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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wife swap?

17 replies

JustJake · 13/11/2018 23:27

Ok, not quite wife swap but...

My ex wife had an affair with a work colleague 3 years ago. Long story short we divorced and she is now engaged to him.

Their relationship was discovered by his then wife and as a result we got to know each other. Over the past three years we have supported each other as friends and become close. Nothing physical has happened but I have developed strong feelings for her.

She recently came over to get advice about something and we ended up drinking a bottle of wine. We kissed, but before it could go much further I stopped and said I thought it would be better if we waited until we were sober. She agreed but we both acknowledged it was difficult to tear ourselves away. I sent her a text the next morning saying I would really like to take her out on a proper date and we have decided on a place and time.

Is it weird to want to have a relationship with my ex-wife’s fiance’s ex-wife?! Even writing that down makes it seem ridiculous.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/11/2018 23:37

Neither one of you is doing anything wrong. Perhaps fate has brought you together. Move ahead and enjoy yourselves. I wish you nothing but happiness.

Seeingadistance · 14/11/2018 00:03

I have friends who've been married for over 20 years now. They got together a couple of years after their respective husband and wife ran off with each other.

Go for it!

MrsStrowman · 14/11/2018 00:16

She and your ex wife , and you and her ex husband probably have some traits in common, which is why her ex husband fell for your wife and she fell for him. You've been through a lot together too and have developed an emotional connection. Go for it.

Ariela · 14/11/2018 01:03

Definitely go for it. I have a friend who is now married to her ex husband's new wife's(she was the OW) ex husband and SO much happier in the new relationship than the old...the kids all get on fine too.

twinsrunmylife · 14/11/2018 01:05

Definitely go for it! I really hope it works out for you both

halfwitpicker · 14/11/2018 01:26

Brilliant. Go ahead.

chocolatebox1 · 14/11/2018 02:08

It's not that unheard of! Along with marrying one's own divorce lawyer - I know of two family friends who have done that! Upsetting situations have a strange way of bringing people together, every cloud etc. Go for it!

BunsOfAnarchy · 14/11/2018 03:19

You're heart was broken and trodden on. As was hers.

You both deserve a chance at happiness. Go for it OP.

flumpybear · 14/11/2018 03:31

It st all, they say 'love is strange' somethings strange things happen and out of bad comes good ... go for it!

1forAll74 · 14/11/2018 03:52

Yes,as others have said, go for it, Just follow your heart and not anything in your head.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/11/2018 04:00

I once met a man (removal guy doing our move), who told me had done a swap. In fact they were all friends before and after. Decided they wanted to swap. I found it fascinating. He said they were all much happier.

I hope you will be very happy.

missperegrinespeculiar · 14/11/2018 04:21

Nothing wrong or weird, you supported each other through difficult times, you know her well, why not? best of luck OP

JustJake · 14/11/2018 11:50

Thanks for the well wishes and reassurance everyone. We are both the resident parents and this weekend is their time with our exes so we are both looking forward to spending some time together alone.

OP posts:
BeatriceJoanna · 14/11/2018 12:25

Sounds fine to me. Good luck, OP.

We had neighbours who swapped partners. They were all friends and one day the blokes just changed houses. They stayed friends and neither couple moved house. It was a nine days wonder to the rest of us but seemed to work for them.

noego · 14/11/2018 19:14

ooooooo. Love to see their faces when you tell them :)

I know someone who ended up with his brothers wife after his wife had run of with his brother. (if that makes sense)

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 15/11/2018 17:59

I don't think it's weird, people meet in all kinds of ways. Have a nice weekend together. Smile

onthenaughtystepagain · 16/11/2018 12:05

A friend of mine got together with her husband's solicitor after their divorce!

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