AIBU to expect a response?

[Doyoumind]

I have noticed a gradual escalation in lack of contact with someone I used to be very close to and communicate with almost daily.

This isn't a friend it's a family member.

We are still close. We haven't fallen out (as far as I am aware) but I never seem to have phone calls returned or messages answered any more. Other family members have noticed the same and one in particular is very hurt although I know they won't bring it up with this person.

I have been concerned about them and tried to check they are ok, suspecting they are stressed and potentially depressed. I haven't got anywhere with that. After being sympathetic for a while I am starting to feel more and more hurt. I have some major things going on in my life. I don't expect this person to be available for long chats. I'm only expecting a supportive text. At times when I have needed some emotional support I've had nothing back but have noticed that while my messages aren't being answered, there are responses to messages from other people / on other subjects.

I don't know what the best way to handle this is. On one hand I wish they would open up and tell me what's up. On the other I wish they would understand the hurt they are causing other family members and myself to some extent and call them out on it.

I know I can't force someone to stay in touch but how do I get to the bottom of this and know where we all stand?

Bump

I would also be inclined to think something was wrong - withdrawal is a very common symptom of depression and anxiety. And they may be hiding that from you - people get good at projecting a front that they are ok to the world.

I think all you can do is let them know that you’re there for them if they need you. Keep reaching out and sharing your news with them, but accept that they may not be able to offer emotional support for a while. I’m sure when they are ready they will open up to you.

How long do I let it go on for though? When I ask about them I get no response. They didn't contact someone close on an important occasion but I can see they are contacting other people about trivial things. I think it's the selective communication that has made me feel bad. I know that's possibly part of putting on an act but they should know better because contact issues have caused a lot of problems in our family in the past (not involving this person) so it's very sensitive.