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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to join this car pool

18 replies

Homethroughthepuddles · 16/11/2018 14:39

Three other people I work with live in the same neighbourhood as I do. We all work the same hours and one of them has suggested we car pool to save on petrol costs.

I hate the thought of it to be honest. I consider the drive into work to be my last 45 minutes of peace and quiet before I get into the hassle of the day, and also love putting on some music and driving home with just my own thoughts. I also like being able to stop off at the shopping centre or pop into my mum's on the way home.

I know it would save money and also be better for the environment so WIBU to just say no, that it wouldn't really work for me?

OP posts:
anniehm · 16/11/2018 14:40

Just say no then, perfectly good reasons (without the peace and quiet bit)

LEDadjacent · 16/11/2018 14:41

If you often don't go straight home that's a simple way to get out of it without hurting anyone's feelings.

RangeRider · 16/11/2018 14:41

'Sorry, that won't work for me but thanks for offering'

bagpiss · 16/11/2018 14:44

This is a no brainier surely. Just say you don't always go straight home so it doesn't work for you.

BrokenWing · 16/11/2018 14:59

If you don't want to just say no.

I didn't fancy joining a car share but thought I'd give it a go and 4 years down the line still doing it. Saves me >2,000 miles on the car each year and the associated fuel and running costs. dh got rid of his car last year after a big maintenance bill and hasn't replaced as we are managing without now (he can use my car when its not my week driving or his van if needed).

We are a fairly relaxed share, if its someone's week to drive and they say they cant do a day because they want to do something after work then someone steps in and does it for them.

The biggest problem is if you are in work already and you get a call from the school, or feel unwell, have an unwell parent etc you or the others cant get home easily. We have quite a few people at work in the same area so its usually ok to catch a lift with another car share or someone else, or we all go home and WFH for the rest of the day (we are lucky company is very flexible and pro green as long as it doesn't happen too often/interfere with meetings etc).

sayanythingelse · 16/11/2018 15:03

Carpooling is a great idea in theory but I don't blame you for not wanting to do it. We used to carpool at my old job and the guy I was with constantly made me late. He'd be running out of his house at 08:50 still doing his hair and putting his socks on ... and he always used to dictate what music we had on in my car. Nope.

beeefcake · 16/11/2018 15:11

Just say no. It's a great idea in theory but it causes problems.

What if you feel ill one day, or have to run errands before/after work.

Missingstreetlife · 16/11/2018 15:16

Think I would do it some days but not all

Miggeldy · 16/11/2018 15:16

Nope. Just say no.

Witchend · 16/11/2018 15:29

Perfectly fine to say "no, I often do other things before/after work, so I don't want to mess you around" (which is true-it's just you want to be quiet)

Three people is fine to car share if they want to.

poglets · 16/11/2018 15:33

No is a complete sentence.

UpstartCrow · 16/11/2018 15:34

No is not a rude word. Its OK to say no.

WhendoIgetadayoff · 16/11/2018 15:40

If you can afford not to then say no but think of £ saved
Can’t you come up with rota where you take part half time to save money and still time for you and stuff you want to do. You then at least trial it for while.
and you could say you’re very anti social in mornings So you’ll put headphones on. But if you’re dead against just say no.

needsahouseboy · 16/11/2018 15:40

God I'd hate this too. I hate anyone having to rely on me or having to rely on others. I have enough of that at work and inside the home.

I'd just say and that I really enjoy the 45 minutes peace and quiet and do things on the way home.

nevermorelenore · 16/11/2018 15:52

Carpooling is fine if people are reliable and not too chatty. I wouldn’t do it every single day, but a couple of days a week could save you a lot in petrol. I had a similar length commute and used to car pool now and again. It was nice to have the break from driving and I was less tired when I got to work.

But if it’s not for you then just saying no is fine. No excuse needed.

carrotflinger · 16/11/2018 16:26

If you don't want to, don't.
It's a good idea in principle but if you often don't go home then it's not practical for you.
If you didn't want to go straight home only a couple of times a month then the car pool could work - just say you are driving in on your own on those days - but if it's a couple of times a week then it won't work.

I did it for a while and one woman was late nearly every morning - I ended up getting into trouble at work because I was late - so I ended the car pooling arrangement.

DeadBod · 16/11/2018 16:31

I don't even car share with my good friend. I'm quite selfish and like to do as I please so I might pop somewhere after work on a whim and don't want to be tied.

InfiniteVariety · 16/11/2018 16:35

I would feel exactly as you do OP so would say no

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