To not return the trousers

[hotstepper4]

I share custody of my ds8 with my exh, ex lives a lot closer to ds school and I am a slightly higher earner so ds spends 18 nights with ex and 12/13 nights with me pm. Hence I pay Cs to ex, 162.00 pm.

Ex enrolled ds in Beavers when he was 6, and now he's 8 he's a Cub. I don't mind, ds loves it, although I do get miffed when exh tells me he is going camping on one of my weekends, as I really look forward to my time with him.

Exh has a really bad habit of putting ds in clothes for children years younger than ds. Ds is slim, but not massively so and is easily wearing 7-8 size clothing. I tend to buy all his clothing.

Ds is away with Cubs right now, and when I was putting his uniform on, I saw that the trousers were age 5 abs and I could barely do them up, they were to short and ds was not comfortable in them. I replaced them with a pair of tracksuit bottoms.

Now my exh is fuming with me because I am refusing to return the age 5 trousers, I know that he will force him to wear them again if I do. I told him to go to asda and buy a pair of trousers for his ds that actually fit. He is saying I'm a thief for stealing the trousers.

AIBU?

I would probably replace them with age appropriate school trousers

That's a tough one. Will your ex not listen to your son when he says they aren't comfortable?

If you normally buy clothes, would you not just replace the trousers with the same thing in an appropriate size?

Because I'm fed up with it, I give him money to spend on things like this anyway and I'm sick of seeing ds wearing skin tight clothing that's too short for him whilst exh recycling bin is full of Domino's boxes. His priorities are skewed, normally I would just replace them but I'm sick of him never spending a penny on ds.

Pick most of the stitching out of the butt seam and return them, so when ex tries to wedge them on DS the trousers will tear.
He won't have to wear them again, you returned them, they broke on ex's watch, win win.

Are they the official Scout trousers? They are about £18 new. They are also a big fit, my child is in a 9-10, but in a 11-12 in other clothes. His father might not have realised if they were getting a bit small. If the trousers are uniform then I would offer to pay half.

Sparetime that’s brilliant. You are in the right op, but you have to take strength from knowing that, abs ignoring exdh’s behaviour, you can’t make him spend money on ds.
Saying that I would do what Sparetime suggested.

Your ds will know as he grows up, which parent he can rely on.

Spare time I love that, it's happening 😁

Return old pair
Buy a new pair
Deduct from your usual payment

Please don't destroy the trousers if they are uniform ones. They could be sold to another Scout parent or donated to the group.

Although I'm usually on the side of the mother in all cases I think it's a bit much to care about what food your ex buys. I'd return the trousers, along with a pair of the correct size.

They aren't official scout trousers, ex would never spring for that. They are basic navy trousers that I bought for ds when he was 5.

Well if you bought them, then remind him of that and don't return them.

I wouldn't return them. They are 3 years too small for him which is ridiculous. I would buy a new pair and send those back to exh but as PP suggested I would deduct the amount of the usual CS payment

Seeing as you bought them and they are small enough to be uncomfortable, I wouldn't give them back.

Do you know for sure that your DS's father is putting him in too small clothes all the time though? My DS often takes some slightly too small clothing to camps. That said, it is still warm and comfortable clothing. Things like trousers that are a little short but fine worn with hiking boots, or long sleeve t-shirts that are short in the arms but fine with a fleece on top.

YANBU to keep the trousers, but just buy more if you can afford it (and it sounds you can) as it isn't worth your DS being uncomfortable. There is probably only a few years left before your DS refuses to wear clothes that are too small.