To think 5 days was enough time for a reply?

[FeckingEll]

Sent an email recently, to a close relative I have been NC with for the last few years, offering an olive branch, suggesting to leave the past in the past (I was the wronged party BTW). Christmas coming up etc.

It was sent on a Wednesday. I was on complete tenterhooks waiting for a reply and it was unbearable. It took a lot to send it in the first place.

After 5 days, previous experience told me that I was probably not going to get a reply and I was pretty angry that I'd humiliated myself again so I sent another email basically saying fine, fuck you kind of thing.

I got an almost immediate response then saying that because of the email I'd just sent there was no hope of a reconciliation and it was all my fault etc.

So WIBU to not wanted to wait any longer for a reply I probably wouldn't have got in the first place!

How were you the wronged party?
And what was the olive branch like?

You got it Lord. Very odd that I got an immediate response to the 2nd email. What were the chances of her not receiving the first one, having no Internet access or time to respond but being able to receive and reply to the 2nd straight away?

I touched a nerve I know but the response I got back was 10 times worse.

Ah well, DC have decided that they're not interested in continuing to try to have a relationship with her now anyway.

I think an email is a pretty tawdry olive branch,

A card or a phone call may have a better response.

Actually my 2nd email was less of an outburst, more of a 'Your loss, if you cant see the impact your actions have had, then you need professional help' kind of thing.

I'm not allowed her number or address Speakout. Nor are my DC.

Better off nc. You were silly to push it, what response could you expect to 2cnd messsage. Sad. Just look forward

If someone offered me an olive branch, I'd think ''The proof is in the pudding'' I would take time to think about things and see what actually happened before I replied.

I think you shot yourself in the foot when you sent the second.

by sending the second It indicates to me, that whoever was at fault originally, you were not ready to move on, forgive and forget

Sounds like you are better off without her. I would expect my mum to reply pretty quickly. X

I say bollocks to her, it’s her loss. At least you can say you tried.

Sorry but I think YABU.

I also don't have contact with my mother. I received a letter from her 2 weeks ago. It's still sat on the kitchen table while I decide whether to open it or not. If it was followed up by a sarky email I'd be furious and would just bin it. Confirmation that there's nothing to save in my mind.

I'm assuming you cut off your mother Bollocks. Its a little different when you've been cut off yourself also a daughter contacting her mother not the other way round.

I'll never move on, or forgive or forget Jessbow but I was prepared to be polite if distant so when my DC met up with my mother a few times a year, they wouldn't feel so awkward and conflicted by me being banned from attending or from any conversation.

To be honest it sounds like she didn't want to reconcile and is using your second email to blame you. You shouldn't have sent it as you've given her a weapon now to beat you with, but what's done is done. Just go no contact again.

I have done this post not email. I waited 6 weeks though and phoned. Her reason she couldn’t think of anything to say . That summed it up for me.

I think the second none gave her an excuse to blame you.

And yes I do think 5 days is long enough for a mother to reply to her dd.

Yanbu tbh. She sounds like n arsehole

TBH it sounds like neither of you wanted to reconcile and are using the email to blame each other.

My phone's quite erratic and only syncs with my email every 30 days.

Yep she sounds like a dick. You and your kids are best off without her in your lives

Well I think YABU but I don’t blame you at all for it. Trouble is that you may well have been just played into that reaction and then ended up in the wrong just like usual, following a well worn family dynamic.

But kinda your fault for falling into the big black hole in front of you instead of walking around it iyswim?!

Yabu unless there is a drip feed, if you are not allowed her contact details as you say, what did you do to her?
That may have a massive bearing if yabu or not

Ha ha WellThisIs. You must be a kindred spirit. Need to walk down a different street don't I!

Yes, what did I do indeed Persephone.

I think it sounds like you're both better off without the other. Best outcome all round.