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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Clutter of toys giving me anxiety

35 replies

toyoverload · 18/11/2018 16:05

I know I will sound ridiculous but I feel like I spend my life clearing up the house after my husband and my son (who is only one). I have periods of anxiety and as a SAHM all I see every day is clutter and things to clean. My husband goes completely overboard in buying toys for DS and our living room is full of them. I don't think he understands how much it gets to me but all I see is mess and I feel like I can't breathe sometimes. I just want to feel relaxed at home in the evenings.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

OP posts:

UpstartCrow · 18/11/2018 16:07

Yes. Now we have piles of stacking crates which is slightly better.

Neonrainbow · 18/11/2018 16:07

Yep! Toddler twins here and their stuff is EVERYWHERE! Drives me insane. I'm training myself not to care because everything they do seems to be designed to make more mess every minute of the day.

Jackshouse · 18/11/2018 16:08

Yes but we are lucky enough to have a playroom so I can close the door on all the toys.

But I struggle to function if the house is messy.

DahliaDiver · 18/11/2018 16:08

Yes, I understand. You need good storage and ideally a toy-free room to relax in. In another year you can get the child to tidy up themselves at the end of the day!

JimmyJones · 18/11/2018 16:09

Yes, I absolutely know what you mean. I don't have any practical advice, but I'm familiar with the feeling you describe.

You're not alone, there are plenty of people who have the same experience.

Original poster

toyoverload · 18/11/2018 16:10

I am actually sitting in our lounge feeling like I can't breathe surrounded by toys and washing hanging up. It does my head in - I feel like my DH is immune to it!

OP posts:

peachgreen · 18/11/2018 16:12

Yes. We always spend 10 minutes every day tidying them up completely so we can relax in a tidy space in the evening. Helps me cope with it during the day as I know it's temporary.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 18/11/2018 16:12

I’m not even that houseproud but I have anxiety dreams about the state of DS’s room. It’s not that messy but it is FULL of toys and clutter.

DH is adamant he doesn’t have too much and won’t let me get rid of anything. Tbh is the rest of the house is almost as bad but my front room is my minimalist sanctuary.

CSIblonde · 18/11/2018 16:14

I know exactly what you mean. Clutter makes my teeth itch. Plastic crates. Charity shop anything not played with in 6months.

Strippervicar · 18/11/2018 16:15

You need one of these. www.argos.co.uk/product/7190425

And also, enforce a rule that if DC move onto something else, the previous toy goes back in the box.

SpockPaperScissorsLizardRock · 18/11/2018 16:19

If you have netflix then watch Consumed. Given me a good kick up the bum to declutter!

TimesNewRoman · 18/11/2018 16:25

Yes I used to feel like I was actually drowning. Had a big chuck out and organise, feel much better but I know I need to keep on top of it.

I think you should have a proper chat with DP and explain how you feel. There are only so many toys DC can play with and at this age it will get much worse. When people ask what DC wants for Christmas, politely say no toys.
Put your foot down, get some bags down to the charity shop and buy some storage.

I feel your pain with the laundry too. I need to do a load every single day and put away yesterday's. If I don't make time for this everyday it's just laundry chaos. Please ask your DH for help too. Good luck.

Di11y · 18/11/2018 16:36

I rotate toys so have 3 small boxes out which all the toys fit into at the end of the day (and a pushchair in front) and the rest are either in her room or the toy box

autumndear · 18/11/2018 16:39

I know exactly how you feel. DD has taken to pulling cushions off the chair as well. I feel like it's a never ending cycle of cleaning and tidying up after her. DP just can't understand why I can't relax until DDs toys are put away and everything is tidy. To him it can all be done "later" but I get so anxious knowing there's mess or toys lying around in the lounge.

RangeRider · 18/11/2018 16:39

Storage boxes & trips to charity shops are your friends....
(Hiding DH's credit card would also work)

Dontgiveamonkeys1350 · 18/11/2018 16:40

My anxiety is always worse when my house is messy. I don’t have small children only one teenager but still.

A tidy house is a tidy mind. I totally believe this. Clutter and things out of place make my head ache and makes me anxious.

I’m at home most of the time on my own and due to medical problems I only have so much energy and non pain time to keep it tidy. But I do and it really helps.

DemToes · 18/11/2018 16:41

I know the feeling. Have had the same feeling for the past few day. Tidied up the mass if toys yesterday evening and now I feel much better, even though they are mostly out again I just feel so much better when they are tidied away.

Also agreed with rotating toys around so they don't get bored.

User0ne · 18/11/2018 16:42

I'm another one that rotates toys; especially ones with lots of pieces arrrgh!

silkpyjamasallday · 18/11/2018 16:45

Like a PP, DP and I have started watching Consumed on Netflix, it's eye opening. There are a few hoarders in my family, I worry about going the same way and us moving three times in 18 months has meant we have lived with boxes of crap cluttering our homes for too long. I've started getting rid of stuff and it is such a good feeling.

Neonrainbow · 18/11/2018 16:46

I might watch consumed too if it might be helpful.

Louiselouie0890 · 18/11/2018 17:13

95% are in his room, if he brings some down some toys go up. It's never more than the box in the corner of the room

Aquamarine1029 · 18/11/2018 17:23

Any kind of clutter makes me very anxious and miserable. I keep my home tidy at all times so I understand your pain. Lots of people have give you great advise so I hope it works for you. I would have a very serious talk with your husband about all the tat he buys. It's such a waste. Perhaps take that money and start a holiday savings account instead? Also, a storage ottoman for your lounge would be perfect for keeping toys.

Zimbabwebadgers · 18/11/2018 17:27

Have you tried toy rotation? Pack as much away as you can and then keep a certain number of toys out available for your dc, then swap them around each week. It's also good for weeding out what toys aren't interesting your dc and you can get rid of them.

Fatted · 18/11/2018 17:34

I used to feel like this. I felt like I had no space in my own home and couldn't move for plastic tat my kids didn't play with. I had a huge cull of toys when youngest was around 18 months and steadily since then I've been gradually clearing out the clutter. I've just had a big clear out of the last of the baby-ish stuff.

It gets easier as the kids get older because toys are smaller and easier to store. We have a toy box/bench now for the front room and got some decent storage for the kids room as well.

You do have to be ruthless about toys. Especially when they get older because they're at school all day and don't play with as much.

Blueblueyellow · 18/11/2018 17:41

Oh Op,feeling like that right now,I want to cry.I get really anxious about having too much stuff and plastic crap.To top it off a well meaning neighboor who has a dc a few months older than mine dropped in a huge bag of clothes her dc no longer needs.Dp took it in.I hate having stuff everywhere.And I feel you about the clothes horse, I loath it.

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