To think this is creepy?

[Cornishsoul]

Namechanged. Recently been on a family holiday. Sister's boyfriend's father was with us. We all stayed at his house after arriving home in the UK(due to long commute home). He is a very kind man and has lived alone for a long time (I say this because I like to think maybe he might just want the company).

That evening I was chatting to him and he said to me he'd like if I visited him, even if it wasn't when my sister and his son were visiting him. He then said 'I'm not looking for a sexual relationship, but the company would be nice and we get along'. Not that this necessarily matters but there is an age gap of over 30 years.

AIBU finding this a bit creepy? I'm in my early 20's

Ugh!

If he hadnt made the "sexual " comment i would think maybe he was lonely.

What was your response?

Not sure really - it would depend a lot on his body language and tone. He may have just been making sure that you didn’t misunderstand or feel uncomfortable about his intentions. But if you felt it was creepy then steer clear of him.

He probably mentioned the no sexual relationship to try and reassure you he wasn't being a creep

You said he is a very kind mind who lives alone, he probably enjoyed having people at his house to talk to, it may have reminded him of what he is missing in life (being around others if he is isolating himself) and since you got on with him, he probably meant no harm and just wanted you to in a pop by for a cuppa and a chat as friends ...that is how I would view it if said to me

*very kind man

It sounds creepy just because he mentioned sexual relationships - it immediately makes it sound as though he might be hoping for that with you! I would feel pretty uncomfortable and not want to see him at all unless there were other people with him.

Creepy. Avoid! It's possible he didn't mean to be dodgy but it's just inappropriate either way.

Meh.

Avoid.

It’s hard to gauge this, you should go with your instincts.

Its hard to say without being there, but I think with the age you are it was creepy. Less suspicious perhaps if you were 40s and him 65+ but, early 20s.. the odds strongly suggest creepy :(

What would you have in common? What would be in it for you? He can't really think this is normal.

I have given older men the benefit of the doubt in situations a bit like this, and with most it turned out that they were hiding decidedly non platonic thoughts. Maybe the other men hid it better. Who knows.

Very, very creepy and totally inappropriate. The fact that he tried to qualify his "intentions" is a huge red flag.

Yes it's creepy. Trust your instincts.

If you have a feeling it's creepy, then it is creepy. I had a similar experience years ago. I made excuses until he gave up inviting me to spend time with him.

He mentioned no sexual relationship precisely BECAUSE HE WANTS ONE.

NO other reason to mention it.

AVOID and tell your sister why.

If he hadn't have said sexual, it'd be fine. He's probably kicking himself for saying it - I hope he is!

My friend's dad used to walk his dog by our house. He'd keep me chatting for ages, all fine and good, till he started sending letters and dirty poems.

I dreaded leaving the house and would look out of the window to check he wasn't there. He soon got the message and changed his route.

DH found it amusing at first, asked if he wanted him to have a word, I told him I'd deal with it. Come to think about it now, I wonder if he did have a word?? I'm gonna ask him in the morning. Hmmm.

This really would freak me out, but that might be because of my history as an SA survivor. So I realise that my reaction might be OTT. However, I still say you should trust your instincts.

Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was trying to reassure you that he's not a sex pest and maybe he is just lonely but I'd go with your gut instincts.

😂😂😂
Avoid avoid avoid!

If he's lonely, he can go and make some friends of his own age. Not hit on a young woman