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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need to consult the MN oracle - teenaged boys and cycle helmets!

148 replies

Greensleeves · 16/11/2018 21:22

My 14yo wants a new bike for Christmas. He also wants us to stop insisting that he wears a cycle helmet, because apparently we are the only parents who make our teens wear them, none of his friends do, and it's embarrassing (to the point that he would rather not cycle)

DH and I don't want to cave in on this one...AWBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Greensleeves · 16/11/2018 21:35

I know it's boring!

OP posts:
Shednik · 16/11/2018 21:37

YANBU.

When I was in my early twenties, I was knocked off my bike by a car. My helmet split clean in two.

Before that I was haphazard about wearing it. Never again.

No helmet, no bike in our house.

I'd no more let them not wear a helmet than I'd let them not wear a seat belt. I'd rather have them embarrassed than dead.

ASauvignonADay · 16/11/2018 21:48

YANBU!!!

But, he is pretty accurate. Or is at our school. Almost zero of our teenage boys at school wear a helmet. Maybe a few year 7s, but only a handful.

Bike safety is a constant battle

Runworkeatsleeprepeat · 16/11/2018 21:49

It's easy to say no helmet no bike. But I'm in the same position with my 14 year old son he won't even go out on his bike anymore as he was "spotted" once with his helmet on as he was on a ride with me and he was teased relentlessly. His dad is adamant that he wears a helmet so he just doesn't go out which I think is sad. But on the other hand I wouldn't forgive myself if he got seriously injured because he wasn't wearing a helmet. Sorry I haven't really helped there as I don't know what to do either.

ggirl · 16/11/2018 21:55

YANBU
I have same thing with my ds. He goes off with it on but I wouldn't be surprised if he takes it off down the road. I wish it was the law that they had to wear them.

In my job I regularly work with brain injured young people and would love to take him to visit them. No short term memory , doubly incontinent ,dependent on others for everything ...

Original poster
Greensleeves · 16/11/2018 21:57

It's difficult, I do want him to be able to cycle, it's great exercise and great for his independence etc. But I just can't stomach the idea of him out on busy roads with no helmet. DH is even more militant about it than I am, he cycles everywhere and wears a helmet himself so has very little sympathy with the argument that it's embarrassing.

Trouble is, ds2 is a) as stubborn as a mule, b) quite capable of saying "ok I'll wear it" then just taking it off once out, and c) very keen on his image!

OP posts:
booellesmum · 16/11/2018 21:57

I have DDs but same applies. No helmet = no bike.

NommyChompers · 16/11/2018 21:58

Part of my job is seeing patients in casualty’s who have cut they’re faces/scalps or broken jaws/cheekbones / torn ears half off in accidents. I can tell instantly who was wearing a helmet because we have a chat whilst I stitch up their lips / chins. If someone wasn’t wearing a helmet there is often a neurosurgeon reviewing a head CT checking for brain injuries. No child of mine will EVER be allowed to not wear a helmet. I’ve seen too many tragic endings.

Original poster
Greensleeves · 16/11/2018 21:58

ggirl it's horrifying isn't it Sad I used to work in a rehabilitation centre for major brain injuries. Lots of young men who'd had cycling accidents.

OP posts:
Wendygoesfar · 16/11/2018 21:59

No helmet no bike in our house, as said by @Shednik akin to no seatbelt in a car, it's not worth the risk.

ggirl · 16/11/2018 22:01

Yup Greensleeves it's heartbreaking..

Maybe we should start a Mumsnet campaign to change the law

nokidshere · 16/11/2018 22:02

No helmet, no bike in our house too but I'm pretty sure they don't wear them once out of sight.

However, I did read somewhere that there are fewer accidents of cyclists with no helmets because drivers give them a wider berth.... not sure that helps though

Mesmeri · 16/11/2018 22:03

I saw an ad the other day for a new style of 'trendy' bike helmet. Had a little peak at the front, comes in a variety of colours. Maybe one of those would be more acceptable?

Original poster
Greensleeves · 16/11/2018 22:03

I do think a change in the law would help hugely. Apart from making it more difficult to get ds2 to wear one, the fact that none of his friends do is pretty appalling in itself Sad

OP posts:
Thistly · 16/11/2018 22:03

This is so sad!
Can we have a Mumsnet campaign on this issue?

I can well imagine how strong the peer pressure is. Sad

Thistly · 16/11/2018 22:04

Cross post Blush

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/11/2018 22:05

I just done get it, al the professionals wear helmets, wbether theyre on the road, bmx, mountain bike, skate boarding all of it!

ggirl · 16/11/2018 22:08

Its mandatory in Australia apparently

GoldenBuns · 16/11/2018 22:08

No helmet no bike. And I've told him that if I ever catch him out and about without one, the bike will go for good. Luckily, his friends are all fairly sensible about this and I see them all wearing them.

iamme21 · 16/11/2018 22:15

My DS was recently knocked off his bike by a car. No helmet. Fortunately he did not sustain a head injury. When his broken arm heals and he is back on a bike he will be wearing a helmet. His own decision

Zampa · 16/11/2018 22:19

Its mandatory in Australia apparently

And participation in cycling has taken as a massive result, which has a knock on effect on public health.

I wear a helmet, DH wears a helmet and when my children are old enough to ride on the road, they'll wear a helmet. YANBU OP.

However, there shouldn't be a legal requirement to wear a helmet for all cyclists.

Beamur · 16/11/2018 22:20

Well, in the last 2 years, two of my friends teenage sons avoided brain injury after spectacular wipe outs on their bikes. Hospitalised with other injuries, but in both cases were told by Drs that without helmets it would have much worse.

Shednik · 16/11/2018 22:22

OP's DS is accurate though unfortunately. Hardly any of my dcs' friends wear a helmet.

As someone said up thread, if I catch them without a helmet, bike is gone for good.