I have CPTSD and BPD with some histrionic tendancies and am also battling the effects of severe emotional and verbal abuse by a parent which went on my whole life.
I am in trauma therapy at the moment having had a couple years of Dialectical Behaviour T but I have a huge road block in my recovery which is that although I wasn't to blame as a young child for the abuse, my subsequent mental health issues caused my father to continue to treat me badly as an adult and yes I do blame myself for my acting out attention seeking behaviour which although was caused by illness was still why the bause continued.
I mentioned this on another thread and a poster responded saying about self compassion and it got me thinking, maybe I nee dto look into this?
My therapist is away next week but maybe the following week thiS is something I can ask them? My DBT skills tauhgt me basic self care which I am now stable enough to put into action- yay me!- but I feel I need to learn some skills which will enable me to deal with the gaslighting "voice" of my father which is still in my head
maybe I shoudl have posted in MH? I don't know.