To think it is inappropriate for exOH to ask 10 year old to pour his wine

[NoMoreLimbo]

So, my ex OH, that I am still under the same roof as, is a big wine drinker. He sometimes asks the DC's (8 and 10) to go and get his 'juice' and asks them to pour it for him. I think this is really wrong and am wondering whether I am overreacting because it is him

What do you think dear mumsnetters? Would you be okay with your child of this age d,be asked to do this?

YABU and ridiculous.

Best to stop letting petty things get to you before you separate properly. You don't get any say over what he does during his contact time with the kids.

Usually i'd see no problem with it but calling it 'juice' and the fact its a regular occurrence does seem problematic. Asking a child to pour a glass of wine for an adult occasionally is a good way of teaching a child to be a good host and manners etc. BUT, in this case it kind of seems like hes just being lazy

Husband and his brothers used to fight to be the one to make FIL's G&T because they knew they could have the little sip off the top "so it didn't spill".

I got my dad cans of beer from the fridge and he taught me to pour properly from the age of 4 I think. I'm not an alcoholic, it hasn't affected me at all. I think you're way overthinking this.

@Shirleyphallus
Best answer ever
YABU

Just let it go. Fight the war, not the battle etc

Yep, definitely shouldn't be calling it juice.

But my teens have been pouring a mean G&T and opening champagne bottles since before they were 10.....

My parents used to have big parties with lots of people there and I learnt how to make lots of different drinks from a young age so asking to pour a wine wouldn’t bother me. But, you say he is a big drinker, do you mean alcoholic? It would concern me if he is involving his children in that.

No different that asking a ten year old to make me a cup of tea. Although I wouldn't like wine being called 'juice'. A ten year old is plenty old enough to have some diluted wine at the dinner table with their food.

I wouldn’t call it juice, but I genuinely don’t see the problem in them pouring it..... he’s not asking them to line up cocaine....

It might be because he's your 'ex'. It might not.

As my children have got older, as teens, as they left the lounge they would offer to pour me a wine and I always said no, because it just felt wrong. My children pouring me alcohol. it's as simple as that.

Now they come home for a visit and help themselves and pour me a glass and that's lovely and natural. But children, no.

But then seeing previous posts, I can see that as ok too.

I think this is a totally personal preference, no right or wrong.

But it's NOT juice. That I do think of as an unhealthy reference to alcohol.

"Fight the war, not the battle etc"

That 100 %.

I don't think that there's anything wrong with them pouring drinks and they are old enough to know it isn't juice.

Reminds me of Sheldon Cooper's Dad's "don't tell momma" juice.

I also don’t quite get the hand wringing over calling it juice... I don’t think your average 8 or 10yo would genuinely believe wine was juice. Surely it’s a little joke? Like, “orange juice for little Oliver, pineapple juice for big brother Jack and ‘juice’ for daddy”. They’d have to be a bit silly to take this as a green light to have a swig no? Are all the 8 and 10 yos I know unusual in that they know they cannot drink wine and that juice does not come in a wine bottle stinking of booze?

I don’t know about the pouring tbh. I can’t remember doing anything like this for my parents and can’t imagine asking a child to get me an alcoholic drink, no. But it doesn’t sound like a huge deal.

Think it might be because he’s your ex.

Any chance of you living separately?

It’s not the fact that he calls it juice that bothers me. They know full well it isn’t.

It’s because he is a heavy drinker (yes Istandwithposie he is a functioning alcoholic) and that he can’t be bothered to get up himself. So I guess this is just another part of that behaviour.

I truly hope that we will be under separate roofs within a few months.