Wasn't sure how to title this but want views as to whether IABU? My bestie is a widow - lovely outgoing person in her mid 40s & truly deserves someone special. She's been this relationship 1yr & she's planning to move in with him with her 2 teenage DD. I've met him briefly once - nothing I can put my finger on but my gut screamed no. He has grown up kids and is almost 60 but has very 'fixed ideas' (old fashioned) - we both have friends across the age spectrum and they are all great fun so it's not an age thing. He doesn't drive so she has to, he complains about her job as it involves a lot of driving & is male dominated. He is content to spend most evenings at the local pub & wants her to join him - they met there. He doesn't seem to like her going out with friends for the evening- think along the lines of 'oh but aren't your girls out - you can't really have them staying at friends' if she wants to go out vut its fine if he wants to do something. Shes finding fault with lots of people she has been close to. We catch up when we can, but I can't help seeing red flags with this. A male friend asked my what I thought of him & I sidestepped the answer. He & his wife were concerned. They felt that this man seemed unable to socialise (they are similar ages) & that it would cause our friend to spend less time with friends - these aren't budget types either. Theres a xmas social with a group we worked with, lots of whom are now retired, which we alway try to get to. She's going but needs to leave at 8 (shes always late and & won't be there til 7 earliest) & I flippantly said you won't be leaving 1sq mile of where you live at this rate - it didn't go down well....... just a bit concerned that his small minded views are rubbing off & her 'world ' is getting smaller. Not too sure how to broach it with her without offending or hurting her. We've been close for 20yrs.