Arguing neighbours

8 replies

Smileyface32 · 16/11/2018 11:28

We have previously heard our neighbour argue with his wife in the middle of the night and using foul language. It then happened again at half 5 this morning. I get concerned for her but my OH tells me we can’t get involved.
We don’t have a good relationship with the neighbours and he had been abusive to us in the past so we don’t bother with them any more.
Just wanted thoughts. Would you call the police? Or let them get on with it? When it happens in the middle of the night it keeps us up because he is ranting, slamming doors or banging.
(I should also mention he has also sworn at our other neighbours and he isn’t a very nice man)

OP posts:

R3b3kah · 16/11/2018 11:34

From my experience, I called police on my old neighbours after many 6am fights them both screaming and hearing things crashing. Many times I seen her walk out the house with sun glasses when the sun is nowhere in sight.
I had enough of keeping out of it so I called the police... they came out... they did nothing, she had him back the next day.

Original poster

Smileyface32 · 16/11/2018 11:51

@R3b3kah did you’re neighbours know it was you that phoned the police? The last thing we want is for his to start on us if he knew we’d phoned

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R3b3kah · 16/11/2018 12:00

No they had no idea, probably know it was one of the neighbours but not exactly which one... I didn’t call again, police were useless and she couldn’t make her mind up if she wanted her ex or the other guy

bringbackthestripes · 16/11/2018 12:29

Is it just him shouting and swearing or she giving as good as she gets? Or do you hear her pleading/crying/sounding distressed?
TBH if she is shouting & swearing back they may just be an angry shouty couple and I would probably stay out of it. If it is very one sided then I would start writing it down but if I ever heard her in distress I would possibly phone.

Original poster

Smileyface32 · 16/11/2018 13:02

@bringbackthestripes it’s only the man we can hear. Can’t really make out her voice at all. I do think he drinks in the early hours. When he was ranting at us once she just stood there and didn’t step in at all. I get the feeling she just puts up with it while he shouts. On that occasion he threatened to hit his wife’s daughter (In her 30’s))for getting involved. I feel sorry for her having to put up with a vile man like him!

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bringbackthestripes · 16/11/2018 13:17

Oh that’s awful. Poor woman. You could endlessly report but if the police turn up each time and she says there is no problem I’m not sure what they could actually do? Hopefully someone who works in the right organisation will be along once everyone finishes work and can give you some excellent advice.

GottaGoGottaGo · 16/11/2018 13:26

Having worked on a police helpdesk and taken a few calls like the one you are thinking of making I would honestly say to not do anything. It may sound utterly callous, but from experience there is little the police can do unless they catch him in the act of hitting her or she tells them that herself and asks to make charges against him.

I would only ring the police if it is 100% clear that she is being attacked.

Sadly, if you call the police and they do visit, it may make it much worse for the poor woman as if he is being abusive then he may well take it out on her. And even more sadly, even if he gets taken into custody and she seems strong at first, wanting to press charges, a lot of women change their minds and will take the man back, repeatedly, as he will apologise and say he will change...

The only thing I can think for you to do, maybe is to try and befriend her when the man is not around and try to build up her trust enough to seek help but that may not be possible.

StitchKitty · 16/11/2018 13:45

My neighbours fight at all hours both screaming and slamming things, we live in a built up area so everyone can hear it, that and they usually bring it out onto the street.

If it sounds particular bad or is at an unreasonable hour i put a call into the non emergency number to report a domestic disturbance, they usually send a car pretty swift and they are usually one their way again fairly quickly. no one ever comes to get a statement so no one knows who reports it. if your worried report it every time and a log will build up and can be used against them incase things do go sour.

that and report a noise complaint to local council or authority. its not nice listening to people be aggressive all the time.

Flip