To question my marriage?

[user1467722214]

My 2yr old daughter opened DH bank statement in August. My eyes came across a transaction for a dating site. Husband says it was fraud. Bank hasn't repaid the amount. Believed him at the time but have noticed sound (beeps) on phone and when challenged he says ppi are bothering him (evening!???!! @#).when challenged he won't let me see his phone and gets angry when asked. I don't know what to do next?

Join the dating site and see if he's on there, likewise others.

Monitor his movements a bit closer and I'd say you'll probably catch him out

He's up to something.

That doesn't sound good. How are things between you and him generally?

We were a team. Never argued, I have been off work with stress and anxiety and I think he has found it hard to cope with me and my lack of sex drive. Not excusable but true

What do you mean @callmedarcy

YANBU at all to question your marriage. What a coincidence that the one time you see his statement it just happened to coincide with a fraud and on a dating website no less

I'd have already packed my bags the second he refused to show me his phone. People go on about privacy, blah blah blah, but, in his shoes, if I didn't have anything to hide why would it bother me to show my DH my phone if I could see how worried he was about the state of our marriage. For me, the trust would be gone after this, sorry OP

If he’s got an iPhone put his thumb on the home button when he’s sleeping. That’s how sneaky I am 🤭. I’ve actually heard of someone doing that because they didn’t trust their partner.

Does that unlock the phone? Oh i see, takes you to the home page?

Yeah it unlocks the phone and then you can view everything really. If the phone is set up with fingerprint recognition that is 👍🏼

To be fair fraud does happen- a few years ago someone stole my husband’s credit card number and opened up a Christian Mingle account and it was picked up remarkably fast but he got a phone number immediately from fraud investigation unit for the card company but he wad clear and transparent with me and is not secretive in the least. I hope it works out for you OP

Get hold of him buy his @@@@@ ask him to tell the truth or else 🥐🥦

Thank You. We haven't spoken for two days... Guessing nothing left to say!

Lol. Actually did happen. DD has excellent acute motor skills - not that I need to justify to you. Unhelpful comment! Keep your thoughts to yourself if not constructive to discussion

Comment was to @walkingdeadfangirl

Tbh it does sound like he is on this site, or a similar one.

You need to sit him down and ask him to be honest with you - about this and (perhaps more importantly) his views on your marriage. Trust is gone, you suspect him. He won’t assuage your feelings by showing you his phone.

How did he used to be in regards to his phone?

My exDH used to be very open with his, would leave it about etc...then he got really cagey about it, never left it alone, was always on it, keeping it on silent and suddenly stopped letting me use it. He got really arsey when I questioned it about it too.

As it turns out the woman he told me was a lesbian work friend isn't much of a lesbian considering she's now his GF!

If i was you, I would trust your gut instinct.