To ask you to help me decide about working hours?

[Merryoldgoat]

I am a Finance Manager - I work 24 hours a week and will be going back from maternity leave in January.

I have a 5yo in Year 1 - he has HFA. Currently coping ok with school but needs quite a lot of input.

Baby will be 11 months.

I usually work 8hrs Tues/Wed/Thurs and that’s been a very nice balance. CM did wrap around care and older DS was very happy with her. This will change. The plan is to use after school club for older DS and CM for baby until he gets the 30 hours.

I could keep this arrangement but I’m worried about both of them being out of the house 10 hours a day, esp the older who needs a fair bit of downtime. Those 3 days will be very tight time-wise - finish around 5.15, dash back to collect from after school club and then baby then home around 6.30. Immediate dinner, bath, bed etc.

I’m worried it will be frantic and I’ll not cope so well.

I could go down to 5 short days allowing me to pick up older DS from school.

However, I’m not sure - I worry about not getting ‘into’ stuff in such short days at work. I will have no time to myself. This is key. I’m suffering from PND and about to go on anti-depressants.

I’m not sure if three frantic days with two relaxed ones is better than 5 relaxed ones.

There’s a bit of flexibility in that DH could do drop offs so I could work 8-4 and do a slightly earlier pick up, but he’d be home an hour later then each night, so 7.30 ish which isn’t ideal.

I honestly don’t know which is best.

Any parents out there who’ve done it and can give some insight/advice!

Could you do 4 shorter days? I used to work 4 full days and switched to school hours over 5 days. It is tricky (and I would now give my right arm for a day off each week...)

I have extremely similar situation to you and have stuck to 3 full days. The 3 days are crazy but I didn’t want to miss out on full days with the 1 year old and if I had switched to 5 short days it would have been hard to get childcare for the 1 year old without paying for lots of hours I don’t need.

Won't the ASC/CM feed the DC? Then you only need a quick snack at most before bedtime.

Obviously you've chosen to move older DC for a reason, but I wonder if the CM might provide more downtime options for him, than an ASC?

I would stick with the 3 full days. You have 4 full days off work then.

If it were me, I would do Mon/tues/thurs/fri, 6 hours each day. Yes a long weekend is nice but this way you'd only be doing two shorter days at a time with a break in the middle. When I compressed my hours to 4 days, I loved having a midweek day off to recharge. Also, at 6 hour days your evenings won't be rushed, but 6 hours is long enough to get things done at work.

I have done the five short days

Pros - no childcare needed for school age dc, always there for pick ups, quite available at work as in work every day, ‘best of both worlds for school age dc as I was always there but we also had my income and lower costs.
Cons - doing mornings, school run, commute then starting work and then reverse it all at the end of the day left me feeling like I was always rushing and was stressful

Thank you all for you input - nice to have the perspective from people who have the experience.

CM doesn’t do dinner which is a frustration.

I chose AFC for older DS as I felt like he might like a bit more time with friends/older children. I’ll reconsider that.

The more I type and think, the more I think 5 short days would be better for the boys.

I’d rather keep the 5 though. 4 isn’t enough if either - it’s still rushing about and lots of childcare.

Can you drop hours at all? I do 21 hours over 4 days, works well as I still do drop offs (breakfast club) and can do pick ups and have one day off with the little one. Days are long enough to get into things, but I still feel that I see the kids each day when they have food.

I would stick with 3 days. What is your plan for school holidays. Only having to pay for 3 days holiday club would swing it for me. My children seem to have lots of Fri/Mon in service days as well as all the local bank holidays which fall on a Monday. You may be able to attend some sports days, assemblies, concerts etc.

Also my employer was able to offer me some flexibility in my 3 days. So if DC was ill on Wednesday or has a special assembly I could have the day off and work an extra day later on.

Having 2 days with the baby would be good. Well I would enjoy that.

Less money and time spent commuting too.

Cm who does dinner is going to be the best solution, both in one place and fed by 6pm = much less stressful evening.

I used to do 2 full days and 2 mornings which was a good balance. Not as cost effective for childcare but only 2 long days for dc.

Can’t really drop hours - a) money and b) I probably need MORE to get the job done but we’re pretending that’s not the case! Long term there is a succession plan for me to take over from my manager when she retires in 2-3 years and I need to learn the ropes from her.

I could potentially work from home one 1 day if I went to 4, which would cut down the dashing around.

There is an excellent holiday club in the school near where I work which my son loved last Easter so he’ll be doing those plus grandparents are very helpful and CM is happy with ad-hoc arrangement.

I work in a school but all through the year although hours are very flexible in the holidays so there’s a bit of ‘give’ there.

I agree about INSET and assemblies etc - the free Mondays and Fridays has fit in very well with school so far.

I would definitely send the 5 year old to childminder. After school club good for 8 years plus when they can do a bit of homework etc. I find most 5 year olds are shattered after school and would find after school a bit full on.

I'd get your husband to do the drop off so you're home at 4 and just be really organised - meal prep the day before work, have clean pjs sitting out, they don't need a bath every night either.

Ok. We’ve had a chat.

3 days, him doing two drop offs.

Older DS - 1 day CM, 1 day Granny, 1 day AFC. We’ll do a trial and see which he prefers - ASC or CM.

Thanks all.