Dd not come home

[stressedmum15]

20 year old dd went out last night and still not home . No message nothing .
I'm fuming with her to not let me know . Aibu ? I know she's a adult but she should know I worry , not slept well last night so I've got to go to work tired .
She's not in work till tonight so it's not she has to be somewhere.
My mind is over working what's happened.

I have a daughter the same age. Did you ask her to let you know if she was going to stay at a friend’s? She probably thought you’d be asleep & then off to work so no point texting you. No excuses but simply thoughtless.

Send her a message to check she is safe. When you see her say you hope she had a good night but you were very worried about her safety and in future please drop you a text to let you know that she is not coming home.

Quiet disappointment is always for effective than anger.

I have a nearly 18 year old and a 22 year old living at home at the moment. We talked about how we would live so they have autonomy and I have peace of mind, and we agreed that they would always message me when they got to wherever they were spending the night. DD has lived away, and would not have stayed out all night without letting her flat mates know, so she does the same at home. Partly for her own safety, partly because worrying someone unnecessarily is a dick move.

And I would do the same if by some freak chance I ever stayed out past about 9.30.

She's messaged to say she's fine will be home later . I can stop worrying now .
I'll tell her off tonight for worrying me .
Thanks for replying to me was stressing for a while

Glad she is ok.

Good news.

Glad she is ok. Like Bertrand we all have an agreement that we will let each other know where we are and when we will be back so as not to cause any worry - it seems to be basic courtesy to me.

20yo DS is very good at this, he texts when he is leaving and gives an ETA so I know if he is not home by then that I should worry.

I would imagine that she was just having fun and didn't even think that you would be worried.

I have adult dc who have their own homes and it's a worry, though I don't ask them to check in /out - but teens as home know I NEED to know the in /out arrangements - courteous, but mainly so I can sleep!!

Having lived with my parents as an adult, they would always ask me to let them know if I was coming home/staying out. It's just courtesy really. I can understand why you'd be a bit annoyed.

“I'll tell her off tonight for worrying me ”

Don’t tell her off. Just decide between you how you’re going to handle living together as adults. It’s a new phase!

Coming in late here, but I am glad she s is OK.

22 or not, you are gonna worry!

Thanks for the replies
Yes all ok she stayed with a friend .
I didn't tell her off but just said can you send a txt to say staying with a friend in future so I don't worry .
Said she will . She is quite sensible so was reassuring myself that but at the same time she usually txts if not coming home although it is rare .