To ask why people post pictures of their poorly children on social media?

[JokersRus]

Why?? Especially the children who end up in ambulances and/or hooked up to wires etc. I just don't understand it. I can understand maybe a picture to keep privately but why does it have to be plastered all over SM??

I don't like seeing kids in pain or suffering, especially when I've watched mine go through some awful things and the last thing I want to do, is post their distress over the net for likes and comments. It always seems to be the people that document every part of their life. Why????

I had to one of mine when he was off ill, the other day. This is its first public outing but I sent it to dh at work as Ds2 had him up from 3am.

There’s someone like this on a fb group I’m on. She’s attention seeking in general but when someone close to her like say, one of her children has been hospitalised for something or other she dutifully checks in to hospital on fb, usually with an accompanying photo of an ill child hooked up to something and and writes a load of medical jargon. It’s to remind us all that she has a medical background so when she predictably gets loads of “I don’t what all that means hun but hope Bob (not real name) gets well soon!” So she can explain it to all us thickos with a “haha sorry! Just comes naturally to me because of my job!”

I really need to block her. This has reminded me how annoying she is

Plus sometimes it turns into actual monetary help
We must have different friends. I got some colouring books and chocolate though 😁

Re jargon SHE might be doing it for effect but it does become hard to remember to layman term your childs issues when your main company for months is nurses and doctors

Not my friends at all!
But I have noticed it

"You ok hun"
Three words that seriously boil my piss.
Yes shes clearly ok as shes getting the attention she so desperately craves by posting a picture of her ill child instead of caring for them.
When my kids are ill all my attention is on them funnily enough. Not on friggin status updates

The important people were there or knew anyway.

This is why it's unnessesary.

If the child is actively bleeding etc then yes she should be caring for her child but you're ridiculous if you think parents shouldn't be allowed to step out to get air /food or pee whilst the other parent or medical proffestional is caring for the child

My friend's son had a horrible accident a couple of years ago. For the next few months pictures in hospital were the only pictures they could take. When I saw the first one I was so glad to see it because I was worried sick, I wanted to see how he was progressing, I wanted to be able to leave them supportive messages without constant texts that they might feel obliged to respond to. Now they have a page about his recovery. I hear stuff in person too, but they aren't going to repeat everything that happens to everyone who cares. This way I keep up to date in a low key way. It's similar to how I catch up with my former colleague's blog about her cancer.

Also the bad stuff is part of life. Why shouldn't we get attention aka a supportive message when bad stuff happens? That's what friends are for.

That's it Strawberry, contrary to MN ideology, actually people DO care, not just immediate family. And it's exhausting having to respond to every oen immediately, to say 28 times that he needs another operation or the prognosis is worrying etc

That's got nothing to do with putting photos on the internet though, has it?

"Little Timmy is doing fine/not doing so fine"

It doesn't have to be accompanied by a photograph that the child may not want on the internet, when they're old enough to make an informed decision.

Agree with Worraliberty - there is no need to put a photo of the child on to reassure people! We are told to teach our kids that what goes online stays online so think carefully - as parents we need to practice what we preach.

I've got lots of photos of my disabled dc in hospital. I wouldn't take one of them upset though and I only post on facebook the newborn ones and the ones when they are happily playing. It's mostly because to leave out the hospital ones would be weird. Hospital is a big part of their lives.

A friend is like this. My DP and her DH have been friends since primary school. Every day it must be 2/3 photos and statuses AT LEAST about the kids. She text the girls whatsapp to let us know about about her DHs problems bowel movements and testicular swelling ffs

My son has had multiple brain surgeries and other very complex surgeries. I haven't posted any pictures of him in hospital during those times or even mentioned that he has any issues. He also has special needs and I don't post about that either.

However, once when he got pneumonia and was in hospital I think I "checked" in. I am a single parent and particularly feeling lonely and isolated and I did want support so I'll admit to shamelessly checking in.

My son has a rare condition and there are many parents that do post their chidren's journey. Which I think is great, it's just not for me I feel it's my son's health information to share if he wants to.

Most parents that do post for awareness of the conditionals to get support and funding. I'm currently not comfortable doing that for my son as I believe he should have his own voice and when he wants to he can share.

I am immensely proud of him and am in awe of how much he deals with each and every day.

If anything - it reflects on you that youre still friends with them?

If it bothers you that much - maybe un-friend them? You dont know their circumstances. Maybe they're single and want some support though a difficult time. Maybe they have an international family and cant be bothered to text all of them so a quick SM update would suffice? Very judge of you OP.

How judgey of you. It's about sharing with friends and getting support.

This ^^

People can limit posts on FB you know! You might have been a selected few for that post.

I've had a seriously ill DD and was exhausted by constant messages about how she was as people found out in dribs and drabs. So we chatted and she did a smiley pic - her choice!- limited to her friends mums and our family. She agreed photo which was frankly cute.

We were glad we did and it really helped as she looked at all the immediate well wishes - the benefits of SM!- which cheered her up no end at a time SHE needed it! (Having been in and out of hospital and regularly off school.) After a while we went back and made the FB post private just to me so it no longer showed on FB, so that it was kept as a reminder of the love she had at the time but private.

My older DC have also proudly asked for picture of them in casts with a caption of their choice - eg " Fab service at A&E, hoping you'll all sign cast when X comes back to school 😁" so that people knew why they were off school, and then also would be off from football team and gym clubs, without me having to texts 20+ people. It resulted in offers of carrying DC's bags in readiness for school return and a whole lot of others who let their DC (DC's school friends) know so they watch out for them at school.

All my school mum friends do it too selectively, as it's the jungle drums to get help, bag carrying school dinner queuing done by DC friends when they are in crutches and lifts etc set up. Whilst school can ask if (for eg in secondary) many of their friends aren't in same classes, a heads up really early on can work wonders! Saves ringing round as the mums see it and let DCs know to go find their friend at school and offer to help.

Sharing your child's problems and getting support is completely different to sharing photos of them.

How many people on here would be happy if someone they knew and trusted, shared photos of them?

Not many I suspect.

So I take umbrage at the rude PPs that suggest i or my school mum friends that do same must be attention seeking (errr, I'm asking subtly for some support for my DC) or have a "low IQ" (just got a Masters and two other postgrad quals and pretty sure my IQ is fine! )

However, I don't post pics of my DC sad or uncomfortable at the time as that's private and I have their permission to taje a photo and before I post and what we post is for a purpose. We all use SM differently and have different privacy settings.

@WorraLiberty in the situations I've described my and friends DCs have asked for the photos and selected the privacy groups on FB. And it is sometimes better context with a photo than a comment of "she's fine but we're in hospital again" without a photo . Sometimes the DC's friends want to see that smiley photo of them too, as it's scary of your buddie is in hospital

One of my friends' DC is regularly hooked up.to various machines for treatments, and he is happy for his friends to be able to see him & join his journey as they cannot visit him. It reassures his friends and keeps them in touch with him.as he goes through it.

Of course he chooses any photo if there is one put up and can change settings on it later. Only douches take screenshots of ill children fb photos & these aren't open page ones.

I know my DD is glad to see her mate is doing well and when he lost his hair and weight, she was nonplussed when she saw him. It also kept his aunties abroad in touch.

It resulted in a better, far less lonely, experience for him on a long treatment journey as all his friends kept up to date via their mums FBs and posted him messages.

I.think it's too complex an issue to have people spouting overgeneralisations and inflexible rules that work for them but not others.

I have deleted quite a few people for the GP or hospital check in's or these kinds of photos!

I have a few old school friends on mine, who have done this and the child always looks distressed- I can't understand why you would think my child is scared and upset, let me take a photo.

My DD was very, very ill when she was a baby (from 2 weeks old to 3 yrs). I spent much of that time in a daze and never thought let me take a pic and put it on SM! I 'lived' at the hospital flat for a while, and didn't think 'let me check myself in'. I am a SP was alone for the majority of the day, and terrified for much of it. I understand having to let family know how they are doing but my sis set up a whatsapp group and close family and friends were kept updated through that.

I have never understood this....

The parents of well children post hundreds of photos of their children on social media. Are the parents of children with long term serious health problems not allowed to share the events in their children's lives too? Personally, I would consider, say, a "child's first smile after surviving brain surgery" photo to be more worthy of sharing than "child's first Halloween outfit".

It is really sad how judgmental people on here can be. On the one hand people complain about how those on social media only post about the positive, flashy, fake stuff and on the other they complain if something that might upset them goes on...because lets face it i think your concerns are probably more around your feelings of what constitutes distasteful rather than how the child will feel in the future.

If you don't like what a friend posts then unfollow them. Likewise when a child is older if they disagree with their pics being on social media they can ask for them to be removed.

I posted pictures of my child on the NICU, who almost died more than once during this time. I think you will struggle to find anyone who actually gives a toss how many likes they get when they are worried about their seriously sick or injured child. I did it because I wanted to share what we were going through and went through with friends and family who hadn't had the chance to see our baby, and to avoid having to relay the story time and time again and yes also for the support of my loved ones during what was a really harrowing time for our family.

For those who do judge parents like me as attention seeking, so want if we are? So what if it is some sort of cry for help? Cant you understand what a bad plave thst person is probaby in and that they might not even be thinking straight at the time. Perhaps you should try to give them some attention and see how they are doing during what will be the most terrifying and lonely time of their life, rather than moaning about it behind their back.

I mean seriously, what sort of society do we live in where we only feel comfortable with positive visuals of our friends lives and would much rather they censor their truly painful experiences from us to avoid being described as distasteful or attention seeking.

Ps I was going to apologise for all my typos and blame it on my fat fingers but I guess poor quality typing is to be expected from an attention seeker with a low IQ!

@Luckyreindeer1 Well said! (The first post, lol at second one )

My daughter is 5 and has been attached to wires / iv lines every day of her life so kinda just who she is
She took her first steps / first everything in hospital
However I have never taken a picture of her getting anything done as in ambulance / or doctors working on her etc
But I’m not hiding her away because she happens to be sick and I’m hospital