funny overheard conversations

[Pinkkittens292]

I remember there used to be a little column on this in one of the magazines and I could do with something light hearted to cheer me up this morning.
Basically funny snippets of conversations overheard when going about your day to day life that have made you smile!

Mine is two professional parents chatting about work in the school playground (this is a few years back but still makes me smile when I think about it).

Parent 1: "Work is getting us all down at the minute. Morale is low".
Parent 2: "Oh. Morale? Who is Morale? I don't think I've met her have I ? Is she new?"
Parent 1: "Oh, um, no, I meant "low morale" in the workplace. The general mood".
Parent 2: Oh, oh....yes!....Of course!...yes!".

Very simple mistake but I couldn't help smiling to myself.

Time Out always makes me laugh

I was walking behind two boys aged about 13 yesterday. One was saying that he couldn't pronounce "millenium" but obviously struggled to explain which word it was "you know, a hundred years".

loving these!

(but train to NI is a thing, it is called the boat train, and goes to Holyhead, connects with boat and then train other side)

At yoga: “We’re having a totally non-religious wedding. Yeah, it’s going to be Buddhist”

I’ve put this one on MN before, as it had me in hysterics on the bus. Apologies to any of you who’ve seen my previous post of it, but OP might be amused.
I was on the bus in Edinburgh, when a very smartly dressed, middle class dad and his immaculate little 4 year old daughter (velvet coat, patent shoes) got on.
The little girl wanted to sit at the front, but daddy refused. They sat opposite me.
“Bum!” said wee girl, crossly.
Daddy froze.
“We do NOT say bum!” he admonished, in a very posh Edinburgh accent. “Bum is a sweary word.”
He looked around at his fellow passengers with a smug expression, obviously feeling he had signaled his civilised manners and earned good parent points.
The wee girl was having none of it.
“Bum’s not a sweary word” she said scornfully.
There was a short significant pause before she added, helpfully “FUCK’s a sweary word!”.
Daddy put his head in his hands as the whole busload of us shook with helpless laughter!

Walking into Home Bargains the other day, and a wee girl said to her parents 'oooh this is the fanciest shop in the whole world!'

I thought that was so sweet.

not someone elses conversation my own child but i suppose people did over hear it! buying a fan heater in argos and you know how kids have a thing of adding “y” to the end of things, (think bussy instead of bus and drinky that kind of thing!) son starts loudly going “fanny, fanny” when it came out “look mummy fanny!!” i didnt know where to look!

Years ago came across two women looking for butter nut squash in the soft drinks isle. They were walking up and down muttering butter nut squash? Butter nut squash ?

I was once say in a bar near a couple who looked like they were on a first date. They were talking about music they liked and the girl said she really liked old school hip open like The Notorious B.F.G". I nearly cried.

Haha butternut squash!

A friend of mine walked past a couple having an argument in their front garden. The woman yelled “Oh why don’t you just go an have a wank in front of the fish tank like you usually do!”

On a bus, couple behind me, mid 20's, she says to him ooh I love my Mr tidgy , he says if your a good girl you can play with Mr tidgy tonight.... I was shaking with mute laughter

I've told it before but found it very amusing.
Two teen girls weighed down with COPIUS bags of designer shopping approach the couple seated on the bench next to me.
Woman: Oh my gawd! How much money did you two spend?!
Girl 1 looking at Girl 2 confusedly then back to Mum: Money? We didn't spend any money - we charged it!

In toby carvery there was a table of older ladies ordering puddings.
Lady: I'll have the Apple crumble with sin,a,money. Er sin,o,moany,
Waiter: cinnamon
Lady: yes, Apple crumble with cinnamon
Waiter: with custard?
Lady: no! Cinnamon

I wet myself

Notorious BFG 😂😂😂😂😂😂

The notorious BFG has me weeping too

I was once standing in a queue to pay behind a lady in Topshop or somewhere similar who was absolutely lambasting the poor checkout assistant for something or other. All I heard before she flounced off was "you are bloody INCONTINENT!" I assume she meant incompetent? I wet myself (pun intended)

My mum overheard 2 old ladies on the bus:

Lady1: Do you know what I love - an oyster
Lady2: An oyster? I've never had one
Lady1: You should try one - they're lovely
Lady2: I don't fancy them at all.

Lady1: Oh they're really delicious
Lady2: Aren't they all....fishy?
Lady1: Fishy! No they're not fishy at all. Why would they be fishy?
Lady2: Well...aren't they slimy?
Lady1: Slimy! No they're not slimy either. They're all crunchy and have ice cream in them.
Lady2: Oh, an oyster!

My folks were helpless with laughter.

Where I work a girl was showing me white on her tongue. I knew what it was as kids have had it. Didn't realise customers have walked in and said oh you have thrush. I work with food so yeah that wasnt a good move
😂😂😂

butternut squash 😂

Overhead on the bus, a pair of teenagers discussing their friend who had just had a baby.
"And they called her Tia Maria"

I kid you not.

Babdoc

Crying laughing here

In the motorway services yesterday, woman exits Ladies loo and walks towards a man who has a poodle in his arms.
"Do you want to go?" she asks.
"No, I've just been" he responds.
"You took her into the GENTS???"

Butternut squash