Handholding needed...marriage break up

[definitelymaybe8]

This is the situation, posting here for traffic, may be difficult for me to respond.

I am 56, DH 46, on DD 22 at home studying PGCE. DH has MH issues and we have had a sexless marriage for the last 11 years.
I have had issues during this time with both parents dying with dementia and also my disabled brother died 2 years ago. I Inherited my parents house which has been rented the last 3 years, we also own our family house outright.
Last week a row escalated because my DH called my DD a ‘f***g prostitute’ after sleeping with a guy on the 3rd date, he asked did I want to split and I actually said yes. I am in shock, he’s devastated and I think the plan is for me to go back to my inherited home early next year. He relies on me for absolutely everything so I feel so bad, tell me I am doing the right thing….

You are 100% doing the right thing. He's supposed to be an equal not a 2nd child.

Oh love as difficult as it must be, you are doing the right thing. You’re putting your daughter first and yourself first, at last. You’re being very brave. You’ve supported him and his mh problems for a long time, you’re not duty bound to stay with him because of that.

You are being totally reasonable.His mental health problems are his and you have helped for long enough.Also good fir standing up for your daughter.
You need to see a solicitor when you've got you're breath back.
I was there just over 2years ago,also 56 in a loveless marriage and a dd.I am in a much better place now and slowly rebuilding my life.Take care of your dd to as she has been watching what us happening for over 11 years.

You're not alone OP. It's hard isn't it. But being in a shit marriage is hard too. At least seperating might have a happy ending.

My stupid brain still waivers. Despite the horrid relationship I had.

You need to grieve the future wishes and hopes you might of had. (Retirement plans, shared family experiences etc etc) and accept they won't happen.

Good news! - a new real happy future replaces all that.

Best of luck OP