PND. Need help :(

[Cardiola]

I think I'm developing PND.

I feel like it's not taken very seriously, especially re DP. If I were in hospital with a physical problem I think he would be supportive. PND he can't see. I wish he would see it as a problem as serious as a physical one.

I don't know how to cope. I'm so happy with my baby, but have periods of intense anxiety and sadness.

It would be so much easier if i felt those around me saw it as I real serious illness. The reality is that I'm just plodding along and trying to hide how I feel because it's easy this way. Much easier than asking for support and not getting it...

Has anyone any advice? I feel really, really low. (I'll add, I love my baby dearly. He is my world. I don't know why I feel like this, but I am so, so thankful for him).

I'm sorry your feeling so low, have you been to see your GP to talk about this OP?

How old is your baby?

@GreatDuckCookery I haven't talked to anyone about it. I talked to my midwife at week 1 but she said it's likely baby blues.

DC is 4 weeks old on Monday...

Sweetheart, don't struggle in silence. Speak to a HV, or your GP. Get help, speak to other new mums. PND is real and you are brave to already admit to yourself something isn't right. Of course, hormones can also play a part. But get someone non-biased to listen to you and be open about how you feel. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Hang in there!

I think seeing your GP as soon as possible would be wise so these feelings of anxiety don't spiral.

If you tell the receptionist the reason you need an appointment hopefully they will get you soon quickly. Can you ring today?

I think you should speak with your public health nurse or GP. They should take this very seriously. PND is very common so they should be on the lookout for this and ready to help you.

You don't say how old your baby is but DP may be tired and overwhelmed being a new parent and missing your cues when you're trying to communicate your depression to him. You need to have a proper discussion with him. You might find this easier after having spoken to the doctor or nurse and getting advice on your care plan.

@GreatDuckCookery I could ring now. I'm just a bit nervous to. When I was in the thick of baby blues, DP just keep asking 'why are you crying' - he didn't get it. I'm scared he won't understand this either. I don't know why I'm so worried about his reaction as he's a lovely person. I guess I feel like I'm going to be a nuisance. Since having DC my confidence has plummeted.

I’m sorry that you are feeling like this. It is very difficult not being taken seriously and everyone ‘oh dear, its just baby blues’.

I know it feels like you’re not being taken seriously but I would recommend that you tell someone like your dr or your midwife exactly how you feel.

What you feeling is totally normal. Youve just had a baby. You hormones are all over the place, you have lack of sleep and a Huge new responsibility. However you are amazing mum who has recognised that you might need some support. Nothing woring in that. Those first few weeks are vvvv hard and emotionally draining. Contact your midwife, hv or gp and tell them. Our local children centre was amazing supporting a friend of mine. Seeing other mums, your family can help but sounds like you might need some professional help. Giving you a huge hug and a hand to hold whilst you contact the midwife, hv etc xxxx

Hey, don’t worry. Go and see gp. They are amazing. They will refer you to the perinatal mental health team. Someone will visit you at home and chat to you and evaluate what path is best for you. Don’t worry, they are not expecting you to want to lob your baby out of the window!! They are really lovely people who completely understand physical and emotional changes after baby is born. I received bundles of support. Also, they didn’t ram tablets down my throat. They discussed it and gave me all the options so I could choose. They support you until baby is 1 I think, so you’re not just dropped. Hang in there. You’re really not alone and it’s absolutely not a refelection of you as a person. Your dh can’t see how your feeling, so it’s harder for him to gauge. If you coping as a mum etc, he’ll just think, your coping so what’s to feel sad about.

Your GP will not think you're a nuisance but will be really glad that you've come to him/her for support. Just by talking to them about how you're feeling will help you feel like a weight has been lifted.

If you don't feel up to going to the GP how about ringing your HV? Please don't sit on this OP from personal experience it doesn't go away on its own but with the right help, support and possible medication you can feel so much better.

Please go and see your GP, they see this all the time. It's nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about, and it is important for you and your baby that you get some help.

You're not a nuisance and even though your partner may not understand right now he will start to in time.

I worried as you did for all the same reasons and struggled along with PND for months. It all came to a head one day and I went to my GP and got help. It was the best thing I ever did and I wished i'd done it sooner. My GP was supportive and kind, just as yours will be. He prescribed me anti-anxiety medication and it helped so much. You've nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Please call OP. Best to be seen earlier and it not be too bad rather than wait until breaking point.

Oh OP. I was you. It will pass but you need support to make that happen. In the first instance, your GP might suggest some treatment (other than medication) which is easily accessible and works. Please do not think you're a nuisance. Baby needs the 'best' you.

Thanks everyone. I've left a message with HV so hopefully they'll get back to me soon... just staring at my boy. I love him soooo much which makes this a little easier...

PS When I expressed some suicidal thoughts to my DP, he said something like 'why don't you just do it then'🙄...they, in the main, don't get it.

Well done OP. Mind yourself x

That's good news OP. Let us know how you get on x

How are you doing OP?