To think a party won't work?

[Sugarplumdinosaur]

Ok, so it's my DS birthday next weekend. He wants a party, which whilst I'm not opposed to the idea, his friends are proving very difficult to cater for. DS gets on well with just about everyone, and as a result has a very diverse group of friends. I suggested a pool party, that got turned down 1 of his friends can't swim and another 2 don't like to get wet. I suggested the movies, however none of them wanted to see the same movie. I suggested ten pin bowling but one of the boys has sensory issues and won't come. I suggested a games night, but 1 of the friends is severely dyslexic plus adhd and feels too intimidated so won't come.

Ds doesn't want anyone to be left out but I've run out of ideas. Does anyone here have any good ideas that would cater to all the boys? Ages range from 10-13. Also, the party would have to be gluten/dairy/sugar/preservative/meat free cater to all the boys various allergies/dietry restrictions. I miss the days when soft play and cake was acceptable!

Can you do the ten pin bowling and have the boy with the sensory issues over separately? Given you're planning on having them all over individually at some point anyway.

Let him have his pool party. People who don't like swimming can still come along and sit on the edge/dangle their feet in and be part of the event. It's a life skill to learn that not every event is going to cater for your own particular quirks. My work has a party every term with a karaoke machine. I don't want to do karaoke because I can't sing, but I can sit quietly with a drink and clap when everyone else has a turn. If the friends can't make the effort to attend what your DS wants to do on his birthday, then they really aren't friends at all.

I suggested the movies, however none of them wanted to see the same movie.

I would go with the movie as it seems the least controversial. It is really bratty of these kids to say no to a movie just because it's not a film they're dying to see. They're not going to turn down a chance to go to the cinema due to the film choice.

I can understand the ones with the sensory issues and the one who can't swim, but I don't understand the ones who think they can dictate what someone else does for their birthday purely because of their own preferences.

I think you need to teach your child that he's being lovely wanting to include everyone, but that life doesn't always work like that and you need to adapt and make hard decisions and pick one that will appeal to him and most of the people.

Could you do an activity followed by them coming to your house/a sleepover for those that would be okay with it, so that those who aren’t okay with whatever activity you decide aren’t left out?

Don't give the friends a choice. Let your ds decide what he wants to do then go with whoever accepts the invitation. Some will turn it down for various reasons but some will happily join in.

Library visit? Dry, quiet, they can all choose a different book...

they are being bratty and he is being far too accommodating. people will walk over him if he carries on like this.

Why does spd exclude bowling? Is it the noise? Could he wear ear defenders?

Ds's best friend is autistic, and doesn't enjoy things that ds's NT friends would do. So DS always does two things for his birthday which includes everyone.
Having heard how his friend very, very rarely gets invited to anything, and how he will try and deal with an environment that distressed him as he wants to be included so much, I can't imagine excluding him

Cinema- but your DS picks the film HE wants to see and they have the manners to sit through it. They can pick another film another time!

There is a large indoor soft plays near us- ones which are made for adults as much as children and actually have ‘adults only’ sessions. They have slides that any self respecting 10-14 year old would LOVE and one slide in particular that even I (a 25 year old) won’t go down!

However, it’s a soft play and therefore safe for everyone. I would also suggest going to a zoo, theme park or even a museum (a fun one)!

No one denies the idea of a pool party ideas can be a great fun. Where the children can enjoy splashing around the pool with the friends. While planning for a pool party, make sure that proper fences are installed for the safety of the children. If not installed, one can discover this site to install the proper fencing for the safety of children.

How about a home takeaway meal?