Internet dating experiences

[Parisflowers]

Has anyone had any success with internet dating?

I have name changed for this as it's quite embarrassing to admit.

Late 20's, no DCs. Split with my ex earlier this year - he was emotionally abusive and I've had counselling which has helped me realise I'm a bit co-dependent and seem to be attracted to people who are a little narcissistic and just generally get taken advantage of.

I've since been using a few dating sites but I'm having no luck at all. Been on a few dates (one asked how soon I'd want children on the first date! - another asked me to go on holiday with him before we even met but then changed his mind within hours). Met a lovely soldier who after chatting for a few weeks asked to meet me at a hotel but when I said no (i.e I'm not looking for just casual sex) he told me he has no time for a girlfriend and can't commit to anyone right now. It's so frustrating when you spend a bit of time talking to someone and then they go cold on you.

Does anyone have any success stories? Ways of filtering out these people? I'm very cautious not to make the same mistake as I did with my ex.

I have.Bear with me for this first part.

I met my ex(d)p on POF a few months after my divorce when I really wasn’t ready to be dating. Everything was great to start with but he turned out to be an emotionally abusive narcissist, and it took me several attempts over the course of a year to get out of it. However, once I had given myself plenty of time to recover emotionally from that experience and felt back to being ‘me’ again I started dating using Match. I had a few dates, met a few guys who I saw for a while-nothing serious. Then I met (still OL) my current DP and we’re about to move in together.

The point in me telling you the first part was to say that back then, when I was all over the place, I dated the wrong kind of people because I felt very insecure and undesirable, so I settled for something that was really wrong. I also think it makes a difference which sites you use; the paid ones tend to have people on there who are serious about finding a relationship.

I met my DH on POF. 4 years in and going strong. My DF met his DG on there, 10 years in and going strong.

Had to wade through a lot of shit to get the good one though.

I met DH on POF almost 8 years ago. He was the first and only person I met up with (he'd been on quite a few dates though).

You need a well developed bullshit-radar to weed out the dickheads. I found a very honest and possibly slightly unfriendly profile with not the best pictures did some of the selection for me. I also deleted 95% of messages without replying.

Don't feel bad about putting the brakes on anything that isn't feeling right, whether that's at the chatting stage or after one/two/many dates. You have to be a bit thick-skinned I think.

I met my husband through online dating (Mingle) - we got married 18 months ago and I'm currently up feeding our 3 week old daughter.

However, I had pretty much given up on the site and still have no real answer to why I even bothered going to read his first message - I had been swamped with older creepy blokes and men from overseas who sounded more interested in my nationality than me as a person. So it certainly can work, but you have to wade through a lot of crap before finding anyone suitable!

40ish first dates later and I finally met my fiancé and daddy of my 15 week bump There’s a hell of a lot of chaff before you find the wheat. I was meeting people for literally one drink by the end, I found I knew within the first 5 or 10 mins if somebody was a definite no and wasting the rest of the evening was tedious. For me it was a numbers game. Just keep your head, don’t be afraid to tell people to slow down if they’re moving too fast, and trust that you’ll find somebody great but it might take a bit of time.

I met my husband 6 years ago online on a forum for a shared interest of ours. If that counts.

I used internet dating for a few years which involve some horror stories (just ask me about the one with the balaclava...) but actually made some really good friends along the way and ended up with my OH.

3.5 years later and we are TTC and discussing weddings and getting engaged.

Advice? Be firm about what you expect. Not 'I AM ON THIS DATE TO MEET A HUSBAND TO FATHER MY UNBORN CHILDREN- HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT THE DESSERT MENU?' Just be aware that its the internet; that people lie, that they may not have the same expectations as you.

However, I am an example that it can work, and for the record, did not use the above as a chat up line. I dont eat dessert ;)

Keep going but just keep your wits about you and ask yourself what you are looking for from this- not what any date feel they are owed. Best of luck!

Reader, she married him.

Me! Signed up after turning 30 and not knowing how else I was going to meet someone due to job etc...chatted to and went on a date with one guy...we are very happily married with a 2 year old now xx

Yep baby number three is in the way with my first online date

Happily married to DH who I met online (he was also first online date). Now with DC as part of our family. We used E-harmony, liked how it connected me with like-minded people.

I met DP on Tinder, he was my second date from there, when we were both in our 30s me mid him late, we now have a DS and another on the way, best thing I ever did

Did a fair bit of internet dating after splitting with exh, had my fair share of weirdos and also a lot of fun... Met DP on PoF, moved in together after 3 weeks (!) and we are still together and very happy 8 years later.

Met a selection of weirdos idiots general knobheads until eventually I found a amazing one 6 years ago weve been married 4 years now and honestly have had the most amazing time together.

I online dated for 2-3 years on and off. Met loads who were nice but not for me. Had one 10 month relationship, then when that ended I went on a few more online dates but they didn't lead anywhere. Then when I moved cities I went back on Match and my husband was the first person I met. Engaged a year later, married a year after that, and 6 years after meeting we have a 3 year old and a 20 month old and are very happy. It takes a bit of persistence but don't give up on it!

My dear friend met her now wife online. I have never met a more well suited, lovely couple who are incredibly happy.

I signed up for a year's online dating subscription. Went on one date. Met my DP and we've now been together nearly 14 years and we are TTC.

It really can work.

Yes, met my husband on plenty of fish, 6 years ago. Expecting our first baby.

This was after meeting a lot of idiots though (on both sides)

I met my husband on POF 7 years ago. Both were in our mid-late 20's. I didn't fancy meeting some drunken guy in a bar/club and it was nice getting to know each other for a few weeks before meeting up.

I went on some really good dates with people I met online. Luckily I didn't seem to get many weirdos messaging me. Also never got a dick pick thank god!

I cast my net so wide when I was internet dating I had a spreadsheet to keep track of who everyone was. Facts about them, what stage (as in emailing date not base) we’d got to. I approached 10. Men a week.

I met the one, finally. 8 years married, two kids, lovely.

I often point out to him how many others he was considered against.

Hang in there.

I met four men on Tinder.

First - nice enough guy but far too feminine. He turned up wearing a waistcoat and was shorter than me. Fuck that

Second - nice guy, was desperate to find 'the one' but bragged a lot about how much he earned. I turned him down but regretted it massively when I realised I actually fancied the arse off him. He found his princess. I know because I stalked him on Facebook.

Third - perfectly nice guy but I just wasn't attracted to him.

Fourth - good guy, great father. We had three dates but there was no chemistry and we were more like mates, we kept in touch for about a year. He's recently moved in with his girlfriend and her kid. I wish him well.

I probably had to go through 800 twats to find the four guys above. I myself won't do internet dating again because I'm not really bothered about being in a relationship, but I know many people who are in loving relationships or marriages thanks to meeting online.

I refused to give any of them my phone number until after the first date.

Married him and had two children!
To filter out the crap I hid references to Hitch Hiker's guide to the Galaxy to see who'd spot them, then at least I knew we'd possibly have a similar geeky sense of humour and a talking point. Worked like a dream!

I have the same result as Noodella but mines actually born. I have siblings plus loads of my friends and acquaintances are now married/in long term relationships from internet dating. The funny thing is a good handful could have been introduced to their partner through acquaintances as they work or socialise with one or more people they both mutually know.

Anyway I would suggest always meeting up for coffee first, and seeing if the person is someone you actually get on with. If you don't like each other then you can go your separate ways after spending a few quid. Also it enables you to see the small things e.g. do they offer to buy you a drink, how do they treat you when you do the same, how do they treat the staff.

Went on a total of 3 dates over a year or so (POF), I was only doing OLD sporadically. First two, perfectly nice but no chemistry. The third I married 7 years ago.

3 dates from eharmonry. Third was the charm. Been together 7 years, married for 4.5. Have have 3.5 year old and DD is 7.5 months.