To change nurseries

[No2palmoil]

My little one is not settling. He seems happy enough collecting him but drop off is awful he is scared and breaks his heart when I leave. He isn't like this when I leave him with family so it's not completely separation anxiety.

The nursery and I have tried everything g but he is just not happy. His behaviour has become unruly and uncontrollable. He seems hyper all the time. He has good routine everywhere else and nothing else has changed.

The nursery is extremely big 60+ children in the room. I think potentially it's just to busy for him and he is getting lost a bit in it all. The staff are wonderful and they are trying their best and I'm happy that he isn't being ignored or neglected more over stimulated by the sheer number of children coming and going.

I have a chance to transfer him to a very small nursery which he already knows and knows some of the staff so wouldn't be a complete change.

I'm just wondering how transfer/changes have gone with others that have moved their children to other nurseries. I'm so torn as it's such a well staffed and fun nursery I just don't think it's right for my wee boy. Help put my mind at ease if possible!!

Or tell me your horror stories. I know it's only us that can decide in the end, I just don't want to make it all worse for him Ashe is clearly not coping.

Long time poster, changed name as my other posts are really outing.

I would move him. DS has been very happily settled in nursery since he was 13 months but there is no way on earth he would cope in a room with that many children.

DS's nursery has a maximum capacity of 42 children spread over 3 rooms. He's not a boisterous child and is easily overwhelmed so a small setting really suits him.

The alternative nursery sounds great, I'd go for it!

I would move him if you really think the amount of children and the business of the room is upsetting him. Larger nurseries can be overwhelming for some children.

I work in a 45 place room with mixed group of 2,3 and 4 year olds with 7 staff. It is well managed and the children have smaller group time where they mix with children of similar age and ability. They all make friends and it works really well. We are lucky enough to have a large room and 2 smaller side rooms so any children who may feel a bit overwhelmed with the noise other children can go off into the quieter area.

Jesus 60 kids! No wonder he doesn't want to go. Can you imagine spending the day with 60 loud people! It would be incredibly overwhelming and stressful.
DS nursery has 6 in the baby room and 12 in the toddler room on their busiest days. It's a lovely wee nursery.

I work in a 45 place room with mixed group of 2,3 and 4 year olds with 7 staff.

Your ratios can't be right surely?

The sheer number of children and the fact that he doesn't see a familiar face every day would really put me off. I think you'd be wise to change.

60 seems a lot. But I don't necessarily think small is better, especially for younger babies. We were debating between two nurseries, one with 9 babies and the other with approx 20 babies (6 months - 2 years). The one with 9 babies asked me to move my 12 month old to a one nap a day schedule (when she is still needing 2 naps a day), whereas the bigger one divided the older and younger babies up into two groups at certain times during the day which allows the younger ones to keep to their normal nap schedule.

@TheLette a 12mo having 1 nap is nuts. DS still had 2 naps until he was 18mo. Still has a long nap at 2.5 as well. Our nursery have never asked us to do anything except tell them what we'd like them to do and what is normal for DS.
They are child led and follow an attachment caring style. He's only there once a week, they send us pictures of him during the day too. It's lovely. The staff will even babysit for you (obviously you arrange to pay them separately).

childminders are nearly always cheaper than nurseries as we don't have additional staff/ property costs.
It's basically more like having a nanny but the mess is in someone else's house!

Could you change to a childminder? He'll have the calmness of a home environment but still socialise with other children. Most CMs take the children to playgroups or the park every day.

My friend had a very similar issue when her son was that she - huge nursery (albeit very good) and her little boy was unhappy - he is a lovely boy but very quiet and he just found such a large room too overwhelming.

She moved him to a smaller preschool and he settled no problem and loved it. He transitioned to reception last year with no issue at all.

I would say trust your gut and move him - it just sounds like it doesn't suit him.

Change. I had a very similar situation with my son, he just wasn’t happy. He’s thrived in his small family-feel nursery. Wish I’d moved him sooner.

Jeese, there's 23 3-4 in total in DS's nursery and that's at full capacity, there's too many kidd, move him