AIBU to wish hairdressers wouldn't talk to me

[hdh747]

I'm actually a bit phobic about going to the hairdressers. Not because I'm worried they will cut it wrong or anything, I'm really quite relaxed about that, it'll grow again. But because I really hate being bombarded with questions.
Something like, 'where are you going on holiday this year?' might seem innocuous, but if you never go on holiday for difficult personal reasons you don't necesserily want to share that with your hairdresser, and anyone else who is in the salon. If they took the hint at my minimal, non-commital responses that would be fine. But no, they change tack and ask you something else. And it goes on and on like a ruddy job interview. It's not that I can't fully answer these questions, but I don't want to when I'm having my hair cut.
I really just want to relax, quietly, and have my hair cut.
I really need a polite way to say, 'please shut up and cut' without causing offence or having to spend the time explaining/justifying it.

I agree, I've just tried hairdressers until I found one that took the hint

Take a book with you and pull it out at the very beginning when they pop off to mix colour or make tea. I sometimes like a chat and sometimes would rather not, I find the book technique works very well as a signal

I find it very nerve wracking &I I panic at simple innocuous questions for no reason.
I've found that taking a book can help. I focus on the book, explain that it's lovely to get time to read for a few hours. They seem to get the picture.

Take a book, and say that you aren't feeling very talkative.

I take a book too! It does help a lot...and then when asked questions I answer politely but don't invite any further conversation (I.e. I don't ask them anything back), and they always get the hint.

So yeah, take a book or magazine, get them out immediately after the 'consultation' bit and then say how you've had such a busy week you've been looking forward to the appointment to relax and read your book/magazines. Nose straight into them.

Job done.

Mmm, I love the book idea but unfortunately, being partially sighted, I wouldn't be able to read it without taking various aids, which doesn't really work in the setting of a hairdresser's chair. But thank you for the suggestion.

I don't like going to the hairdressers either and I suspect it is because of this, also I cannot hear very well when there is background noise, so really struggle.

I've been going to the same stylist for years so we know each other really well and chat a lot but he always asks me what I'm doing the rest of the day after I leave the salon and as its usually, nothing but going home and doing boring stuff I wish he'd stop asking.
The thing that does irritate me is when I answer the phone to cold callers selling something they start by asking me how I am today. I know it's just being polite but I wish they would just say Hi, this is whoever calling from wherever and get to the point.
Of course their aim is to get you on side so you are less likely to hang up so I've started telling them exactly how I am today.

A hairdresser once told me she had been banned from ASDA for fighting. She was cutting my hair hair, at the time. She seemed really nice.

I stopped going to the hairdressers years ago because I couldn't find one that didn't talk incessantly. Even saying I've got a hangover and can't chat didn't work.
I learnt to cut my own hair via YouTube. The only downside is I have to keep it at shoulder length at least. But cutting your own hair is easy if you have it long. Lots of videos out there.
Would using a maximised mirror allow you to do this maybe.
You could say you had work to listen to and stick earphones on while they cut the back and front, even though it's music.
If cutting it yourself is not an option then headaches etc.
I feel for you. I just loath the inane chat so after going to every hairdresser in the city I have given up.

I would just say that you hope they don't mind but you like to zone out and relax while your hair is done, rather than chat.

They will probably like the break from having to make convo as well. I expect that's an exhausting part of the job.

I hate going to the hairdresser because of this. I've only ever found one naturally silent hairdresser and I really enjoyed having my hair cut by him.

If I was stuck with a chatty hairdresser, I just started asking them the same questions. Sometimes, you learn some interesting things about them.

KC
That made me laugh out loud !

"I would just say that you hope they don't mind but you like to zone out and relax while your hair is done, rather than chat."

In that case I would just do this ^^

My regular one doesn’t talk to me! I’m quite happy with that. To be honest I don’t mind the small talk if they’re pleasant but it depends - I ask them questions too!

This is what I hate about the hairdressers, it's meant to be a relaxing, pampering experience!

They will take your lead. If you have a book, iPad or magazine they will just get on with it. They really aren’t that interested in small talk with you. But they are meant to be personable and they also need to get to know you and your likes. It helps with the styling.

I couldn’t be arsed to go to the hairdressers for 2 years for this reason. Luckily my hair is one length anyway, so it didn’t make much difference.

Nerves aside, it’s just really awkward shouting ‘yes I work an office, no I’ve nothing planned for the weekend’ over all the hairdryers.

I finally went to one and she seemed as uninterested as me. You could see she was forcing the small talk. She asked the typical questions in a monotonous voice and just stared into space, I don’t think she even noticed when I just agreed with everything she said. Bliss.

A really good hairdresser will be able to pick up on your vibe in my opinion, and respectfully not try to chat at you. It’s taken me YEARS to find a hairdresser like this. Sometimes I would bring a book, sometimes I’d keep my responses short and sweet. Not rude, just not super engaging. My best hairdressers have always been men and I do wonder if it’s because, extremely generally speaking, they aren’t as interested in the small talk.

I used to be a hairdresser. I would just say that you just want to relax in peace. I could usually tell the clients that didn't want to talk and that was fine with me. I didn't always want to talk either.

When you arrive tell them you won't be chatty as you have a huge hangover / migraine

You know what, just reading this and realising it isn't just me has been helpful.
I think next time I go I'm just going to say I love relaxing which I have my hair cut, and close my eyes and snooze.
If that doesn't work I'm going to actually tell my HD that I don't go much (it has been asked) because of my phobia about answering questions and how surprised I was to find quite a few other ladies are the same. Might even be doing him a favour, as he's regularly not all booked up.
Thank you. :)

I also hate checkout assistants in supermarkets asking about your day or what you're up to that evening. I think they should have a 'no small talk' check out for people like me.

As for the cold callers, who ring and ask who I am, I now ask, 'who are you please and what do you want?' and if it's the usual bollox I just hang up. I used to feel I was being rude doing this, after all the poor bugger in the shit job is just following their script. Now I think, no I'm just efficiently getting them off the line which is better for both of use since I can get on with my stuff and they can more quickly more onto the next.