This might be a long post so bear with me.
My boyfriend is so, so good to me. I worry I don’t do enough for him. A few examples -
I have Bipolar and it’s been very hard to manage. It got worse within weeks of us being together and I was terrified he was going to leave. I’ve had many long Hospital admissions in a unit a 45 minute drive away from home. He visited me almost every day. He comes to all my psychiatrist appointments with me and asks loads of questions to make sure he is supporting me in the best way. He stands up for me when I’ve been treated poorly and haven’t been able to stand up for myself. He has stayed in a very low paid self employed job so he is flexible enough to support me when I become unwell.
I suffered with anorexia for many years and had a huge relapse after we’d been together for 6 months. He stayed with me almost every night as I kept passing out and he was worried about something bad happening to me. He listened to every body image related issue I had and tried to reason with me. When I went into an inpatient unit an hour away from home he visited me nearly every day. He drove me to every outpatient appointment in the same unit every week for 18 months.
I’m now pregnant, it was unplanned and he was super stressed at first. Now he’s super excited and can talk about nothing else. He’s researched all the mother and baby MH units in the area in case I become unwell. He took me to my first midwife appointment as it’s miles away from home and I was in such a state. I’ve suffered with awful itching for weeks and it culminated in me sobbing in his arms last night. He drove me across town to the big Tesco to pick up various creams and solutions that we’d found online - he insisted on paying for half of it as the pregnancy is just as much his responsibility as it is mine.
He snores so, so badly and I’ve started to really struggle sleeping at night. He insisted on sleeping on our very small, very uncomfortable sofa last night so I could get a full night of sleep. He even kept the dog in with him so I had the whole bed to myself.
When I was struggling with pregnancy nausea he did some research online and came back from work with ginger ale, ginger tea, ginger biscuits and ginger cake as he read ginger was really good for nausea.
He’s so kind and selfless and would do anything to make sure I’m happy and well. Don’t get me wrong, he has his flaws (he’s ridiculously messy, never cleans anything and spends far too much time on his phone) but I love him regardless.
I feel like I don’t do enough for him. He insists that I do and that he does everything he does because he loves me and because he wants to do it but I do feel guilty. I want to do something really nice for him but I don’t have a clue what to do.
Opinions? Should I do more? I can’t hold down a job yet and have very little money. Any ideas on something nice I could do for him?