To have inwardly rolled my eyes at news that friend is engaged?

[SummerGems]

Big fuss on fb, video of him proposing to his gf and her saying yes, followed by all the congratulatory posts wishing them “a lifetime of happiness.” So far, so good or so you’d think.

Except this will be his 5th engagement, and assuming they actually marry, his 4th marriage - he is 40.

Obviously I haven’t said anything to anyone, and no I’m not jealous before anyone suggests otherwise. But how on earth could anyone possibly think they’re “the one” when someone has been there so many times before?

Good luck to them and hope for their sakes it lasts. But can’t help thinking that this is just one in a long line... Surely the idea of engagement and marriage loses its sparkle once you’ve been there so many times? .

Agree SummerGems, I recently had to endure 18 months a year of engagement and wedding talk from a BIL and new fiancé. They had both been married before a few times over. Marry again if you must but I just didn't get the hype or join in. Bah humbug!

Big gesture that means nothing given he's already broken his vows four times. She should be running for the hills.

He very much is one for the big gestures. Declaring his love instantly etc etc. I’m not sure why his last marriages ended but I do know that one of them lasted less than a year.

What a douche. I don't get people who have a big ol' wedding after the first one (like the Meghan Markle one), c'mon, you already did this and went back on it. We've received invitations to third or fourth weddings and they want a cash donation to a honeymoon fund. Grow the fuck up, trot to the Registry Office and be done with it.

There may be factors that change. A friend is on wife 4, it looks set to last. Previous times either he or partner or both drank heavily. Now he's aa and she's almost teetotal by choice.

Well it was Harry's first marriage so maybe he wanted a big do?

I remember my Mum talking in hushed tones about a family friend who was getting married for the third time. I was so shocked and found it incomprehensible. Thirty years on and I have been divorced twice . So if (god forbid!) I met someone I'd be the 3 x marriage woman too. It creeps up far easier than you'd think.

Yeah, but c'mon, Carol, the big white dress with veil?! He comes across as a bit of a dipshit and thick as two planks, anyhow.

Oh dear. She’s his Anne of Cleeves. I wouldn’t put money on it lasting really. Second marriage, fair enough, you made a mistake and want to start over. Even third I’d understand to a degree. But after that it’s like an addiction.

I once worked with a woman who was going to be a fifth wife. She was most put out that the local vicar wouldn’t do the ceremony. They ended up having it in a local hotel, which it turned out he’d had his third marriage in. Wonder if they have a loyalty card? Buy 10 weddings get one free?

A friend of DH's got married recently. His third marriage, her second. A second time I can understand, but why would you bother doing it a third time? Making vows yet again that obviously mean nothing to you if you've already done it twice before.

YANBU to roll eyes I gotta say. But when in their presence, smile and nod, smile and nod.

I recently went to a third wedding. It was a huge glitzy white wedding, to be fair the groom acknowledged this in his speech by explaining it was his bride’s first wedding and he wanted her to have everything she wanted even tho it was bit embarrassing for him! Quite a few guests had attended all three of his weddings. It was actually a lovely two days, DP and I have decided this one’s for life!

Maybe he just really really likes wedding cake

Hm I think I’d be a bit sheepish when announcing a fourth engagement, let alone filming it and splashing it over social media - but each to his (many) own I guess!

Maybe they'll last a lifetime but like you I'd find it difficult to get excited a bout a fourth wedding. The chances of it lasting are just too low.

YANBU

I'm going through my second divorce and my dad makes "ill catch the next one" jokes at every opportunity. Both were epically bad judgment on my behalf, I have no excuse - I had reservations each time and brushed it off as "nerves." I don't want to get married again and I wouldn't be interested in being someone else's third/fourth wife either.

With a bit of luck he will show his true colours before they are married.

SIL is a 3rd wife. He has children with 3 different women. He is a controlling, manipulative low life. She was a wealthy widow when they met/he lived in a bedsit and owed thousands to the tax man. It will last as long as her money. They had planned to marry abroad but had to change plans because nobody would could go

Oh the big gesture kind of guy 🙄
Yes I know the type. BIL told us they were making a big fuss because 'it's a once off event'
🙄🤔 Seriously? not the first time of either of them. I literally laughed out loud at that.

You probably won't need to wait long before you can nod and say I told you so.
For me just the knowing is enough.

I was divorced by 23 and married again before 30. Plans that this one is forever, but I can see how people can rack up four or five spouses if each marriage lasts 10-15 years.

Oh dear. She’s his Anne of Cleeves.

Unattractive, but Protestant and from a country that could be a useful ally?

Good luck to your friend and her future ex-husband. 🥂

XH is wife #3 and that seems to be holding up. He's a PDA sort of person (I was young and trusting )

*is = is on