AIBU to be going insane at home with baby

[winterblu]

I think I just need to vent really as no one else to talk to. I am a SAHM with a one year old. I love my child to pieces but I feel so low at the moment and that I have completely lost myself. Does anyone have any tips to get rid of this feeling? I'm so sick of looking terrible all the time and my head is full of things I should be doing around the house. I didn't used to be like this! My DD is ill at the moment and I have literally only spoken to my DH since Thursday as she is contagious - I feel like I am slowly going mad.

You need to get out of the house 100% and maybe do something for yourself like a haircut or shopping for something to wear? Ignore the house for now. How long is your daughter likely to be ill?

prioritise taking the time to do whatever you need to do to feel better. If that's putting on a face of makeup then do it. Set really small, realistic targets. So not, 'clean living room' but maybe just 'put dirty cups in the dishwasher.' Really break it down. Is there any way you can go for a walk in fresh air? As long as you don't go where there are lots of people and dc stays in the pram you might be ok, depending on what the illness is.

You can get through this.

Does your DD have the same nap everyday? My one year old always sleeps around 12-2 So I try to find something to do most mornings whether it's playgroup or just walking the dog to get out. As for housework I just try to do little bits everyday and DS will just follow me around.

I know exactly how you feel OP. Exactly what PP has said, set yourself small tasks so you don't feel overwhelmed and take some time for yourself. I find that having a shower and putting make up on whilst DD naps gives me time to feel more like my pre baby self. Making yourself look good can drastically improve your mood and make you feel a lot more human. Can DH look after your DC at some point and you could maybe do something for yourself? Even if it's just going for a child free shop.

join twitter and look for #mumsquad and #patfrat. keeps me sane to know im not alone...

YANBU Completely normal feeling and reaction. Agree with pp about trying to prioritise yourself.

I know, it's a very frustrating time when the DC's so small but it won't be forever! In the meantime, try to get out in the fresh air every day if you can.

The only thing that helped me was going to work so I had something for myself again. I totally can relate to losing yourself when you’re stuck at home alone with children and the only adult you converse with is your partner. I started to become resentful that he was communicating with endless people at work so knew I had to go back. It saved me, I really felt stir crazy at home all day with squawking toddlers and CBeebies. I don’t think it’s healthy, you need something that’s for you.

If returning to work isn’t viable I would recommend finding a hobby, going to the gym, meeting up with a friend weekly whilst your DH looks after DC in the evening. It’s important you make time for yourself. During the day try and get out, go to toddler groups in the area or swimming. If you stay indoors alone with your DC too long you will lose your mind.

Blow dry your hair in the morning (this seems to make me feel more normal) and get outside!

When she's better can you do some baby classes to chat to some other mums? X

It's very hard being at home with small dc.
Have you any friends with dc a similar age? Are there any clubs or classes you could join?

Do you get any time for yourself?

Oh god it's so brutal. DD was an areshole too and only napped in 17 min chunks. So I never got 'time to myself'.

I stayed sane(ish) by getting out the house every single day, make appointments with friends & family. Look up as many local groups as you can. Go for a walk every day - even in bad weather. The fresh air will help you both and the endorphins can only help.

It is really hard but does get better lovely.

I hear you OP I’m in similar position. Me and my son are both ill at the moment, so can’t take him to baby groups and what not.

Usually I find getting us both out in the day helps a lot. There are plenty baby groups around here to go to where I can chat to other mums.

His naps are a bit all over the place, I try to do the washing up and tidying when he is asleep but some days I don’t even get half an hour and it’s tiring. When he is awake he is clingy and I have to make lunch with him hanging on to the back of my legs moaning at me!

I pop him in the bath with me when I shower now. I put the plug in so he doesn’t get cold and give him some bath toys to play with. It’s the only way I can get myself clean without him going off.

Now he is older I’m considering finding a night school course that fits in with my husbands working patterns. I also feel the need to have something more in my life other than being a mum (and hostage to a one year old!)