To be beating myself up over this

[recoveryishard]

Was out with a friend and my two kids and her two. They were playing in the soft play and wanted to go outside. I said ok as it was a safe gated area, put 3 year olds shoes on and off he went (or so I thought). He'd actually snuck past me and gone out the front entrance into the car park! He came running up to me in tears screaming and a lady said she had found him and said I need to keep a closer eye on him- I was so upset 😢 he is a nightmare toddler and has run off several times but I can't watch him 24/7, it was really busy and now I feel full of guilt at what could have happened. Add that to my already fragile state and as you can imagine I'm a mess 😢

It’s more a reflection on a poor soft play that the design would allow this to happen

You've had a massive fright op but he's safe and well

It was a soft play in a pub as we were having dinner- I should have watched him more carefully but we've been so many times before and he's never done it, always stays in the soft play and just comes back for a drink. Normally we sit in with them but it was so busy we had to sit by the window that looks in instead. Serious failure as a mother, again.

I agree with pp- that’s the soft play security fault, not yours. I’ve never been to one where they don’t have to be physically buzzed out by a member off staff.

Give yourself a break; softplay is the one public place where most of us relax and switch off, trusting that our children are safe and cannot get out

Of!*

i dont think she said anything wrong, i would be thinking the same.

I don’t want to make you feel worse but 3 is too young in my opinion to be allowed to toddle off on his own anywhere. You need to watch 3 year olds constantly as they easily have accidents and are too young to make sensible decisions. Glad he is okay but I would learn from this and be more vigilant in future.

I know, I should have watched him better. I'm trying my best at the moment. First time I'd been out all week as I've been feeling so anxious and I let this happen. Lesson learnt. And no I wouldn't have said anything to a mother who had just found out her son escaped as I know she be feeling awful already, but that's just me.

note i said thinking the same, i wouldnt have said it to you personally but i bet most people were thinking it and she was just thinking out loud.

Sorry I also think 3 is too young... don’t beat yourself up but be careful because your right something bad could have happened

I too think 3is far too young to play on his own for this exact reason. You’ve all had a lucky escape - time to stop beating yourself up though now, it’s over & done with

Don't beat yourself up.

My 3yo DD did this to me this morning. Both DDs (5 and 3) do an activity on a Saturday morning and while I was putting 5yo shoes in 3yo snuck off and out of the door. Luckily one of the other parents was on her way out and brought her back in. I was already legging it towards the door as it was a split second until I noticed she'd gone but that's all it takes. It's so scary!

I didn't 'go off' I sat outside the area with a window looking in?! He wasn't alone, he had his big sister and 2 other older girls with him- I totally understand you thinking I'm a shit mum. I feel the same.

@recoveryishard I don't think you're a shit mum at all, if that helps.

I can totally empathise

you need one of these I had a runner too. It literally took one second for her to completely disappear out of my sight and I hadn't a clue which direction she went in. Every parent has had that hideous heart in the mouth moment over something or other, lesson learned and move on

Thanks Green, still feel shit, could have lost my baby, won't be letting him in without me again!

Don’t feel bad, I’m a mum of 3 , oldest 26.things happen,the fact you feel so bad about it still, tells more about how you are as a mother.

He is a nightmare, one minute I see him then I look down to pick up my drink and he's gone! My daughter was never like this- think I'll invest in one of those, and bells for his ankles so I can hear him running!

Gosh. We all do things as parents. It’s part of being w mum. The mum guilt! Just think that nothing bad happened. Yes it could of. But it didn’t. You wouldnt let it happen Again. You’ve learnt from it. No one is hurt. He was with older children.

Yes. He got out etc. But like I said. We’ve all done stuff like this. I remember I used to hide from my mother. Under clothes racks. I think to myself now if my children did that. I’d be terrified!!! But I remember how much fun it used to be. My mother used to go mad!

He’s ok. No harm done. Remember that

It’s tricky keeping an eye on them all the time when you’ve got two to watch.

I remember one time I took DS1 & DS2 to soft play - they’d have been about 4yrs & 2yrs at the time.

All fine till DS1 took a tumble and started screaming, which distracted me from DS2. I finished checking DS1 over to find DS2 had wandered off - I found him at the exit, with a helpful woman opening the gate for him.

She said that DS2 had been pushing at it so she decided to help and open it for him And then she had the cheek to look at me reproachfully and say “I wondered where his mum was”. Because of course that justifies letting an unaccompanied toddler out of a secure soft play to toddle off god knows where

I'm just feeling very lucky and thankful that someone was there and he's ok- I must have someone watching over me 👼

There are some very perfect parents out there ready to judge. Give yourself a break. Forgive and forget, you’re doing your best. It’s enough 💐

if not letting a 3 year old wander about about on their own is being a perfect parent then im happy to be one. at 3 they can go off with anyone, its irresponsible so hopefully the op has learnt from it!

@CandyCreeper you’re perfect. Enjoy it 😘