re 'why does it bother you'

[justfloatingpast]

This is a forum for discussing general stuff, seeking opinions, having a moan etc.

Yet invariably you will have someone coming onto a thread asking 'Why does it bother you OP'?

It's on a par with 'have you nothing else to worry about'?

Usually the OP has posted quite calmly, is just seeking opinions, or wondering if something that she finds unusual is actually considered quite normal by other people and so on.

But some posters like to make out they're frothing at the mouth, anguishing over it, or thinking obsessively about it.

AIBU to find this bloody annoying.

And a gold star to the first person to post "Why does this bother you so much OP "

"I think there is a difference between being curious and being judgy though. Being curious and interested is one thing and it’s fine to seek clarification and others point of view being judgy about someone doing something that has no impact on you whatsoever is just mean girl playground behaviour. Who cares if some has their Christmas decorations up they like them it’s their house. Who cares that my ds puts on a onsie after swimming in the winter? He’s warm and happy it’s dark and the car is 10 feet away from the pools door. These things have no impact on anyone else.
The people posting those types of threads are just doing it to feel superior and I don’t think it does any harm to put it back on them maybe get them to look at themselves a bit."

I'm not really sure what you're saying. On the one hand you're saying it's okay to be curious, but then you give a list of stuff people post about and just say it's none of their business, who cares and they all just want to feel superior about themselves.

YANBU. I also hate "how odd" and "how strange". It's just so unpleasant and "othering".

It does seem a bit of a put-down to me - as in, you shouldn't have started this thread. Two more Mumsnetisms that make me groan are "You sound like hard work" and "I couldn't get past . . " (some completely inoffensive word or expression the OP has used).

Yes ! I really agree with this- it's a DISCUSSION forum, yet some posters just want to seem to shut you down immediately. It's often not even on contentious issues- just something trivial like you might discuss in the break room at work. It's such a strange thing as they are on a discussion forum, so why don't they discuss it or leave?/??

The OP isn't saying it's any of their business, just that it's something they find unusual. Do posters in real life only ever discuss or chat about things that are strictly their business?

I agree with this - sometimes we can think things and discuss them and just agree to disagree - but on here, it turns so quickly into nastiness at times

Because ‘why does it bother you?’ is a more polite version of ‘what the fuck is your problem twatbadger?’

I really agree with this- it's a DISCUSSION forum

And so it is. But indicating that you think the OP is overreacting/over sensitive/terribly silly is part of the discussion...

As it would be in the break room.

"I don't see why it matters."

This right here ^^ what does this bring to a discussion?? NOTHING!! Your just a sitting on your high horse looking down your nose.

If you put something like "I don't see why it matters....(reason for way you think it doesn't matter)" I would get it, but you don't it's just a throw away comment which is pointless and brings nothing to the thread 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

Nona

definitely- but sometimes on here it's a bit of a pile on at times

True crochet though I find that can work both ways. You can find as many people winding an OP into righteous indign

Oops!

I meant to stay there’s as many threads where everyone likes in agreeing that the OP has been terribly wronged and winding them up to fever pitch because it’s an entertaining soap opera type of thread as you can find pages of people tell the OP they’ve behaved outrageously.

Neither type of thread is particularly helpful to the OP. A little polite balance is a good thing.

Thank goodness some else hates "gaslighting" which is the latest buzz word used every time some tells someone else they are wrong!!

And the "Why does it bother you?" is, I agree, pointless and usually used to show disdain.

As creatures we are social and what others do will affect us even if only slightly, but eventually, cumulatively it will.

I totally agree MrsReacher1.

Some posters seem to think we should all live in bubbles and not wonder about or be affected by anything outside our immediate little world.

But things like, for instance, people starting to put up their Christmas trees earlier and earlier or spending shedloads of money on Santa presents and Christmas parapharnalia does gradually change the nature of Christmas for people, because we're all part of the same society.

I've commented something along the lines of 'Why does it bother you?' earlier today on the thread about a nanny who eats with OP's children. I just for the life of me don't get why this is something to be concerned about and then I think, well, maybe it's me who is being dim because to me it's a non-issue but should it be?

Slightly different, but I had someone anonymously message me on here because I had a moan on a thread. I even said I knew I was being unreasonable about it.

But I was properly told off for it. And I don't even know who it was; they changed their username.

I actually find it amusing the amount of people who go to the trouble to post on a thread to let the OP know they don't find their thread interesting:

"Why have you bothered to start a thread about this"
"Oh, not this again"
"Have you nothing more important to worry about"
"I think you need to find a hobby".

I mean, if you start to read the OP and realise 'I'm not really interested" just stop reading and close it. No need for supercilious responses. I actually think it's those posters who have too much time on their hands.