To want to dig a large hole and put my hv in it?!!!!!

[mamabear2b]

RANT/ADVICE ALERT

My ds is now nearly 13 weeks old, was born 6lb 5 with no complications and is now 10lb 2 but hv isn't happy about his weight gain and every time I see her she bugs me about what I'm eating (loads by the way,as bf) how much water I'm drinking and how long he feeds for...it's driving me mad!!!!

He's a happy contented baby but does still feed every 2 hours from both sides, the feeds only take about 20 minutes in total but he seems satisfied and theres nothing left as I check by using the b/pump. I did try to stretch the feeds to three hours last week but he only put on 5oz so am back to 2 hours again.

I've become a bit of a stress head about it all now and can see why women end up switching to formula!! How often and for how long does everyone else feed for?

I had all this. DS tumbled down the centiles big-time. He didn't even 'perform' well according to the BF charts. He had (and still has) skinny thighs (it didn't seem to adversely affect how he took his injections BTW). You could count his ribs, and still can. His arms were and are weedy. But he was meeting all his milestones. Even now, at nearly 2, he eats more than his little buddies, but is significantly skinnier than all of them. Personally, I am green with envy and wish that I, too, could eat my own bodyweight and remain slim.

I have already warned the HV that with the next baby, she is most unlikely to see very much of me, if anything! She was not surprised - apparently most second-time mothers are much less likely to pop baby on the scales. Which makes me wonder why the HVs don't put 2 and 2 together and realise that perhaps their obsessing with charts and scales is somewhat counter-productive!

Hi
yes agree with previous posters - don't go.
I saw HV precisely ONCE with my third ( and last) babe which was a developmental check at about 18 months as I just wanted an independent view on how she was doing.
Some HV's are brilliant (like my previous one who researched ASD like a woman possessed as soon as son got diagnosis) others do what I call a 'tick the box' which is that as long as when you have left they can note that they have lectured and advised you on something they have filled their quota. My DD's HV was the latter type so I just didn't go. This stuff isn't compulsory - it is optional and supposed to be their to support you. If it isn't doing that then don't go.

He's fine Mama.
These people are not authorities on this stuff. However, my HVs were lovely. I never had anyone work out my babies centiles until one day i saw the chart and asked out of interest.

Just had lots of encouragement and b/f support.

I agree with all that's been said my son was 9lb 1oz and was on the 75th percentile but from about 12 weeks dropped off this percentile and HV just bugged me about it. He went down and down and got to the point where helath visitor was referring him to a peadeatrician (sorry for spelling!) she then went on sick leave and i saw another HV who asked was he weeing and pooing (Oh good god he was) and was he an active baby? Which he was/is as he never sits still. She said he must have a high metabolic rate looked at me -size 10 and said he takes after you....
From then on I never got him weighed as it was far to stressful...

Why do they give us these bloody charts as all babies are different, eat different amounts, move more or less than others. Remeber the charts are based on the 'average' baby to which there is no 'average'!!

Btw he's now a VERY active 3 year old who eats meat/veg and tons of fruit....

Also, don't forget;

We didn't have charts or health visitors when we lived in caves and we managed to survive!!!

Instinct is an amazing thing.....

Your boy is doing just fine. Babies are so individual. You should go with your instincts and carry on listening to what your baby is telling you. You're doing brilliantly.

My DS was constantly feeding until about four months. It was pretty wearing but he seemed to need to. He was off the top of the centile charts which the HV couldn't understand as apparently breastfed babies are never up at that level because they're never that heavy.

Although HVs can be annoying, they've not got much else to go on beyond the centile charts. I guess they just think they've got the child's best interests at heart. Does it go back to that silly old fashioned notion that all babies should be very plump and podgy?

You're probably right about the chubby baby syndrome, all the congrats cards I got had chubby smiling babies so I s'pose that's become the inbuilt idea of a 'happy healthy baby'.

I can see you point about charts being the only thing hv have to go on but I don't think taking a holistic approach is that hard, after all I'm slight build and short whilst my husband is skinny and tall, she's been to the house and seen us both..I'm not a trained health professional but even I know that genetics play a large part in a child's physical stature!

Good to hear about all the thriving little skinny ones out there though, very reassuring

im a hv, no kids yet, i lurk on the conception bit. i think the problem is that years ago hv's were given these charts and all were happy. that was 11 years ago and things have changed. i always look at the baby. if they are feeding, sleeping, peeing,pooing and developing all tends to be ok. i get so annoyed when my colleages see my clients and scare the shit out of them about weight.
there are 'thrive lines' produced by the child growth foundation, ask your hv about these. they are acitates that you can put over the red book to deterime whether a child is thriving or not. i doubt they will have heard of them.
ignore the old boot. if you are happy with your little just keep doing what you are doing. you have no legal obligation to see us! xxx

Cheers welshprincess, maybe that's the problem my hv is, shall we say, no spring chicken so it could be that she's always done it this way and people didn't question it in the olden days of yore!

Got to take some responsibility for my reaction to stuff about ds, I understand it now when my mum warned me I'd be more sensitive to peoples comments about him...to the point of wantng to poke them in the eye!

mamabear2b: I'm only posting because my DS is virtually the twin of yours. He's coming up for 13 weeks, was 6lb 4oz at birth, and is now 11lb 1oz.

No-one has suggested I should worry about him, and he's obviously a healthy, happy, active little baby.

Join us on the March postnatal thread if you like.