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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What to do with moody employee?

27 replies

Solenti · 14/11/2018 16:33

I'm genuinely stuck and not sure where to go from here with one particular employee who works for me (own business).
He has always been outgoing and opinionated, he gets on with his work and is on time daily, is rather slow with tasks but does do them adequately. We are a small team, no bullying or issues, all very fair. My only issue is he is so moody! One day he can be ok, the next he will blank people, put ear plugs in (!), have a miserable/angry expression and it makes the atmosphere unbearable. Nobody knows what to say, we all try to act as normal and chat to him etc but it's so difficult as he is yes/no answers with a sullen expression. I've asked if things are ok, can I help etc but he says no. I can't think of any reason he would be unhappy with his role, he has flexible hours, can bring his son in if needed, free tea/coffee, frequent paid for days out/cakes etc, well paid. I don't know what more to do, but I need to do something as his moods are really frustrating for his colleagues and bring a terrible atmosphere. Any ideas?

OP posts:

Original poster

Solenti · 14/11/2018 16:36

To add, I do understand if it is personal/home issues, but if effects my other staff members morale and productivity.

OP posts:

Urbanbeetler · 14/11/2018 16:37

I think you have to avoid allowing this to dominate the workplace. He has a right to his moods and aa long as he’s not overtly being rude to you, your colleagues or clients - why not just ignore him? Make a pact with the others to politely let him get on with it but not let it affect you.

NC4AntiOuting · 14/11/2018 16:37

How long has he been there? All ok work quality wise.

You could have a chat along the ‘duty of care’ line - is all ok, any problems/worries stuff because you’ve noticed the odd mood swing and you’re concerned for his well being as well as the possible effect on his colleagues v

Urbanbeetler · 14/11/2018 16:37

Or just tell him the impact if you think it’s unavoidable.

jerkkneed · 14/11/2018 16:40

I've always disagreed with this wearing earphones at work thing. Absolutely no need for it.

AdoreTheBeach · 14/11/2018 16:44

That’s a tricky one. I’d really like to suggest bringing him in to your office for a chat when he is in one of those moods to ask about the ear phones, one word answers etc and sad face. Ask if he is upset with his work, a colleague? Then if still says nothing is wrong, go further to let him know his colleagues like him and enjoy working with him and that on the occaisions of this type of behaviour, it impacts the team moral as the team feel an atmosphere, don’t know how to go about things. What does employer suggest can be done?

Not sure you can prove much further but I would wonder if they’re suffering g from depression or some very bad situation outside of work or done undiscovered three way love affair on the office gone wrong.

Dorsetdays · 14/11/2018 16:44

Behaviours at work (competencies) are every bit as important as skills but too often these seem to be overlooked.

I would sit down somewhere private and have a chat about the issue, explain what you see and the fluctuating moods and see if you can find out what might be at the root of it so that you can look at support if possible.

Original poster

Solenti · 14/11/2018 16:47

He isn't overtly rude and everyone just gets on and acts normally, but he does sulk if things don't go his way (for example, he wants the radio turned to his channel all the time and won't compromise while the others would like to share). I just can't abide this moody, sulky face he has on and the atmosphere is awkward as he is a big character and fairly domineering so hard to ignore.
I have tried to help as much as possible but if he doesn't want to tell me anything I can't really push it...just sick of having to guess what I'm going to get every day

OP posts:

7yo7yo · 14/11/2018 16:49

I’d give him a warning.
I’d give look at acas then look at how I could get rid.
You sound like your a bit afraid of him op.

YouTheCat · 14/11/2018 16:56

He is rude. Putting ear plugs in and ignoring your colleagues is rude. Not letting other people have their choice on the radio is rude and petulant.

He needs talking to about his attitude.

Osirus · 14/11/2018 17:01

I’ve worked with someone like this for 15 years but she’s much worse. You can’t even speaking to her without her snapping at you; she moans she’s not included in things when she HAS been invited/involved and turns things down. She’s very hard work and we have learned to ignore her. It’s just her sadly and she’ll never change.

It’s not you; it’s him!

ChaosMoon · 14/11/2018 17:04

I wouldn't do it when he's in a mood, because he's les likely to respond productively. Better to talk to him the next day (early so it's fresh) and give him concrete examples of what he's doing and the impact it's having.

You need to be very clear so that he knows what he needs to work on. It can come from a place of care but don't fudge it by saying it's just about you betting concerned. That doesn't tell him he needs to change and he clearly does.

UpstartCrow · 14/11/2018 17:05

Talk to ACAS if you aren't sure how to manage this. His sulks and moods when not getting his own way can be considered a form of bullying.

Feefeetrixabelle · 14/11/2018 17:12

How many people work for you. Could you each have a set day to control the radio? Whoever controls the radio that days makes the teas too that kind of thing. Are you happy as his boss for him to have his earphones in while working?

The next time he does it I would pull him aside ask what’s wrong and if it’s nothing I would give him the rest of the day off to work on how he is communicating with others as if there is no reason he’s giving you then he has no excuse.

MirriVan · 14/11/2018 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizzieBennettDarcy · 14/11/2018 17:19

I'd send him home next time his mood is affecting the atmosphere.

And repeat until he gets the message that he can't behave like a toddler at work.

You have other staff you need to be a role model for.

sackrifice · 14/11/2018 17:20

How long has he been employed there?

I'd not have that in all honestly. I'd bring him in, tell him that he has the choice to stop the bullying [which it is when you sulk for not having your own way], or you can put him on an improvement plan which will be painful and very very long. His choice.

If he had been there less than 2 years, minus notice period, I'd tell him that there is no place for this behaviour and let him go.

smithsally884 · 14/11/2018 17:22

So if he isn't being overtly rude , and isn't in a customer facing role, I think there is anything you can or should do.
You don't even know what the cause of the moodiness is.

I think an ET would look dimly on any disciplinary action taken on someone for being quiet and looking unhappy .

snowbear66 · 14/11/2018 17:22

Sounds like he's trying to dominate the room using his moods to have you all treading on eggshells around him.
If it's your business and you are in charge I'd give him a warning and look for ways to move him on if things don't improve.

smithsally884 · 14/11/2018 17:24

Please get legal advice before you follow some of the apalling suggestions on here!!

TeaByTheSeaside · 14/11/2018 17:29

I'm in exactly the same position, OP. I own my own small business and have 4 employees. We have a really good working environment but one employee is exactly like yours. Most days she's fine but some days she's like a thunder cloud. She comes in and doesn't speak to anyone and gives one word answers and snaps people's heads off (I thought it was PMT but the dates didn't add up).

Like you I tried the "is there anything wrong" tact to be told no. (I suspect there was but she didn't want to say. )

In the end I had to take her aside and tell her how she was affecting morale. That she can always talk to me if there was an issue but if she was just in a bad mood she had to suck it up and be pleasant because that was what being professional at work is about. Cue lots of crying and tears but I stood firm.

She's been OK since but I'm not holding my breath that it'll last. We'll see ...

BlankTimes · 14/11/2018 17:31

he wants the radio turned to his channel all the time and won't compromise while the others would like to share

Whoah! No way. If he's "sharing" the radio with say 5 other people, then he gets his choice 1 day in 6 working days or 1 hour in every 6 working hours period, or mornings and afternoons, however you want to divi up the radio time so it's fair to everyone. He gets one sixth of the time end of.
No ifs or buts, everyone should have their choice for an equal time.

Does he have any conditions where he may need reasonable adjustments from you as his employer, sadly being an arse doesn't count, if not then he has to get on with everything in the same way everyone else does.

Rudgie47 · 14/11/2018 17:37

What you need to do is have a meeting with him and tell him about all the problems you have outlined here and ask him what the problem is, does he have depression or something? If he does then he needs to go to the Drs because he cant carry on like this.
Say he is creating an unpleasant working environment for all around him and that its impacting on everyone. Draw up a plan with him telling him exactly how you want him to behave at work and if he doesn't then he will be taken down the warning route and may eventually be dismissed. Ask him if he understands.
You cant be having this OP, all the places I've worked at they would have begun disciplinary proceedings with him for this.

Original poster

Solenti · 14/11/2018 17:53

Just to clarify, I'm not afraid of him. I want to get this right, I don't want a miserable workplace and I also DON'T want greivances coming up for bullying etc! I want to get this sorted for everyone. I genuinely want to have a team that works and for him to happy and productive. When he is great he's great, it's just these terrible moods I can't stand and the effect it has on the other staff. I've made sure I thank them all daily, that nobody feels undervalued and they all get the same opportunities. I actually think it could be a home related issue which he obviously doesn't have to discuss with me at all, but I seem to be stuck at this place where we can't move forward! I won't be doing any sacking or disciplinary processes without speaking to my legal team and ACAS so no issue there, and I would like to give him a chance to improve before anything else is done. I think the next step is an informal meeting together on a "good" day if possible over a coffee and see what his take on things are. I'm happy if he has days when he wants to be quiet and not chat etc...we all have those. I just don't want this snappy, moody, sulking and I need him to have a flexible approach with other staff about the radio. Thank you everyone for your contributions, it has been really interesting to hear others views on the subject and has been good to get a subject off my chest that has been keeping me awake at nights!

OP posts:

sackrifice · 14/11/2018 21:43

How long has he been employed there?

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