Can I fib to get out of today?

[MakingExcuses]

Just started a new job a few weeks ago and my work colleague keeps inviting me and DS (2) to things. Today, we're supposed to go round to hers for dinner.

Trouble is, I'm so tired and could really do with a day inside chilling. Me and DS are both full of cold and he's woke me a few times during the night. He's really fussy atm and probably won't eat much of what she cooks. I'm finding the new job quite stressful (though I do like it), and I just feel like I need some proper time to recharge before tomorrow. Plus I literally don't have a penny until tomorrow and she suggested I bring a bottle of wine for us to share, so I'd look so rude if I couldn't. And it's embarrassing to say why.

WIBU to make up an excuse and cancel? I know MN consensus usually says it is. She is perfectly nice. I'm just a massive introvert so am never happier than when people cancel on me

I would cancel with the excuse that DS is poorly. But them I'm a fellow introvert. So much so that I almost deleted this reply instead of posting it 😂

Yanbu at all. Be vague and don't go into much detail. Then take a step back. It's pretty bizarre behaviour on her part.

You wouldn't be fibbing though would you? Just text an apology - DS is up all night ill and neither of you have slept. Would she mind if you rainchecked as you wouldn't be great company and you would hate to share the virus. Something along those lines? I'd do it sooner rather than later in case she starts cooking.

Cancel!!

But you don’t need to fib?
If you’re both actually full of cold that is - that is a genuine reason.

Otherwise, i would go

Apologise and say DS is too poorly

It isn't a fib. Your ds is poorly. But please don't cancel by text, that is rude.

Another...
Apologise and say DS is too poorly

Everyone needs a chill out day so unless you have form for repeatedly cancelling plans I’d make an excuse

Oh gosh I'd have to cancel too . But do it early, before she's started getting stuff ready for dinner.

Do it now - you’re both unwell and very tired.

I would. You’re full of the cold.

No need to fib. You've both got colds. Text her that! The truth.

I agree. Phone and cancel. Much better to do that than turn up grudgingly with an out of sorts toddler - I only inflict us on my closest mates in that state. Rearrange for later and maybe think about better managing your boundaries so you're only accepting invites you want.

Apart from today, you need to be more assertive and not agree to 'doing things' with her. Practise a good polite refusal for future invites - "Oh I'm so sorry but that doesn't suit." "DS and I will be visiting my parents this weekend"

I'd find it absolutely horrible to be invited anywhere by someone I barely knew, and placed under a compliment. Your weekends and evenings are your own, you spend enough time at work. Surely anyone knows that when you have children your time off work is precious?

If you're both suffering with bad colds it's hardly an excuse - it's a reason - a good reason. You won't enjoy dragging yourselves there and if your friends have any sense they won't want to run the risk of catching your germs either.

Chill out for today and I hope you enjoy your new job.

Cancel and don't feel any guilt. You have a cold and have had a broken night's sleep. Work on saying 'no' to her invitation next time though. I am a fellow introvert too and hate feeling socially obligated!

If you are both genuinely ill then cancel. If you just don't feel like going then you are being rude by cancelling. Why do people say yes to things they know they don't want to do???

You’re both ill. You’re not fibbing. Do it now. Turn down invites in future. TBH that’s a bit odd from a colleague.

Get a bottle of red anyway, nail it then see how you feel. You might perk up.

A million per cent. It's your day off and you need to chill - blame DC being poorly but next time say sorry, you're tied up with family stuff at weekends. It's perfectly acceptable, and if you give in now then you'll have to invite her back and there'll never be an end of it. Sure she is very nice, but you have a 2yo and a busy job and you need some downtime.

Message her asap and say he's been up unwell all night and has a raging temperature so you wont be able to make it.

Earlier the better before she starts to prep food!!!

Surely anyone knows that when you have children your time off work is precious?

So no one should invite anyone with kids to any social event ever?

Another one saying that it's not a fib. You've both got crappy colds & you've not had a good night's sleep. Tell her now & get it over with. And spend the day thinking up reasons why you have to turn down all future invites!

So no one should invite anyone with kids to any social event ever?

Certainly not work colleagues whom you don't know.

jelliebelly
Why do people say yes to things they know they don't want to do???

Because they're pressured, and are too polite to say No.

If I was your host I'd rather you cancelled if you both have heavy colds than risk infecting me.

As numerous PPs have said, it's a perfectly good reason to cancel.

Just do it early on (so she can make other plans) rather than leaving it until later in the day.