To think kids are getting injured too often at school?

[themanisajerk]

Year 1 (5 and 6)

Group of boys - same names repeated, my DS is one of them.

In the last few weeks

-scratches that bleed

• bruises to stomach
• head injury
• black eye
• bruises to groin
• clothing ripped
• toys for show and tell broken
• work ruined
• child excluded repeatedly from playground game

Probably more.

I understand teacher can't watch everything and boys can be a handful

But everything I hear comes from children or other parents

No accident reports

AIBU pfb to now get really cross with school or is this just the norm for boys?

There's obviously something happening in this group for the same names to be repeated - none of them have really yet formed friendship groups as such in the class yet there's a group developing who are the ones fighting. It's not a friendship group, they still very much all play with the whole class.

And yes I do think she holds more influence being present when this happens. Some things are playground but lots is obviously under her watch for DS to be sent to sit in another classroom when he's the troublemaker.

my kids have never been injured and i have 3 at school.

I’d remove my child from the school away from that group of boys. The injuries you described are unacceptable.

I spoke to teacher about my DS and my concerns over his frequently getting involved in fights. It was casually mentioning it... but she responded by telling me a lot more about my DS.

I'm concerned I wasn't made aware of what she replied with sooner, yes. I'm surprised but very upset about his behaviour at school this year.

All of the things you describe have always happened, they're a part of the rough and tumble. What has changed is the paper trail obsession, my grandson comes home with a collection of slips for the most trivial things, he scratched his knees falling over, he had a bit of a scrap in the playground etc. Maybe parents need to provide well-fitting duvets so their dears never, ever get a bump. There are more serious accidents but I would be willing to bet that there are far fewer than twenty years ago.

Ok so it seems to be a much bigger issue concerning his behaviour in general at school. Ignore gossip and incidents of other kids and arrange a meeting with the teacher to talk about his behaviour, any concerns she has ,any concerns you have. How can she help? How can you help.
You need to make this about your son only and between you and the teacher. Ask about a home/school diary.

These aren't really accidents though. This is a group of boys, same group repeatedly fighting. And some serious injuries not being tackled appropriately in that no accident reports have been sent home and I only know about when my DS is the one causing it through other parents and then me asking DS

Yes I do think bigger issue concerning my DS. If I wasn't friends with other parents I would still be none the wiser other than his own injuries

They should not be fighting in the playground, surely? Perhaps I’m very naive, but I would not expect that to go unstopped.

Honestly talk to the teacher. If you must join in with the other parents encourage them to speak to her as well. What you are doing now is obviously not working.

But like i said ,focus on your own child for now and finding a way forward for him. The other kids are their parent's responsibility.

Yes thanks, I will definitely speak to her now

I just wondered if this is out of control compared to other classes of same age

DS obviously is worrying me a lot atm but wasn't sure how much is age and how much is really something to look into as a serious problem

Is no-one supervising them on the yard?

Yep teachers supervise the playground

Each school is different and each class is different. What's really unusual is the total lack of medical slips ,given the frequency you report some should've made your way to you.

I'm on the other side of this..DD managed to get 3!!!! in one day.

There’s been similar at DS’s school which seems to be settling down after numerous parents complained.

Why are they not getting stoped if they are supervised

Are they telling the teacher though when they get hurt? Things like black eyes can take ages to come out, and they wouldn't be checking the groin area for bruises so wouldn't see. So if they're not saying anything the teacher won't necessarily know.

Mind you my ds once had 2 bumped head notes within half an hour of each other.

It sounds (sorry if this isn't the case) that you're concerned about the lack of accident reports. Surely the bigger issue is your son's behaviour?

Yes, of course if thus is happening in the classroom (unlikely) then the teacher should be calling you in about your son's behaviour. As for sending your son to another class- I suspect it's all taking place during playtime but there's argy bargy as they're coming back into the classroom and the teacher is trying to split them up. I think you need to approach the school, but in a conciliatory way to say you realise your son (and his friends) are not behaving appropriately, and how can you (with the schools support) try to address this?

I have 4 boys and I think this sounds waaaaay excessive. Definitely needs to be talked out with parents and teachers. At that age the teacher does need to be stopping it and pulling them aside or else it'll escslate beyond that and I don't know how it escalates beyond that list!!!! Good luck op

They should not be fighting in the playground, surely? Perhaps I’m very naive, but I would not expect that to go unstopped.

Not naive at all, my dons have always thought it a big deal if there was fighting to the point that someone cried, got hurt, landed on the ground etc, and at that she their class was always told to get a teacher and they did (We'd be told x was fighting with such and such and they were both sent in to the principal/parents were called in etc' and that was for less than a black eye or with blood involved

There's another thread running called Parental Fails, amusing stories of how children have sustained broken bones, bruises, cuts, abandonment etc etc on their parents' watch, these are treated as mishaps. Why are such things considered quite differently when they happen in school? If a teacher placed your child on a raised surface and they fell off the roof would fall in yet there are a number of stories of babies falling off beds. Generally you're watching a couple of children, in a school there are 30 in a room, maybe a hundred in the playground and minor accidents will occur.
I've always said that if a child dies on a school trip that's negligence, if it's on a family outing it's a tragic accident.

Are they play fighting and getting carried away? or actually trying to hurt each other?

A certain amount of rough play in year 1 isn't uncommon and the odd scratch or bruise does happen but your list does sound like it has got completely out of hand and you should be being told every time your DS is involved, whether he's the one injured or the one causing it.

From what I hear it's always started by "an accident" sometimes that has ended in children retaliating sometimes worse than the "accident" itself

I'm massively concerned about my sons behaviour- I'm suprised not to have been called in for a meeting tbh by the teacher. When I casually mentioned I'm concerned currently she replied yeah and added a long list to my concerns. Yet I haven't been called in to discuss any of it, I felt awful when she told me but then I'm thinking why aren't you telling me this and only in response casually to me mentioning concerns. There are other factors in my sons life which make me especially uncomfortable with not being told which the school know about as I've informed them.

And yes, they are telling their teacher as she's sending them to another teacher as punishment when it happens.

Good point though about whether she is aware of the bruises and black eye happening from these incidents, I assumed she was, but it's possible she hasn't connected them. That said... if a child turns up with a black eye or bruises I do expect teachers to ask how they have happened. Surely if she doesn't think these are from school she would be reporting them as safeguarding concerns... that hasn't happened.

I'd have expected the teacher to be at the very least vaguely aware of soft tissue type injuries and be sending an incident form home for head injuries.

It doesn't really sound like "play" fighting given the injuries sustained. Is there a martial arts class your children can go to, while meeting the teacher and giving your "permission" (ie asking very nicely if she'll keep an eye out for fighting) to implement the school's behaviour policy firmly? Martial arts is good for teaching DC self discipline.

It's not acceptable that this is happening. I noticed your comment in OP about it being "boys": some children will be physical with each other no matter their sex. Being male doesn't make it ok or inevitable - they are being inappropriately behaved in a school environment.

Fwiw my eldest DD (yr 2) can have 2 or 3 incident forms a week, probably averages 8 per half term; she loves skipping and frequently runs too fast for her feet. It's still BIG NEWS when "X kicked Y in the privates" or "Z got a black eye from fighting" so ai wouldn't say just their age - at her school these incidents seem to escalate through the behaviour system (traffic lights) (which teachers update parents with daily if a child is on red), and give 10 minute detentions if it becomes a real habit.

The kids can't fart without the school filling out some kind of form nowadays. Our school does an accident slip a parent must sign and the children have a sticker which says "I bumped my head" or "I cut myself" too for extra measure.