AIBU to ask what you do when a much bigger child hits your DC

[greenybluey]

What do you do when another child hits yours? Particularly if the hitter is a much older child and yours is particularly young (in this case a 1 year old and boy about 7 - definitely school age as had uniform on)?

I’m sure no one wants to hear the details of my DCs particular encounter.
I’m also sure there have been lots of threads about this before - if there is a definitive thread please point me towards it.

I should add I mean if the hitting child's parent was either not close by and / or did not see / intervene / come over etc

That's really awful! I'd be furious but I'm not sure what I'd do other than tell the child off and comfort my own child.

I have shouted when this happened. I didn't really think it through I just shouted 'OI! You just hit her!!'

Kid looked a bit scared, apologised and ran off. Probably shouldn't shout at other people's children but to be honest it just came out. I'm pretty pfb about dd

I’d contact the school.

Sorry, posted too soon. Hope the little one is ok!

Do you know the child/parent?

I have no compunction about telling other people's children off so if it was a deliberate hit I would tell off, then make him take me to his parent and tell him/her exactly what happened.

what would contacting the school do unless the op knows the child?? then surely she should be speaking to the mother??

i shouted at a child of around 5 who hit my one year old, instinct just took over!

In my family you'd send an older sibling or cousin over to stick up for them. thump them But then I wouldn't suggest my family is an ideal to aspire to 😂

I walked over when I saw him shouting in DS face and trying to hit him. Then when he did hit DS I said "no, we dont hit babies" and his mum then appeared and told me off for "speaking to her son like that".
Then when DS felt too sad and wanted to go home I put him in his pram once he was strapped in the boy came up - inches from his face and shouted "HAHA NOT YOUR TURN". His mum just stood there.

I mean, I'd feel pretty crappy if I was his mum - I apologised to her between the hitting and when he shouted at DS in the pram as I felt bad for her. but now I'm just thinking what how could I have dealt with it better? I'm not sure how to deal with this sort of thing if saying "we don't hit" is too far?

Kid deserved much more of a telling off, but then I just gave two 14-15 year old lads a mouthful about kicking a football at me, my toddler and newborn so I don't have much filter.

My usual method is to do what I'd hope someone did to my kid if they committed the crime.

Why did you apologise to her?! You did nothing wrong! Saying "no, we don't hit babies" is a very mild rebuke.

I'm not sure how you could have dealt with it any better - sounds like one of those situations where you just run into horrible people and you just have to deal with your own child as best as you can. And it sounds like you did. You stood up for him and took him home when he was upset...that's all you could have done.

Tbh I would assume a 7yr old hitting a 1yr old had some kind of additional needs so I’d keep it simple and say ‘no hitting’ and sit between them/encourage my baby to play somewhere else.
I certainly wouldn’t have apologised to the mum for for telling her child not to hit yours. Why did you apologise?

Don't apologise or feel remotely bad - you were totally within your rights to stop & reprimand a child about to hurt/intimidate your baby!!!!

I had a full on raging 'mum row' in a playpark once, when a little (hellbeast) girl purposely whacked my son in the FACE with an umbrella!!

I tended to deal with it in much the same way. My child has autism so I try to treat other people's children as I'd want him to be treated - not ranty or shouty but clearly and certainly not ignoring the behaviour! I think you just got unlucky today. Some people are just like that - maybe she was having a bad day.

A 7 year old is still very much a child, though I know he seems huge to you looking through your baby's eyes, as it were. I try to channel my inner teacher and keep the tone as neutral as I can muster.

I would have done the same as you (but wouldn't have apologised).

You did what you needed to in order to protect your child. Instead of telling you not to speak to her child the other mother should have been making her son apologise or apologising to you because you had to intervene.
I know some people don't like it, but as far as I am concerned if another child's behaviour means my child will get hurt, then it becomes my business. I know you can't have eyes everywhere, but if your child intentionally hurts or upsets someone else, and you chose to ignore it and not tell them, then you can't complain if someone says something.

Why didn't you give the mother of both barrels as well?

After he'd shouted at my kid I would have put my face right up to his and shouted "don't shout at babies". Hopefully to make him see what it feels like to the victim of his bullying.

Absolutely fine to tell them off if the parent is not onto it straight away. If your child is prone to hitting and you are not closely supervising you have got to expect that other parents are going to intervene.

I think you handled it fine........i'd assume the child had some sort of sn. In which case the mum needs to step up, not defend his right to go around hitting babies.