Long post warning. Looking for some advice.
A couple of months ago I went home to visit family for a few days. Over the course of the weekend I tried to fill in both my mother and my sister about my mental illnesses. I have depression and anxiety and my family aren't particularly clued up on mental health issues. Some things caused some tension but for the most part we were all on the same page.
On the very last night of being at home I was staying in my mother and her boyfriends house. We were all watching big brother and the whole thing about that girl from Glasgow getting kicked out for racist tweets came up. We ended up having a discussion about what was and wasn't classed as racism and then somehow got on to homophobia (I'm gay). Both my mother and her boyfriend tried to argue that the phrase that's so gay was an ok phrase to use while I tried to explain to them that it was homophobic language. I never once said either of them were homophobic. Now the whole thing got very heated and my mother's boyfriend ended up shouting at me, became very intimidating and actually quite scary. It got to the point where he verbally and emotionally abused me and mocked me as if I was a child, all while calling me a child, weak and telling me how I couldn't be depressed because I went to work everyday. Now all this led to me having multiple panic attacks and my mother didn't really do anything throughout the whole thing. While that in itself sucks it was the aftermath that really got to me. A few days after I got home my mother sent me a letter on facebook continually defending her boyfriend. Telling me he wasn't a negative person, (which was in response to me saying he was having a negative impact on my mental health) that they weren't racist, and they weren't homophobic. She completely twisted all of my words and made me out to be the bad person when I was the one who came out the worst from all of this.
After the letter she kept messaging me telling me that coming home obviously didn't agree with me, that my medication for my mental illnesses weren't working because I'd had panic attacks and I was arguing with someone. That she would like to come over here, come to the doctor with me and review my medication. All of this has really badly affected me and at the end of the conversation I ended up unfriending her on facebook which led to her calling me childish. A bit later I blocked her after she kept bombarding me with messages.
Since blocking her she has continued to send me texts, whatsapp messages, get my sister to contact me about it, get my dad (who she doesn't speak to at all) to contact me about it, snapchat me. At one point I told her that I would contact her when I was ready but that I didn't really want to talk to her right now after all of this. For a while she seemed to listen to this until my sister asked me if I still wasn't ready to talk to her, which I thought was clear since I hadn't messaged her yet which I told my sister. After those messages my mother snapchatted me saying "by the time you decide to talk to me I might be dead".
Her latest message says that she's sent me numerous messages asking how I am etc. (which isn't really true, she sent two messages saying have a good day, the rest all were morning or passive aggressive morning..... again, messages) and I saw that as bombarding me with messages from different avenues (which I agree with). Telling me if she ignored me I would see that as her not caring. She's said that she's my mother and she deserves respect (I don't feel like I've been given any respect in this situation at all). She then told me that life is short and she doesn't know if I'll ever talk to her again but to put the past behind us and move on.
She hasn't actually acknowledged my feelings or my health or anything that I've actually said. I feel like all she's done is try to twist things around and make me out to be the bad person in all of this and she wants us to just move on without anything being resolved. I had already told her that I wouldn't speak to or have anything to do with her boyfriend after how he treated me but she hasn't really acknowledged that either.
The whole thing has skyrocketed my anxiety and I'm not really sure how to deal with it all. The more she's messaged me and not respected what I've asked for the less I've wanted to talk to her at all, but everyone in my family is like oh well she's still and will always be your mother.
I suppose I just wanted to see what someone else's take on the situation is. Any advice on what I should do? Am I the one being unreasonable? I've tried to include everything and I know it's very rambly but there wasn't really a way to condense it all down.