DS will only sleep on me.

[Geargee]

We have a 4 week old DS.

He's a bit colicky and grumpy and cluster feeding. If I pass him to DH or DSD he won't settle, whines and isn't happy until he's passed back to me.

DH and DSD are becoming frustrated with this. DH thinks his son doesn't love him (I've explained that a 4 week old doesn't love anything other than milk and cuddles). DH is outwardly jealous and I feel guilty taking him back every time he cries. I have to though, otherwise he will scream. As soon as I take him he's fine.

AIBU to feel anxious about this? I feel like I'm on eggshells with DH because I'm made to feel guilty every time I take my son (not intentionally, DH just sighs or makes a 'no I didn't think you'd want me comment every time)

Is it normal for a baby to only want his mum?

It's hard for me too. I'd love him to just fall asleep and be content with other people but he's just...not...

Look up on the '4th trimester'. It's perfectly normal. Indeed it is natural and survival instinct.

It's normal and your DH needs to grow up.
Don't pander to him.

It's survival. The baby needs you to survive, dad is just a bonus at the moment. It does t last long.

My baby only slept on me for ages, after she grew out of the sleepy baby phase. The first time she fell asleep on her daddy was so special to him. She was about 19 weeks, he felt like they had developed a true bond and that he had earned her trust. He demanded I photograph the moment, he was so proud. It was lovely. Tell your husband his time will come.

OP didn’t you post about this before?? About an arsehole DH and his stupid jealousy over the baby, constantly taking baby off you and getting arsey about your step daughter holding the baby???

My midwife said to me when DS was a few days old that he is MY baby and I can decide who I want to hold him and when (obviously that applies to DH as well). She said one of the ladies she had seen was getting a bit jealous of other people holding her baby and that was totally normal so YANBU for wanting to hold your baby whenever you want to. You grew him!!

As for your DH I’m not sure what to suggest if he doesn’t want to try your top on him or something like that. You could try googling to him about the fourth trimester? There’s a lot of evidence to suggest babies only really want their mummies to start with!

This thread???

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3412268-just-given-birth-and-hate-everyone

Apologies if not it’s just the jealous wan**r DH and 7 year old DSD rang a bell. If it is you did you not take any of the advise to contact HV/Women’s Aid??

I know it’s usually poor form to bring other threads onto a new thread but if it is ge same OP I feel posters need to know that this guy is actually abusive when giving out advice to show him the thread etc

If it’s not the same poster I’m sorry.

It is 110% normal. Google the fourth trimester and tell your DH to grow up

Your both tiered. We're only hearing your negative rants as you can't say it in front of dh. He seems to overestimate the intellect of a 4 week old with regards to love but he probably envisioned lots of cuddles and being able to hold him eventually after you've had your baby for 9 months. I hope things improve for your family.

**SleepySofa

Your baby is not a toy! Shut HIM down, when DH starts whining. Your baby needs you to advocate for him - he wants his mummy, not to be passed around like a parcel or a puppy. You don’t have to share him or take turns with a 7 year old - tell him straight that it’s very important for your baby to have one main primary caregiver in the first months, and that’s you, especially if you’re breastfeeding. Pull your big girl pants on, stiffen your spine and tell him straight to stop acting like a teenager who has had his PlayStation taken away, as it’s incredibly unattractive.

^this right here....needs to grow up and be supportive
Sharing your baby with a 7 year old

OP are you ok? Is it the same OP as the other thread?

I’m worried that nothing has changed in your situation. The DH in the other thread was controlling, intimidating and abusive. Your child is going to grow up in that environment if nothing changes. He will think that is how men are supposed to behave.

Please get some real life help from your HV/GP or women’s aid