DSis has been with her BF for just under 2 years now. He happens to be my OH friend, and as a friend he couldn't be faulted but I'm beginning to dislike him.
LTB might be a harsh term but I do think DSis should finish with him. As of tonight they are not talking and he is being incredibly childish. Both of them are mid 20s and DSis has started to save to move out in the next few years. She has had conversations with her BF about moving out and he has agreed that in a few years he wants to however he refuses to save until he has decided to move, meaning it will be a further few years. He sees no point in saving because he could spend the money on things now and has also said that if he did live with someone his money is his and he would have no joint account with anyone.
DSis has also complained that they don't spend time together and he has said he can't be bothered when she asks but he still goes out drinking most nights after work and will turn DSis down before going out with friends. He turns her down before going out with others.
Last night they argued again it ended with him telling her not to contact him because he needed space. Today DSis asked him to message when he was home from work (he's a new driver and hasn't completed that journey alone before). He messaged with the word 'home' and she asked if they could speak about things to which he replied 'no when I want to speak to you I'll let you know'.
It seems to me that without the childish and controlling behaviour they are both at very different points in their lives. DSis is looking at her future but he doesn't seem to want to grow up, for lack of a better phrase. The emotionally abusive 'dont contact me until I decide you can' is the final straw as far as I'm concerned.
I asked DSis is this is what she wanted and she became a bit upset, understandably. I wasn't judgey but a 'you seem to be in different places, maybe use this time to think about you and what you want'. So wibu to have suggested this?