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AIBU?

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To not forgive myself

3 replies

sabrinalopez · 19/11/2018 01:11

When I was 15 (I am 36 now) I got a babysitting job for the sister of my mums work friend who lived just up the road. I can only describe it as wanting to have the things my friends did (we didn't have much money) and I am so ashamed but I used to steal from her. Things like half used bottles of perfume and nice tops.

I must have been so obvious because she knew. She called my parents one night after a few weeks and told them. They were upset but told me not to worry if would be okay. They were very supportive. She turned (understandably) nasty and said she would be calling the police as I was a little thieving bitch who must have been selling the clothes as I was too fat to fit into them. My dad thinking he would be doing the right thing took me to the police station but was thinking I would get a telling off bless him but I (rightly so) got a formal interview and a caution with fingerprinting etc. My poor mum (although she never told me) left her job shortly afterwards because she must have felt so uncomfortable. They were incredible parents and told me I had suffered for my mistake (I cried myself to sleep for months and had awful anxiety that people would find out) never to do that anything like that again and if I wanted nice things I could ask them.

My mum passed away this year and I sat here thinking tonight how much I must have let her down. I cared for her in her final years and we were very close, she didn't ever bring it up afterwards but I just feel like such a little shit for putting her through that, personally and how she must have felt at work. It's weighing heavily on my soul tonight.

OP posts:
Unicyclethief · 19/11/2018 01:19

Who you are today is not who you were at 15. We all make mistakes, especially when we are 15, don’t beat yourself up.

Shriek · 19/11/2018 01:21

DC are little shits! We love em loads anyway, and you had a very special relationship with yours.

She forgives you clearly.. You must forgive yourself. This was over half your life-time ago..you must go of it.

Sad for your obviously very dear loss. She loves you a d wouldn't want you distressed about this that's clear!

Flowers
ohfourfoxache · 19/11/2018 01:23

There is no getting away from the fact that what you did was wrong. But the crucial point is, would you do it again? That’s rhetorical btw, anyone reading your post knows the answer.

You were 15, made a mistake and you learned from it x

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