Share your PND survival stories please

[NewbornBaby]

Sorry this is not an Aibu but posting for traffic and to try and share with as many people as may need to see it.

My baby is 2 weeks old, I have severe pnd.
My dh is very anxious about going back to work next week because of how low I've been but we can't afford for him to be off any more.
Reading lots is helping a bit and hearing first hand survival stories is just what in need so please please share!
Thank-you!

I've tried to book people in most of the week. Except for tomorrow. 😬

Severe PND can need hospital admission (either to a mother-baby unit if available or the mother to an acute adult ward, for the latter she can't bring the baby but is usually allowed day leave when well enough). If you feel suicidal or have any signs of post partum psychosis (hallucinations/manic behaviour/strange thoughts) please get some more help asap! You may need stronger medication.

I had severe PND, it was hell. But I got through it (with the help of medication and therapy) and now have a wonderful 4 year old!

Whereabouts in the world are you, op?

@dangermouseisace, a lot of what you said resonated with me. It really is a horrendous illness.

Accept all help from sources you trust. Don't be shy about asking for specific help that you need don't just accept what is offered iyswim as that may not be what is helpful. Find a routine that helps you get through the day so you can go on autopilot. Figure out what your triggers are. What is the worst time of day etc? Is there a pattern? Its not always dramatic things it can be something mundane like cooking dinner or bath time so be honest with yourself. Remove anyone who leaves you feeling drained or questioning yourself. You need to protect yourself from this. Make sure you are eating well so you are topping up energy you lose through lack of sleep, breastfeeding etc. Have something to look forward to, a treat, a meal, film, walk, hobby, whatever does it for you. Don't project into the future just work on having the best day you can. Don't worry about housework or chores NONE of that stuff is important right now unless the mess brings you down in which case offload it to someone else as one of the offers of help.

You're going to be alright. It's very common it happens to many many women. Enjoy your baby x

OP, how has today gone? Were you OK?

Hope it is going OK OP. I was hospitalised with PND after my second - a combination of ADs and CBT helped. The Association for Postnatal illness (APNI) has a dedicated helpline from 10 -2 on weekdays - 0207 386 0868 and they also have a network of email buddies who have had PND who will support you through this which was a godsend for me - check out their website apni.org/our-function/

You might also look at your local Children's Centre to see what groups they run - also your HV might be bale to recommend mother and baby groups - I found that, hard as it was to get up and go out, I felt better for doing so. Exercise helps too as a pp suggested.

Just be kind to yourself and understand that you will get through this.

I was an anxious, emotional mess. I lost two stone in the month after DS was born with additional needs.

I would wake up each morning, determined to be so normal. The worst event was taking him in the pram to Sainsburys, a five minute drive but an hour’s walk round trip, because I wanted to use the lovely pram I’d so carefully picked out.

DH was somewhere I can’t remember where and I promised I’d be fine, I’d purposely timed it so he would come home and we wouldn’t be there and I could airily reply ‘I’ve nipped to the shop with the baby, come meet us’ and I could be a normal mum.

I was sobbing by the time I got there and just spent half an hour sat in the toilets, vomiting from stress on and off. DH eventually called and he must have thought someone had died. He came to pick us up and I will always remember standing in the car park, broken and filled with such shame. I thought I was going mad and I had failed everyone.

It gets easier, OP, but opening up and accepting help does really help the situation. It will be okay.

I had PND after having my first baby. I was admitted to a mother and baby unit for six weeks.

By the time he was four months old, I was already much better: back at home, functioning well on medication and with weekly visits from a CPN.

I went on to have more children and didn't get PND again.

I'm reading this sobbing. DS is 10 weeks. I feel like I have lost everything.

I totally understand feeliing that way. I did too. Have you spoken to your gp?

Not sure if that was to me?
If so yes, he said feeling anxious was normal for a new mum.
I'm so desparate for sleep.

I've had a couple of rubbish days.
I'm not sure but I do think I might benefit from going to a mother and baby unit or something, a way to get myself into a routine but then again I need to get into a regular routine at home and support my husband.

I've struggled to get myself out of bed, cancelled on everyone and my poor husband had to come home from work early, all I can think of is keeping this baby alive, feeding & changing her, everything else is just being ignored.

Yes, it was @mississipilessly. He's full of shit, go back! I'll go with you and fight your corner if you're in the South East!

Antidepressants can help, but there are other services you can access, like anpi helpline, homestart, etc. Do your friends know? What's your support like?

OP, the fact that you're even doing that much is amazing. I loved my dd but desperately wanted her to go away to some one else to look after her, just for her few months, so I could rest and recover... So don't beat yourself up.

Also, your husband needs to be supporting YOU, but the other way around. You just gave birth to a human, ffs, he can survive.

Also guys, a twitter / Facebook group called PND and Me helped me out a lot. Please look it up, great support network

I had horrendous PND. Horrendous. Every night when I went to bed I would pray that either I or my daughter would die in our sleep because I couldn't see any other way out. If my husband had let me I would have given my daughter to social services and left the country so I didn't have to face anyone. Genuinely. I couldn't imagine ever, ever being happy again - as far as I was concerned I'd ruined my life. I'd read survivor stories of PND and just think "that won't happen to me, I won't ever love my baby, I won't ever be glad I had her". It was by a million miles the worst thing I've ever been through in my whole life and I still can't quite believe I managed to get through it.

At my worst point I actively planned a suicide method then phoned my HV and left a message asking her to come round because I wanted someone to be there to look after my daughter when I was dead. Thankfully she came immediately and interrupted me. This was when my daughter was about a month old and thankfully it kickstarted crisis treatment.

My husband was signed off work for 3 months with stress, but in reality it was so he could be there (as I obviously wasn't allowed to be alone with my daughter when I was suicidal and we don't have any family nearby). I had a mental health professional coming out daily - at first a psychiatrist every day and then other members of her team like occupational therapists and mental health nurses. I was put on maximum dose Prozac and a beta-blocker. I got help from a charity who came out once a week to take my daughter for a walk so I could get a break etc etc. All these things made a huge difference - especially the medication - and by 3 months I was coping, by 4 months I wasn't hating every minute, by 5 months I was enjoying bits of it and now, at 10 months, I am so so glad I had my little girl and although I still have hard days, I feel mentally healthy and very happy. And I have fallen head over heels in love with my daughter - I love her so much it makes me feel a bit sick! I hate that I missed out on her newborn days but I really treasure almost every minute with her now, and I feel hopeful that if we have another child - which I hope we will - I'll be able to have a better experience.

Honestly if your husband can have any time off any way, I think he should - that's what saved me. I thought things could never ever get better - I read people saying things like this and couldn't believe it could ever happen to me, I just knew that I'd be miserable forever and never ever recover. But I did, and you will to. All of you who are struggling.

PM me any time - I'm happy to chat. Sending love to you all.

Same with the offer of a PM - if anyone wants to chat privately.

GP, tablets, and then went I felt well enough to come off them, a private therapist (who I'm still seeing now because she's brilliant).

Definitely seek help. It's not your fault and you don't have to feel this way 

Thanks Ten - i am in the SE!!

Hi OP. I was diagnosed when my son was 10 weeks. Had a traumatic birth and nearly lost him which I think was the reason. I have been taking Sertraline ever since and now feeling much better; my son is 9 months. Not completely there but definitely a lot more myself. Making real mum friends (women I had a connection with) helped a lot, as did plenty of exercise, fresh air, trying to eat properly and getting out to groups with baby as much as possible.