To assume an imaginary friend is ok?

[RussellTheRaven]

DS 7. Has started talking about a boy from school and telling other relatives about him. He has admitted to me this boy doesn't exist. I've asked "is he the kind of friend he'd really like to have?" DS said yes. This isn't anything to worry about is it?

So as not to drip feed, DS is under investigation for ASD. He has lots of friends but struggles with the social communication and interactions side of things. Gets very upset when rules are not followed etc.

It's perfectly ok to have an imaginary friend. My DB had one called Mr Timmins. He had his own place at the table, cutlery glass etc. They went everywhere together. My DB talked to him all the time. My DM would read a bedtime story to both of them. DB had a sit in toy car. He and Mr T would sit side by side and have many adventures.

One day DB stopped talking to Mr T. I asked DB where he was, and he said that Mr T had told him he was a big boy now and Mr T needed to spend time with other lonely boys.

I think DB had Mr Timmins because he is my youngest brother and there was a big age gap. Mr T filled the void.

My DB had an imaginary male cat, which had kittens. He grew out of it after a couple of years. I wouldn't be worried at that age.

I think it is very common. I wonder, if DS struggles a bit with communication, whether the imaginary friend fulfils a role where he responds in a way DS expects, so that their interaction is always satisfying/smooth? Or maybe the opposite, and it is a way for DS to 'practice'when the other person is difficult?

Just a couple of thoughts, and I could be way off beam. It will be serving some kind of purpose, though. But nothing to worry about, I wouldn't have thought.

My DD is nearly 7 and has several imaginary friends, although fewer than she had a couple of years ago. They are often her 'sisters' (she's an only child). I am expected to include them in conversations etc following my dd's cues. I have always put it down to my DD having a very good imagination

Your son is perfectly normal. Sweet little chap. Just listen and cuddle him. He will be just fine.

Very normal. At about age 6 my kid had an imaginary friend. Reportedly his name was Albert

Usually you see imaginary friends in the preschool years but if your son is possibly on the autistic spectrum you may see imaginary play developing later.

I had an imaginary friend and an imaginary dog. 40 years on I sometimes wonder what became of the friend when she grew up ... I like to think she is an imaginary mumsnetter with a fabulous life

Imaginary friends are very common. My DSis had one, and my DS had several!

DS is now 16, and a few months back I was reminiscing about his imaginary friends and reminding him that he used to play Connect4 with one of them, Henry. DS said, "I would always win, then". "No, you didn't", said I. "Henry was very good at Connect4 and you usually lost!"

@Pieceofpurplesky

Yes, my DS wondered what his imaginary friends were all doing now!

My oldest couldn't pass spinal cord phone without making a call to Emma to check she was ok!

I think it's quite normal for small children,to have imaginary friends,
My two offspring are in their 40's now, but when very young, I always read them bedtime stories,which I had written myself. Reading to my daughter one night, she was maybe 5 years old then,, she suddenly said, mum,can my friend be in this story, I said which friend can we have then, so she said,well her name is Trudy, and she likes playing with me in the garden. So I said. does she live in our village, so she said, no, she lives 200 miles away with her cat, and she will be here tomorrow . So the invisible Trudy came into the story..

So no Trudy in our village, and daughter would not comprehend 200 miles anyway. I think the" friend" went away a few months later.

My son who is four years older, used to really rib his sister about this " stupid friend" so my daughter used to say to him, well shut up then. and Mum isn't going to put my friend in the stories she read to you.

Thanks everyone for your replies, it's very reassuring. I think he is playing out what a perfect friendship would be like. He's also confessed to telling all his friends at school that his dad drives a Ferrari (not a Fiat) and that he's getting an iPhone X! I think he's enjoying his imagination at the moment!

DD has an imaginary friend called Lila, who also had a place at table etc.

One day I realised Lila hadn't been mentioned for a while so enquired after her. DD said Lila had died.

Oh, now I have an incredible urge to watch the movie "Drop dead Fred".

(Dammit, why did Rick Mayall have to die in such a young age? When I heard he was dead I thought to myself "Oh no Rick is dead. Rick, the people's poet is dead".)

I had an imaginary friend called Cherry who fell off the back of the Coronation Coach in 1953.

I had several for quite a few years. They were called Gocky, Doody, Rofie and Auntie Penny. The boys lived in the hedge, and Auntie Penny lived in a nearby oak tree. I've turned out ok.

If it helps any OP I can still remember what my imaginary friend looks like 😬😂