here as well, my advice is to give all your attention to the twin that is eating (if one is...) and ignore the one not eating.
I just did «oh well, you don’t have to eat it, but there is nothing else», keeping in mind that a meal is at least 4-5 different items so no chance that there is a genuine dislike of all items all of a sudden.
This works really well, even now that mine as 4.5yo!

heard the other day that fish fingers are environmentally friendly in that because they are mixed fish they don't endanger supplies of cod etc :)

Best bit of advice I got when mine were small and fussy was

«It’s your job to offer them nutritious food.... but it’s not your job to make them eat it»

Also there is nowt wrong with keeping it simple. As long as your offering them a combination of fresh foods from all food groups then they don’t have to be different everyday. It’s only comparatively recently that human’s have had such a huge amount of choice of food to eat.

I'm going to slightly go against the grain here.

I have twins and I vividly remember this stage, and the bit before it.

Whilst the 'don't make it a battleground' advice makes good common sense, personally I stuck to my guns quite firmly on food, on the principle that DTs can basically make anything a battleground - attention, sleep, toys, you name it! - so I was at least going to get some damn nutrition into them!

(3yo DD actually made drinking water a battleground instead, and I HAD to see that one through because she was going to give herself a UTI or kidney infection)

I did always make sure there was something on the plate they'd eat, but I did keep serving things they said they didn't like as well. For DS that was chicken - he claimed he hated it. These days he'd eat half a roast given a chance.

But there would always be peas/bread or similar.

The other thing I would do is say 'eat that then you can have the next thing' but actually the something else might be cheese/crackers/cucumber or fruit & yoghurt or raisins & nuts etc rather than a 'treat' pudding. Sometimes they would end up having 3 different 'courses' but they'd be getting lots of nutrition in rather than one big over-facing main plate.

Good luck. You do need nerves of steel and a cupboard full of gin with 20yo twins regardless of what approach you take!

And with twins, if all else fails, try making it a game competition

When my ds was at nursery I would pick him up and be told he ate very well and loved the xxx that was served.

A few days later I would give him xxx and he would act like I'd put a plate of toxic waste in front of him.

It's annoying, but they do get through it. My technique was to offer something new alongside something he would definitely eat and hope for the best. Apparently it takes 10 goes for a new food to be accepted, so keep trying.

(not big pieces of nuts at 20mo obviously)

I remember for a whole 6 months all my cousin would eat at that age was sausage mash and gravy .. nothing else and would only drink Orange squash. But after that she went back to eating more they just put 1 extra thing on the side of her plate and waited for her to eat it before trying other things

My toddler is 20 months old and is going through a fussy stage. He used to be a great eater but definitely has preferences at the moment and refuses anything that resembles a vegetable!

A few times a week, he has something like pasta with tomato sauce (with lots of hidden veggies and fresh herbs) which he'll demolish. And he's still good with porridge, lots of fruit and yoghurt so having some goodness and he's thriving so I'm not too bothered. We offer him the same as us. If he wants it, he can, if not then leave it. I'm not making a big deal. He always has fruit and yoghurt after dinner which he'll always eat so at least he's eating something.

Try not to stress. I think most children go through stages. Have fish fingers once a week, rest of the time just make a meal and offer him some. He'll probably start picking at different foods soon enough. :)

My 2 year old would quite happily live off chips if we let her. Chips and dairylea. Oh and yogurt. The only way and I mean ONLY way we can get veg in her is out of a purée pouch. It's not a sensory thing, she will eat other foods of a similar texture. This way veg goes in one way or another so I'm chalking it up as a win. The whole veg is on offer. One day she may even eat it.

We offer a variety of foods alongside stuff we know she will eat, if she try's it, bonus, if she doesn't then we chalk it up to experience. I used to get so worked up about her eating, it was becoming a nightmare every meal time. It's been a long road but I am much more relaxed about it now. The options are there. I can't force feed her. She's not starving. I just have to hope this is one of those 'this too shall pass phases'.

Give them something they will eat. Don't try to persuade them. Never make a fuss about it, never feed them between (esp before) meals, never feed them after they refuse to eat. They soon get it.

I have nearly ten year old twins OP - I feel your pain!

Personally I’d just give them what you know they’ll eat for now, introduce bits and pieces but with no obligation to eat - so fish fingers with buttered bread and some peas on the side. Just a few, as they grow up and mature a bit they’ll try stuff more willingly.

Mine eat totally fine now btw and will try anything.

I would keep the chocolate away though - no need for Nutella and mousse and a freddo!