To think a feeling is not the same as preference? (Sex of baby)

[Chocolateheaven123]

I already have a son and am expecting our second child next year. When I was pregnant last time, we wanted to keep the sex a surprise but I had an inkling that he was a boy. This time around, I've had a very, very strong feeling from the very beginning that it's a girl. Obviously I could be wrong but I'd be shocked if it came out a boy.

Recently talking to a friend and told her that I'm pregnant again. She can be quite opinionated at times but we muddle along well. Anyway, she asked if we were finding out the gender this time. I said no, we don't want to but I'm sure it's a girl. She then replied that I obviously want a girl this time around. When I asked what she meant, she became very insistent that I clearly want a girl this time around as I'm so sure it's a girl

She couldn't actually explain what she meant but kept saying 'its obvious'. She knows full well that this is our last and o absolutely did not care what we had the first time. I've actually mentioned in previous conversations that I don't understand having a preference for a certain sex. I would be absolutely thrilled to bits if we had another boy, or a girl. We've always wanted two children, no matter what their sex (my partner strongly feels the same). A lot of people around me usually say they'd love a girl. I honestly don't understand it but thats my opinion on this matter which I tend to keep to myself. The only thing I say is that I don't care what we have, whenever people ask if we're finding out the sex/what do we think it is/ etc.

I've just had a strong feeling this time that it's a girl. AIBU to think a feeling is NOT the same as a preference?

If you know you don't have a preference, then end of story. I don't know why it's bothering you, why it's even an issue? She's a silly woman to keep harping on about it.

YANBU. I knew DD was a girl before the 20 week scan when we had it confirmed. I also just knew she’d be born early, not premature, but I knew I wouldn’t get to 40 weeks. She was born at exactly 39 weeks.

I agree the two are totally different.
My first was a girl which I was happy either way.
My second I wanted a girl because I knew what to do with a girl and was absolutely terrified it's would be different parenting a boy.
But I knew in my heart he was a boy.
(And of course I love him to peices. I was just scared of the unknown)

YANBU they are two different things. I had a (very slight) preference for a boy when we decided to start trying to conceive but the second I found out I was pregnant I just knew she was a girl and that was confirmed at a 16 week scan.

YANBU, although I was convinced DD2 was a boy.

When I had DS I was absolutely convinced that I was having a boy (this was over 20 years ago when being told the sex of a baby wasn't routine).

This feeling wasn't a preference ex-h and I had both boys and girls names planned all I wanted was a healthy baby. I'd have been equally delighted with a boy or a girl.

Yes, the two are very different. As for your friend's theory, I think people are more likely to do the opposite in my experience. They have a strong feeling it's a girl because they really want a boy and they are trying to manage their expectations.

I'm not saying this is the case with you though. And it sounds like a non issue tbh - you don't have a preference and that's that!

YANBU. I have 2 boys and girl and I'm pregnant. I'm only 12 wks, but I am positive that it's a boy and I can hand on heart assure you that I have no preference.

Completely agree with bird - I had/ have a strong preference for a girl and when things just kept going wrong with pregnancy/birth I used to think I just bet it’s going to be a boy as well

I tossed a coin and JUST KNEW it would be a head that came up.

"I just knew" is total and utter nonsense.

You had a 50/50 chance, and it went in your favour.

Anyone who says they have an inkling or idea of the sex of their baby is lying. There is no such thing. They are sometimes proved right, and sometimes wrong, end of.

I think she is being U to tell you how you feel. If you say you don't have a preference, then you don't.

But I do understand her point of view. You can't possibly KNOW what sex your baby is. You can think you do and you have a 50% chance of being right. But you it's still just a feeling and not a fact. So I suppose someone could interpret that as a subconscious desire for a particular sex.

I was convinced I was having a boy during my pregnancy, dreamt about him, could picture him so clearly. I had a girl ( and wouldn't change her for anything).

I knew in my heart ds2 was a girl. Or not, as the case may be.

when things just kept going wrong with pregnancy/birth I used to think I just bet it’s going to be a boy as well

Wow.

I was sure DD was a boy before 20 week scan. So sure every scan after (I had a lot) I made them double check because I was sure they must be wrong.

Maybe she thinks this is your subconscious expressing a preference?

Oh and I didn’t even entertain the idea that my first child would be a girl but that’s probably because I really didn’t want one.

My sister knew I was having a boy, my friend knew I was having a girl both knew from the way I was carrying my baby weight. At 37 weeks pregnant I had a dream that my baby was a Cornish pixie (like my keyring) one of us was right - luckily not me!

I think people have a tendency to believe what they want is what is true. Seems as good an explanation as any other about how you "know" the sex.

YANBU. Of course a feeling is entirely different to a preference.
However feelings aren't always 100% right. I was beyond convinced I was having a boy. I'd have confidentially gambled my 6 winning lottery numbers. Please don't get me wrong. I wasn't bothered (no point being is there, you get what you're given) It
was just a strong feeling I had.
I could picture every thing. The blue cards and flowers around my bed. Him starting school. My mum phoning around
" Spider has had a baby boy".
I could just never visualise life with a Daugher. Even after she was born.
I kept expecting the Midwives to say.
We made a mistake sorry. Its not a girl. its a boy.

The two things are different, but YABU to think your feeling is accurate. You have a fifty fifty chance of being right they're fairly good odds. I was convinced this baby was a girl, just felt it in my gut, picked a name etc. We did find out at the 20 week scan, it's a boy.
DN is three, she confidently said her mum was having a little sister and I was having a boy, she was right, she's not psychic. SILs best friend is due same time as me DN said she's having a girl, she's since found out she's having a boy. Feelings/instincts mean nothing in reality, sometimes your guess is right sometimes wrong.

Yanbu; they are different things.

My friend had this with her dc2 though. She was so sure it was a girl from the moment she found out she was pregnant. She thought they’d made a mistake when they said her ds2 was a ds. She didn’t have a preference though, just a very strong (incorrect) feeling that it was a girl!

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I referred to bump as "He/Him" I couldn't explain why but the feeling was very strong. I had a boy. My friend thought the same, she was having a boy and she has a girl. I had a very smooth pregnancy. No issues. So cannot understand why someone would think that indicates male.