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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU - baby poonami

79 replies

hatespickinganame · 15/11/2018 14:15

I know there are a few of these threads, but its been playing on my mind a bit all day.

Not going into too many details - I was out shopping with 6m baby and she had a poo (was obvious from smell). I trundle off to the baby change, which is located in the disabled loo.

Turns out, since we have just started weaning, it was a monstrous explosion that had gone, quite literally, everywhere. I strip her off and attempt to clean her up whilst trying to keep hands and feet from spreading the poo even further - I'm sure you can imagine.

Anyway, about half way into this there is a knock on the door. I shout an apology that my baby has had an accident, and I am trying to clean her up as quickly as possible. A few minutes go past and there is another knock on the door. I manage to open it (its right next to the table), to apologise again and demonstrate I am not just obstructing the loo for the sake of it. The elderly gentleman on the other side looks vaguely horrified - he isn't rude at all (doesn't really say much) but gives me a look that makes me feel like I am the worst and most inconsiderate person in the world at that moment.

I have assumed IWNBU at the time, as I'm not sure what else I could have done - aside from clearing out the loo and holding my smelly, naked daughter at arms length whilst he used the facilities. Is there anything else I could have done? I was in there for 15-20 mins cleaning her up, which I recognise is a long time to block use to the only disabled loo.

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 15/11/2018 15:00

I would imagine that if you had been in there for 10 minutes or so (you said he knocked about halfway through) then perhaps he really was just checking there was actually someone in there. He may have thought the engaged sign was wrong and was considering trying to push the door open. I don't think you need to assume he was telling you to hurry up, particularly if he clearly went elsewhere and left you to it.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 15/11/2018 15:04

Ywnbu.
However - 15-20 mins is crazy. I know that with a first baby things are slower, but you do need to find a way to speed it up.Even getting completely naked and wiping the whole body and a new change shouldn't be more than 10 mins...

bellinisurge · 15/11/2018 15:09

Op, you shouldn't feel under time pressure. You do what you have to do with your baby in that situation in the only place that shop deemed appropriate. Sometimes it takes longer.

Newdadofgirl · 15/11/2018 15:15

YWNBU what else could you have done? Nothing worse than a sh*t disaster.
Plus WTF was he doing knocking on the door anyway? I there a time limit I am not aware of?

Spanglyprincess1 · 15/11/2018 15:16

20 min can happen my baby poonami and I changed him and he poonami again half way through!!! Was horrible and stinky and the wipes ran out halfway through so I had to use his socks and the sink!
It was hiddeous and I think as a first time mom I may have had a little cry. Yanbu but I agree I hate disabled loos with baby changing. You have to ask for the sodding keys every time and it's not ideally for the other users as there is only every one loo!

Talith · 15/11/2018 15:20

My first baby had a big one whilst in the baby seat in the shopping trolley in WAITROSE. It went everywhere. There wasn't a public toilet so ended up mopping it all up on the backseat of my car with the three wipes left in the pack. It took longer than 15 minutes I'm sure!

You weren't being unreasonable.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 15/11/2018 15:22

If it's the only accessible loo then knocking isn't rude, it can be hard to tell if someone is in there.
Also, many disabilities can make it very hard to wait, if they really can't manage a regular toilet/cubicle, are desperate, struggling to hold it i can understand an "I'm really desperate to use this facility" knock, particularly if they are panicking about an accident which is far more embarrassing for an adult.
There's far too many people who take the piss using them without an actual need but rather a preference, and often there is only 1 accessible loo.
You weren't unreasonable, but i do hope he wasn't left struggling in a regular loo or having an accident elsewere when it was apparent you'd still be a while

Purpleartichoke · 15/11/2018 15:25

If you think all of these incidents can be sorted in 5 minutes, you have never experienced an extreme poonami. I’ve dealt with some that were so massive and sticky, it took 10 minutes of active showering and scrubbing the baby to get them clean. Wipes would have been a joke.

oP, you did the best you could in bad circumstances. I wouldn’t worry about it any more.

Becca19962014 · 15/11/2018 15:25

It's happened to me, as in literally me as an adult and I got treated the same way. I had someone report me to customer services once for taking too much time.

Some people assume accessible toilets will be available when they need them. The fact is there are people whose disabilties mean they will take a longer time - I do and unless I'm fortunate enough there is no queue someone will comment.

Original poster
hatespickinganame · 15/11/2018 15:27

It probably makes me seem even more inept at changing and cleaning, but its my second baby. I swear, I have never experienced poo like this before though. It was everywhere - it went through all her clothes - one side of her pram was sodden with it I couldn't pick her up without getting it all over my hands. It had come out the side and down one leg as well as up her back and her tummy a bit. She kept trying to grab everything and roll off the table, while sticking her hands in it and trying to suck her thumb. Seriously there needed to be 3 of me...

OP posts:
Newdadofgirl · 15/11/2018 15:28

I also think that 10-20 minutes for a proper sh*t nightmare is more than reasonable. On a good day it takes me 10 minutes to establish there isn't an emergency service to call for help, another 20 minutes to stop throwing up and crying, and perhaps at least 30 minutes and a few packs of wipes to actually get her clean. So you did well!
(It does not actually take as long as I suggest, I am attempting to be humorous MN)

Original poster
hatespickinganame · 15/11/2018 15:32

@almostajillsandwich - yes, I also very much hope I didn't leave him in a awful situation :(

OP posts:
BunsOfAnarchy · 15/11/2018 15:35

YANBU

However, YABU for using the word poonami Grin

AGHHHH · 15/11/2018 15:36

You used the baby changing facility to change your baby. YANBU.

Original poster
hatespickinganame · 15/11/2018 15:37

would you prefer poonado?

OP posts:
ReflectionsofParadise · 15/11/2018 15:41

YANBU

But you wbu to take 20 minutes Confused Strip. Bag clothes. Wipe front and back. Remove nappy. Wipe again. New nappy. New clothes. You litterally wipe away the worst and then wipe down each limb then one quick wipe over. 5 baby wipes. Even for a poonami.

Why does that take 20 minutes? I'm confused.

IJustLostTheGame · 15/11/2018 15:45

Actually YABU.
It wasn't a poonami. Poonami poos sort of tidal wave out once you open the nappy.

It was a poocano. They just spurt out everywhere in one delightful eruption.
And take aaaages to clean up.

GreenMeerkat · 15/11/2018 15:50

YWNBU!

You had to use the facilities available and that's where they were!

highinthesky · 15/11/2018 15:51

My first baby had a big one whilst in the baby seat in the shopping trolley in WAITROSE. It went everywhere. DD had this too at 6 months. The first signs were a fast-growing yellow stain and a big smile.

I haven't wiped a baby's bum for ages and miss it. Its only those that haven't had contact with kids or pets that mind.

TheCbeebiesYellowBlobs · 15/11/2018 15:54

YANBU to use the designated baby change.

It can definitely take 20 minutes for a real poonami, and I usually take less than a minute in ideal poo conditions. 💩

Dahlietta · 15/11/2018 15:56

I haven't wiped a baby's bum for ages and miss it.

If you provide your rough location, I'm sure plenty of posters who are nearby would be happy to PM you to come round Grin
You're unlucky, OP. My two were the other way round. First one was like this, so I was all prepared for the second. Not a single poonami, poocano, nothing. All very civilised, plus he only poos at home!

OutPinked · 15/11/2018 15:59

You had no other option. Many stores put their only changing facility in only the disabled loo, that isn’t your fault. I’ve been in this position myself umpteen times before, it can’t be helped.

Jaguar2017 · 15/11/2018 16:00

20 minutes! Did you stop halfway through for a fag break?

SoupDragon · 15/11/2018 16:08

5 baby wipes. Even for a poonami.

Only if you do a really shit job.

Eliza9917 · 15/11/2018 16:25

Disabled toilets normally have tall toilets. You should have held the baby bum & legs first down the toilet and flushed it then you'd have been done in super quick time!