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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you find this hard?

4 replies

WinnieWill · 17/11/2018 12:48

Please help - struggling with a work situ and not sure if I'm just being pathetic. It has really been affecting me - for context, it's a finance/audit-type grad scheme and I am 2 years in.

  1. Only female in all-male team
  2. Brand new team, all colleagues I have never worked with before
  3. Slight language/cultural barrier between me and my direct manager
  4. Work I have never done before - it's not hard per se, but it is time consuming, requires thought and is poorly explained to me.

It's probably no coincidence that I don't feel like I'm performing as well as I could be in light of all of the above. I don't really like the day-to-day work I do anyway, and am seriously considering changing jobs.

Does anyone have any advice to help me get through it? I stupidly confided in a (male) colleague at my level that I found my direct manager's mgmt style hard to deal with, and he has mentioned it to a few external people, stating that I am having difficult adapting to our overseas colleagues' ways! I find the general lack of support quite overwhelming and while I get on socially with the team, the all maleness makes it quite hard to properly bond - we do spend a lot of social time together and get on fine (e.g. go out for beers, meals) but I don't play sports games with them etc, which I think has been good for their bonding!!

OP posts:
ShalomJackie · 17/11/2018 13:01

Can I ask more about what you feel the difficulty is with the culture/language barrier with the manager if your colleagues are not experiencing the same? Why have you referred to the manager as overseas if it is your direct manager?

Originalnaya · 17/11/2018 13:05

The manager is an overseas colleague who I am working for directly (if that makes sense) - its a cross-border project, comprising of a UK team and an overseas team, and we are working together.

My male colleague who I referred to in my first post told me he felt the same, and no longer works for him. I do not know how the overseas juniors feel, but have an idea that he is like this with everyone. I do really resent the fact that said colleague is going round telling people I am finding it difficult when he acknowledged the same to me before!

ScreamingValenta · 17/11/2018 13:06

@WinnieWill I think you've had a NC fail - you might want to ask MNHQ to amend your second post.

Originalnaya · 17/11/2018 13:13

Oh no, thanks for alerting me - it's fine though

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