Have you ever heard anything like this in your life?

[legaladviceplease]

I am 7 months pregnant and I have just been in a petrol station to get a drink. I was browsing the drinks fridge and was approached by a man.

He said: 'congratulations'.

I thought this was a little random as I didn't know him, but said 'thank you'.

He then went on to say 'well done on not looking like your typical haggard pregnant woman, you are pretty and well put together'.

I was floored. I'm not sure what my AIBU is? I guess AIBU for not saying anything? I have a million things in my head now, but I was so shocked I just looked at him until he walked away.

Btw...I am dressed up as I have a business type meeting, if I could be in my pyjamas I would, so I promise not a stealth boast!

What a creepy dickhead. Like you I probably wouldn’t have known what to say but have come up with loads of come backs afterwards.

That's a very weird thing to say and I would have probably reacted the same as you. Men who undermine/criticize other women on the pretext of a compliment seem a bit creepy, sexist and shallow so that would really annoy me.

I just wish I could go back and give him a swift kick on behalf of all pregnant women...

YANBU. This was an entitled and boundary-pushing attempt at a compliment. Not your job to educate him.

I think that there would have been a dull thud as my jaw hit the floor

I can't stop thinking about it...I'm just so raging!!

Some men feel they're entitled to pass judgement in womens appearance. They think women were put on the earth to be somehow subservient and too merely look pretty, cause that's their entire value.

Other men don't think that way obviously.

The only way to stop this is by women doing the same back to the men,
"Thanks, shame you look like a bag of old spanners that needs a good wash"

Sadly mysognistic weirdo creepy bastards roam the earth amongst us and you just met one. Apparently they even frequent petrol stations. Sigh.

Creepy guy. Let it go though now as you'll never see him again!

YANBU for not responding to that - it's hard to do in the moment when caught off guard like that and many people who make comments like that will just get arsey if you pull them up on it and it's not worth the stress. I usually only respond when I'm already stressed out and my mouth gets ahead of my brain & then I'm embarrassed about it.

Eurgh. It's a pity you didn't just look him up and down and say fuck off. Patronising wanker. I expect he thought you'd be weepy with gratitude at a man thinking you are attractive despite being pregnant.

And there he was congratulating himself on his “gracious” compliment to an attractive pregnant woman. Probably classes himself as a “ gentleman “.

Count yourself lucky he approved of your (no doubt neutral) facial expression, as you perused the drinks options. You might have narrowly missed a ‘Smile, Love, it may never happen!’ comment.

Isn’t it just tickety-boo terrific when we meet the male expectation that we decorate their world to a sufficient standard? Give yourself a Gold Star, little lady!

fucking men

I would be raging as well OP! I'm a fan of a hard stare teamed with a "I don't care what you think." Because they seem to think we do, it's so fucking annoying.

I’d have picked up a four pack of special brew and said ta luv

Lol, sounds like someone was hitting on you in a total creepy way
I would have said something... So rude. As you say even though you looked great, you didn't feel like it and were still offended. I had lotsa comments, (was dressed up for family events and weddings etc - a busy pregnancy) but always gave back a remark. No one's business but my own.
Try being pregnant before you make a comment!
Try forget about it though, doesn't sound like he wanted to offend you, although he used no brains

I think that there would have been a dull thud as my jaw hit the floor

I think there would have been a dull thud as he hit the floor

What a dicksplash.

Fucking hell!
(And I'll bet he'll be pleased with himself all day for being such a right-on man who isn't sexist misogynistic chauvinist pig.)

Some men just can't help themselves and have no idea how inappropriate it is, they think they're giving you a compliment . I am a company director and we employ various associates to work with us on projects. Last week I was going to a meeting with one of these associates, a man my own age (mid 50s). he's very good at his job, which is why we use him, and he's a decent, caring person.

However, as we were walking into the meeting he mentioned how nice I was looking, how much he admires a well-dressed, attractive woman, how he likes that about his own partner (also a senior professional). I was and , not least because he's an archetypical middle aged man - over weight, too little exercise, eats all the wrong things, works too much, clothes don't fit properly. So, so inappropriate.

Vile creepy man who despises women. Sorry you had to encounter one but don't blame yourself for not having the perfect comeback ready. Most people only think of the best thing to say some time afterwards.
For future reference, here are a few possibles...

'OMG, a real, live Nice Guy TM! Where's your fedora?'

'ahahahahahahahahaha, where's the hidden camera?'

'Mate, I'd ask for a refund on that book of chat up lines for losers if I were you...'

Or the perennial favourite, claiming you didn't hear or understand and making them repeat it again and again...

No you were NBU not to say anything. Not sure what you could say to that.

Very creepy man. Who the hell says things like that to a stranger.

WTAF?