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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby and nursery...

13 replies

bumblebee39 · 14/11/2018 17:37

So my AIBU is regarding putting a 3/4 month old in nursery.

It's not my ideal situation but struggling to work out how I can afford everything if I'm on UC for a year...

Did you put your LO's in nursery young? How did you find it?

I will be taking my other kids to school and nursery anyway so will have to be up about and in routine anyway.

Tia xx

OP posts:
BertramKibbler · 14/11/2018 17:39

I haven’t but my niece went into full time nursery at around 5m. She’s a happy little girl, no worries at all.

bobstersmum · 14/11/2018 17:54

My step daughter went full time from 3 months old. She loved it, the staff were great with her and she was no trouble as a little one, she's 14 now and still a lovely girl, she has good memories of it, we have sent our boys there too as it was so good, although they only went from age 3.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/11/2018 17:58

Would it work financially?

Original poster
bumblebee39 · 14/11/2018 19:46

@SnuggyBuggy I would either earn more (unlikely) or be eligible for child care vouchers/subsidy (for the older two at least). It works out better to be working. I have been through the calculator myself and with others (who tried to say they were worse off financially working due to childcare costs) and I am yet to come across a situation where people are genuinely worse off working. Sometimes the benefit or working is only marginal when taking into account childcare costs etc. But I have never come across a situation where single parents like myself are worse off working. This is not always true for couples I do know however unfortunately...

OP posts:
kitkatsky · 14/11/2018 19:53

DD had to go from 10 weeks old. I had no choice. She's doing fine- we're well attached and she's amazingly bright and sociable. I wish it hadn't had to be that way, but I genuinely believe no harm was done to her because I had to

Original poster
bumblebee39 · 14/11/2018 20:03

Thanks everyone. I am hoping that I can be PT self employed so not too many hours (and some put in once the kids are in bed even if I am attached to a breast pump at the time 😂).

I hate dealing with benefits and the thought of UC being my only income terrifies me. Mostly because they can muck you about so much and I think I am definitely possibly a bit of a control freak when it comes to money.

Even if it goes straight back out I still prefer to be earning something...

OP posts:
SilverDoe · 14/11/2018 20:11

You are right to think like that Bumblebee, even tax credits have fucked me over a couple of times by stopping randomly and without warning and it’s very difficult when you are relying upon them :(

I’m sure your DD will be fine, it must be hard to have to leave her but consistent care in a childcare setting won’t do her harm.

How far can you stretch/put off working? Do you have maternity pay? Would you be working full time or part time? Sorry for all the questions!

Original poster
bumblebee39 · 14/11/2018 20:28

PT and no maternity pay Sad
Taking a year off University but can't do more than that and it's a big step down from student finance even

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee39 · 14/11/2018 20:31

I'm pregnant now baby isn't born yet just thinking ahead and however much I save I can't afford a year at home like I would have wanted. It's just impossible. I had to live off just UC due to a delay with student finance and ended up using food banks really don't want to end up back there...

OP posts:
SilverDoe · 14/11/2018 20:41

It’s such a good idea to plan ahead, but please don’t stress too much, it will work out Flowers

Have you looked into maternity allowance, and a sure start grant? The help available to you can be quite different once your DD is here.

To focus on your actual question, I’m sure your DD will be fine especially if you are only part time. Do you have any support which would help you reduce your living costs - like could you move in with a parent or the baby’s father’s parents?

Solasum · 14/11/2018 20:44

Wouldn’t be for everyone, but if you are doing an arts degree it might be doable to carry on studying with the baby, and get student finance that way. Most unis have nurseries

Original poster
bumblebee39 · 14/11/2018 20:48

No one to move in with or anything like that.
I have considered staying at Uni (as I did with DC2) but really want to commit to getting the best degree I can and have already decided to take a year off from it as 3rd year would be much too full on. It's not arts.

I know I could find a better balance with work but didn't put my older two in so young and didn't want to but know that the reality of single parenthood with 3 kids on UC is going to be more than tough financially

I think it would take away any joy being at home would bring

OP posts:
ineedwine99 · 14/11/2018 20:50

Baby in my daughters nursery is 4m old, very happy little guy Smile

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